By FML FML Users Rise Up! I agree, your life sucks 842 You deserved it 104 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was out shopping when an old lady bumped into me and dropped her purse. Trying to help, I bent over to pick it up, at which point she battered the shit out of me, called me a "filthy thief" and threatened to open an umbrella in my ass. What the fuck has the world come to? FML I agree, your life sucks 41236 You deserved it 3022 185 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Ob3nie - United States - San Francisco Today, me and my boyfriend decided to have some fun in my room before my parents got home. My phone started vibrating half-way through, and when I saw my mom's picture, I reflexively answered. It wasn't a phone call. It was a face time. Busted. FML I agree, your life sucks 34603 You deserved it 53892 57 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By cmilla - United States Today, I was setting up comcast cable boxes for my house. I had the packaging everywhere when I finished. Looking admirably at my job, I backed out my door, and stepped on bubble wrap, scaring myself. I flailed, fell, reached out, grabbing one of the cable wires. I pulled the cable box and my modem off. FML I agree, your life sucks 10469 You deserved it 22397 48 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Tori - United States Today, I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. Within seconds of getting my drink, I spilled it all over the table and my scarf. When the waiter was helping clean up the spill, he knocked over my boyfriend's drink. All over my pants. FML I agree, your life sucks 32237 You deserved it 4999 50 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By O_o - United States - Simi Valley Today, I had to explain to my husband why saving the condom from the first time we had sex is not romantic. FML I agree, your life sucks 59087 You deserved it 6651 88 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By NotALady Today, I was at a gas station when I got a bad stomach ache. I clenched my cheeks together and rushed to the nearest bathroom. Twenty minutes and a clogged toilet later, I exited the one-person bathroom to a line of very angry women. I had run into the wrong restroom. One of them threw a tampon at me. FML I agree, your life sucks 8330 You deserved it 1610 38 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By MozillaHostile - Canada Today, I saw my cat attacking a suitcase under my bed for apparently no reason. I laughed and picked it up to show him that there was nothing there, only to find a huge wasp hiding under it. FML. I agree, your life sucks 22819 You deserved it 2659 34 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By nasty_ex - Australia Today, I finally found out who has been sending me hate letters, it's my husband's ex-wife. They've been divorced for 7 years. FML I agree, your life sucks 35568 You deserved it 3373 138 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By xXWhiteSheepXx - United States - Omaha Today, my cat likes to share my pillow at night. I guess she was extra comfortable last night, because she didn't bother getting off it to hack up a hairball. I woke up because I rolled my face onto it. FML I agree, your life sucks 18690 You deserved it 2400 39 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fleetingmemories - United States - Falls Church Today, I had to bail my husband out of jail. It turns out that in the Black Friday rush, he beat a guy up just so he could get his hands on the last of a heavily-discounted item. The item in question: a toaster. FML I agree, your life sucks 44923 You deserved it 4309 87 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I gave a man a cigarette. He spent the rest of the day so far following me around, telling me all about his medical history, and chasing after me when I got too far away. I couldn't get rid of him for hours. FML I agree, your life sucks 26588 You deserved it 8046 121 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By "Lifefail887" Today, after buying a new pair of prescription glasses, I went to the beach. The ocean now has a new pair of glasses. FML I agree, your life sucks 3849 You deserved it 2320 26 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By qwaynick Today, my wife got her second kidney stone in a month. I gave her some pills to help with the pain. An hour later she started hallucinating, pulled down her pants and tried to pee on our couch. FML I agree, your life sucks 32944 You deserved it 6579 109 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Trey Wipperfurth-Eisner Today, I woke up at 1:39 a.m. to my dad's phone going off, only to hear my parents having sex. It's now 2:12 a.m. and I can still hear them going at it. FML I agree, your life sucks 1764 You deserved it 214 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By DUMMIE - United States Today, we were working with infant and adult CPR dummies. After practising flawless CPR on the adult dummy, I announced "And that's how you save someone." Then I tripped on the baby dummy and fell. My co-worker stood up and yelled out, "And that's how you kill a baby." FML I agree, your life sucks 10596 You deserved it 30200 180 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By stickyandwet - Australia - Perth Today, 3 hours into a 7-hour flight, I only ate half the chocolate mousse that came with my meal and decided to give the rest to my boyfriend. While reaching for his tray, he mistook the action as me stealing his mousse. We spent the rest of the flight covered in sticky soft drink splatter. FML I agree, your life sucks 5753 You deserved it 867 23 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By shit Music - Slovenia - Ljubljana Today, I forgot my headphones at home. When I got to work I found out that today was also the day the band next door had decided to practice their only song for 8 hours. FML I agree, your life sucks 11470 You deserved it 916 19 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada Today, I was feeling rebellious, I decided to procrastinate instead of studying for my really important English test tomorrow. I was having a pretty good time until I realized my idea of procrastinating was cleaning my TI-83 graphing calculator with rubbing alcohol and Q-tips. FML I agree, your life sucks 20902 You deserved it 53231 203 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By author - United States - Sicklerville Today, I was at the fish store asking if they were hiring. My stepdad decided to humiliate me by screaming at them repeatedly that I'm a good person and that I deserve the job. FML I agree, your life sucks 40888 You deserved it 3715 54 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By rollergirl13 - United States - Fairbanks Today, I texted my boyfriend of two years and asked if he wanted to go to ball with me. His response was "The person you are trying to message cancelled their phone service and moved to Mexico. Taco taco burrito." I'll take that as a no. FML I agree, your life sucks 51097 You deserved it 5670 126 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sheryl_m - United States Today, I came home expecting a surprise party. It was my birthday and I had overheard my friends planning it all week. Nobody was there. It turns out the party they were planning was for my friend's dog's birthday. FML I agree, your life sucks 68030 You deserved it 4524 80 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ALetterADay Today, I wrote a long, loving and emotional Christmas letter to my girlfriend, leaving it for her to read when she woke up. Halfway through the day, I received a text stating that she saw my "breakup letter" and threw out all my stuff. I can't even contact her now. FML I agree, your life sucks 5002 You deserved it 454 21 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 2/10/2020 02:03 - United States - Cleveland Inspirational tale Today, my parents got a call from my principal. I'd been lying that I couldn’t see the work I had to do in my online class, because I was behind and I needed to catch up. Tomorrow my parents are getting a call, telling them the dates I've been logged into the online learning. I haven’t logged in in weeks. FML I agree, your life sucks 199 You deserved it 2283 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By dump truck hater - United States - Austin Today, when leaving my apartment, I instantly noticed there was a giant dump truck in our lot, which turned out to be directly behind my car. After making a 20-point escape from my parking space and getting to work late, my roommate texts me "DUDE guess what I got last night". A giant dump truck. FML I agree, your life sucks 27669 You deserved it 2203 58 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By hahahaha090114 - United States Today, I found out I was getting a divorce. My wife is leaving me for my brother, saying that now that he has money there is nothing that can stand in their way. I recently decided to send him money to help him get back on his feet. FML I agree, your life sucks 45047 You deserved it 3002 115 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lucy_g - United States Today, I was talking to my boyfriend, feeling pretty low. I said something along the lines of "You like me even when I look like shit." He replied, "Ah, that's just how you naturally look." FML I agree, your life sucks 45044 You deserved it 7273 82 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By illuminatzi - United States - Temple Today, I was running late for work. I forgot my name tag and work hat at home, but my boss is pretty laid back, so I wasn't worried about it. Five minutes into my shift, the district supervisor walked in for a surprise employee inspection. FML I agree, your life sucks 24362 You deserved it 5982 49 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By xx-look-at-xx - France - Auriol Today, I was supervising some kids, who were playing on a bouncy castle. One of them managed to kick me in the face during a jump, and looking for an apology, I asked, "What do you say?" He paused, then shouted, "HEADSHOTTTTT!" FML I agree, your life sucks 48201 You deserved it 19797 105 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I found out that my mom screams like a dying monkey while having sex. Even with my music turned up all the way, I can still hear her through our paper thin walls. FML I agree, your life sucks 40928 You deserved it 3509 127 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By bandeek Knackered Today, my boyfriend and I fell asleep twice during sex. FML I agree, your life sucks 11935 You deserved it 2823 33 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By victoria - 4/4/2021 21:30 It's a wrap Today, I had a school band concert in which I was doing a clarinet solo. I had a Laffy Taffy before the concert. Little did I know part of the wrapper got stuck in my hair. I went through the whole concert like that and I was so embarrassed when I found out afterwards. FML I agree, your life sucks 622 You deserved it 218 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 24/3/2021 13:59 So many questions Today, I work at the DMV. My ex-husband’s sister came in for a last name change. When I looked at the marriage license and her other documents, it was revealed that she was never his sister. My ex-husband is now her husband. Now I understand why they always spent time alone together. FML I agree, your life sucks 1608 You deserved it 77 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I found out that I'm not my girlfriend's only boyfriend. The other guy sells shoes on Facebook. FML I agree, your life sucks 1498 You deserved it 108 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By crazygirl - Canada Today, I went to a work party where we had a Secret Santa. I gave a nice set of beer bottles with glasses. When my name was called I naturally picked the biggest gift. I got groceries. I now have dog food and men's body spray. I don't have a boyfriend or a dog. FML I agree, your life sucks 11196 You deserved it 33596 63 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By thanks, my fellow americans - United States - Woodlyn Today, I was again turned down by a potential host family on a student exchange site. Their reasoning was basically that since I'm American, I might do something to endanger my health, get hurt, and then sue them over my own stupidity. FML I agree, your life sucks 47599 You deserved it 13591 205 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By GodDaughter - United States Today, I was locked out of my house so I texted my cousin to come over and help me get in. She came over, stood on a chair and lifted me through the smallest unlocked window possible. Sadly, this was my bathroom window and I ended up head-first into my toilet. FML I agree, your life sucks 37514 You deserved it 9933 77 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco Today, my sister recorded the sound of me having intense diarrhea, retching at the stench, and eventually breaking down in tears. I only found out when I saw she'd posted it online, with the caption "lol #gaytard #sorrynotsorry". I've never been called a pussy by so many people before. FML I agree, your life sucks 23914 You deserved it 3972 110 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ktwithaq - United States Today, I got a promotion. I was really excited until I realized that the only friend I had to celebrate with was my pet cat. FML I agree, your life sucks 28709 You deserved it 5346 115 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By notsohot Today, I showed up at my boyfriend's house with nothing under my coat but some sexy lingerie. He told me he was working on an assignment, and made me wait three hours before he'd have sex with me. FML I agree, your life sucks 1232 You deserved it 2086 18 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco Bye gifts Today, it seemed like a great day. Right up until the point to where I accidentally damaged a friend's MacBook Pro. Not only do I have to pay for it, but the only way I'll be able to afford it is by returning every single Christmas gift I get. FML I agree, your life sucks 2401 You deserved it 635 19 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
Today, I'm in a relationship in which the sex was great and constant at the beginning. Now it’s so quick, bad and inconsistent, it’s like going at it with... I agree, your life sucks 102 You deserved it 17 0 Comments
Today, my husband’s been dropping hints he wants to open our marriage. When I got home, a couple of his coworkers dropped by "for drinks". They tried to... I agree, your life sucks 421 You deserved it 30 5 Comments
