Here Are 15 of the Funniest Drunk Stories To Gear You Up For St. Patrick's Day!
Jimmy Fallon is at it again with the hashtags! This time it's #MyDrunkStory, which we all know is perfect for our favorite, classy, and level headed holiday: St. Patrick's Day. What better way is there to celebrate this joyous day than to get totally and completely obliterated? It's definitely exactly what the Irish intended. They clearly wanted their culture and traditions used as an excuse for Americans spend a whole day dressed in green and getting completely wasted. So don't let them down! Raise a glass -- bottoms up!
It's Hashtags time! Tweet out a funny or embarrassing drinking story and tag it with #MyDrunkStory. Could be on the show!— jimmy fallon (@jimmyfallon) March 13, 2018
1. Jim is lookin' gooooood though.
One night i got home really drunk and watched The Office, after 10 minutes i got really upset and yelled at the tv because it wasn't funny then i realized i was watching Mad Man... #MyDrunkStory— Jordan In a coma Ik Its serious (@jordancohen2u) March 13, 2018
2. Did you follow the recipe exactly as instructed?
I once spilled beer on my socks at a party and decided that the quickest way for me to dry them off was a minute or two in the microwave... I left the kitchen with someone yelling out "Who's cooking a sock?!" #MyDrunkStory @jimmyfallon— Daniel Del Pozo (@The_DDP) March 13, 2018
3. Awkward moments don't stop after High School
One time I got drunk with an old teacher from high school and apparently, at some point during the night, I raised my hand and asked him if I could use the bathroom. #MyDrunkStory— Jesse Betts (@JesseBetts11) March 13, 2018
4. They probably just didn't want you to pee in their car...
I stepped outside of the bar to smoke. I realized I had to pee in the worst way but I had half a cig left. Decided to squat between two cops cars for ‘privacy’. Shout out to the San Diego policemen who let me finish up before they cuffed me. #MyDrunkStory— Hillary Welch (@welch864) March 13, 2018
5. Nailed it.
6. Google would have been useful in this situation.
I got so drunk that I went up to my roof, switched my phone to airplane mode and flung it at the sky hoping it would take off... It didn't.#MyDrunkStory— DebrajSwamessi (@MessedUpJack) March 13, 2018
7. This does not seem sanitary on so many levels.
I was at a house party and straight up pooped myself. Ran upstairs, washed my underwear in the sink and jammed them in my purse. Ended up hooking up with one of the guys that lived there later that night and he thought it was sooooo hot I wasn't wearing underwear #MyDrunkStory— jenna (@jenlcan) March 13, 2018
8. YOU BETTER BUILD THE DOG A DAMN WHEELCHAIR, PAL.
Somehow managed to convince my deaf Uber driver that I would build her disabled dog a wheelchair...didn’t know I did any of this until I woke up to this text the next morning...#MyDrunkStory pic.twitter.com/SOubih2ulp— Jimmy Hawley (@Hawleylujah) March 13, 2018
9. So, you're the annoying drunk that no one likes to be around, then.
One time I was so drunk that I called my local pizza shop call "Mario's Pizza" ranting about Luigi not getting enough credit and how everything is about Mario, even saying that he has his own pizza shop. #MyDrunkStory— Marcos (@MarcosAmparo3) March 13, 2018
10. That's some self-respect!
I was super drunk at a bar once and walked into the bathroom. When I turned I bumped into someone and said "oh my gosh I'm so sorry". Took me 5 minutes to realize that the 'person' I bumped into was my reflection in the mirror. #MyDrunkStory— Catarina Duguay (@CATARINAvonD) March 13, 2018
11. Time to switch to coffee, dad.
So I'm at my exes wedding. After a few shots of tenessees finest I decided to tell her I love her. Ramble up and spill beans. To my surprise she kisses me right there and then on the dance floor. Everyone claps. I blink and focus and its my son. #mydrunkstory— bad G (@MarkChutney) March 13, 2018
12. But more importantly, you didn't get to eat your snack.
#MyDrunkStory— Besty (@SteBest82) March 13, 2018
After a long day and night of drinking I woke up in bed and went to grab my phone, it wasn't there, but there was a peice of toast in its place. After looking around the house for the phone I found it, in the microwave covered in melted cheese. 👍
I called a cab and when I arrived home I proudly slid over a $10 bill, winked and said “keep the change” The cab ride was $24. #MyDrunkStory— Tammy (@tammystwocents) March 13, 2018
14. We aspire to reach this level of faced.
I was trapped in an elevator, used the emergency phone freaking out till the door opened an I was rescued. Couldn’t figure out why my rescuers seemed so annoyed. Turns out I wasn’t trapped, in my drunken state I just forgot to press a button. #MyDrunkStory— Ashley Lynn (@AshLT271) March 13, 2018
15. And we'll end it with Jimmy himself.
One night I got drunk with a foreign diplomat. He thought I worked for “the embassy.” Turns out I work for “NBC.” #MyDrunkStory— jimmy fallon (@jimmyfallon) March 13, 2018