By FML FML Users Rise Up! I agree, your life sucks 819 You deserved it 102 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By comphone - France Today, I went to work 300 miles away from where I live. I couldn't find my customer's address, so I decided to call him. I'd picked up my wireless house phone instead of my mobile. FML I agree, your life sucks 27274 You deserved it 9553 23 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By thechad_144 - United States Today, at an elementary school a girl showed me her grandma's obituary in the paper and started crying. To stop her from crying I made things out of the rest of the paper, later she asked me where her grandma's obituary was. I accidentally made it into a hat, with lots of tape. FML I agree, your life sucks 11068 You deserved it 52950 93 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, at my new job, I took some food out to a customer. Walking away, I heard a lady mumble, "Oh my God, you could never pay me enough to wear that." FML I agree, your life sucks 25463 You deserved it 3523 62 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anonymous - United Kingdom Today, I found out that when I orgasm, my increased heart rate causes me to pass out. I also found out my boyfriend doesn't stop when I'm unconscious. FML I agree, your life sucks 59072 You deserved it 8487 208 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By constantine - United States Today, I told my girlfriend that I didn't feel wanted. Then she talked about how her cat puked on the carpet. FML I agree, your life sucks 32396 You deserved it 3414 30 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By number2 - United States Today, it hit me that my dad didn't cry when I moved out, he did so only when I came back later to pick up my cat. FML I agree, your life sucks 29725 You deserved it 3277 42 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By bruh Today, I found out my boyfriend made a move to hook up with my best friend. She was about to reciprocate, only for him to suddenly tell her that she’s a horrible friend, and then he told me about it. I’m not sure if I should be picking sides here. FML I agree, your life sucks 2431 You deserved it 181 26 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ostfae - United States Today, I was told by this big guy from school that I needed to stop stalking his girlfriend, and stop following her home from school. She's my neighbor. FML I agree, your life sucks 42356 You deserved it 2247 90 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Username - Singapore Today, I was put in lockup for accidentally scaring the officer by lifting my hand to scratch my head. FML I agree, your life sucks 1572 You deserved it 214 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Chattanooga Backwards ass logic Today, my boyfriend told me that it's "disgusting" to wash your "rear end" and that he has never, and will never, do it. FML I agree, your life sucks 1852 You deserved it 201 18 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Rain Today, I discovered my own mother has been stealing money from me for months when I opened my savings box to find it empty. FML I agree, your life sucks 9861 You deserved it 677 22 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my fiancé has been jumping out of closets and from around corners with a video camera, trying to catch me naked. He says he wants to post a video online so his old high school friends can "rate" me. I'm now afraid to get intimate, shower, or even change my clothes in my own home. FML I agree, your life sucks 44953 You deserved it 5105 286 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my girlfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex. Over breakfast, she said it was the most intense, primal and mind-blowing sexual experience she ever had. Problem is, I don't remember a damned thing. FML I agree, your life sucks 72422 You deserved it 9996 176 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Tyler Today, I found out my fiancé is already married when his wife showed up at my door. That's about the same time she found her husband is gay, and that Ashley can be a man's name. FML I agree, your life sucks 30019 You deserved it 2773 117 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By MIB - United States Today, I awoke to banging at my door. It was my neighbor, accusing me of stealing her mail to spy on her, because apparently she thinks I must be some sort of secret agent. The cops don't believe me when I call, and she won't go away. FML I agree, your life sucks 32618 You deserved it 2797 116 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Jessica - Romania Today, at 21 years of age, my doctor confirmed that I am, indeed, going bald. It wouldn't be such a bad thing, even expected, if I wasn't a woman. FML I agree, your life sucks 46316 You deserved it 3461 227 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Alicia - United States Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have sex for the first time. Not only did he struggle for five minutes to put on a condom (repeatedly snapping himself in the balls), but he then had to ask me "which hole" to put it in. I'm dating a thirty-four year old virgin. FML I agree, your life sucks 32185 You deserved it 6270 147 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Robert - United States - Anchorage Today, a brief survey of everyone I know revealed that everyone, including my parents, sibling, and best friends, thinks I'm gay. I had to do the first reverse coming out in history. FML I agree, your life sucks 4330 You deserved it 429 27 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anonymous - United States - San Francisco Today, I was sick, so I went into work to see if I could get my shift covered, instead of just calling in. I ended up working an extra hour. FML I agree, your life sucks 10512 You deserved it 3327 29 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, my 5-year-old figured out that if he has a mouthful of milk and he blows really hard, he can blow the milk out of his nose like twin fire hoses. I’ve washed the carpet twice in the past day, and my house still stinks of rotten dairy. FML I agree, your life sucks 1731 You deserved it 212 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mszoe - United States - San Francisco Today, I was checking the family's computer history, and found that "Shrek Porn" had been searched multiple times. FML I agree, your life sucks 33066 You deserved it 3574 117 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By yesguysgetabusedtoo - New Zealand - Papamoa Today, my girlfriend had someone else dump me via text message. I knew it wasn't her because for once I wasn't being viciously insulted, and it wasn't written as if an illiterate baboon had taken a shit all over her keypad. I can't even feel happy about being rid of her. FML I agree, your life sucks 45400 You deserved it 6891 77 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By PeanutlyDisabled - France Today, I was babysitting a new child. I guess she heard me tell her parents about my severe peanut allergy because she got a jar out of the pantry, spread it all over the stairs leading to where her fort was, and walked around with a baseball bat covered in it so I couldn't come near her. FML I agree, your life sucks 39129 You deserved it 3251 169 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Vlen - United States - Phoenix Today, I sleep during the day because I work nights. My neighbors have a very loud wedding and reception in their backyard including a live mariachi band. FML I agree, your life sucks 28805 You deserved it 3406 74 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By LoveMyNewBro Today, my dad told me he had been seeing someone for a while and has decided to marry her. When I met her, her son looked familiar. I lost my virginity to him. FML I agree, your life sucks 49933 You deserved it 5882 98 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By in love with a nerd - United States Lrn 2 Read Today, my boyfriend refuses to talk to me because of a misread text. FML I agree, your life sucks 1431 You deserved it 208 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I went straight from a kickboxing class to a first date. I coughed and a tooth that must have been knocked loose during free sparring fell into my hand, and I got blood on my shirt and the table. My date had a blood phobia and passed out, breaking her own front tooth on the table edge FML I agree, your life sucks 2204 You deserved it 359 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By stoggie96 - United States - Wooster Today, I realized that both my husband and son refer to me as "the bitch." FML I agree, your life sucks 21498 You deserved it 29015 328 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Eleanor - United States - North Grafton Today, my freshman students got in a fist fight over a chair. FML I agree, your life sucks 1551 You deserved it 110 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom Today, I got trapped in an elevator with a chicken. FML I agree, your life sucks 33626 You deserved it 4226 281 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By btg - United States Today, I found out that my girlfriend feeds her boogers to our dog. Sometimes she even makes her do tricks for them. FML I agree, your life sucks 36066 You deserved it 3498 219 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By MLeguillon - United States - Imperial Today, after years of wonderful flying experiences, I boarded a flight and took my seat only to find a baby sitting in front of me, behind me, and to the right of me, and across the aisle from me. All of whom decided to cry in unison. It was a 9-hour flight. FML I agree, your life sucks 52489 You deserved it 4216 135 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Ashley Harn Today, I found out I'm allergic to something in the city water. I've had itchy patches and rashes all over my body, but I can't afford to pay for the filtration system that would solve it. My landlord forbids any modifications to the shower and washing machine. FML I agree, your life sucks 2514 You deserved it 130 16 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Tunkhannock Today, I was working as a nurse, and an elderly man had just passed away. As the patient's wife was leaving she said, "Thank you for taking such good care of my husband." Then I, intending to say "Sorry for your loss," said "Thank you for your loss." FML I agree, your life sucks 52206 You deserved it 9318 74 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By coffee girl - Canada Today, the gift my mother had mailed me for my birthday finally arrived. It was a gift card for Starbucks. A gift card that had already been redeemed. FML I agree, your life sucks 33219 You deserved it 2425 90 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By chels Plebs need not apply. Today, when my new boyfriend told me he liked playing games, he meant a 60" TV with a professional gaming chair in the middle of his living room, and 48-hour gaming marathons where he totally ignores me, refuses to sleep or shower, and only has energy drinks and cheerios. FML I agree, your life sucks 3766 You deserved it 820 34 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By imawesomeokay - Mexico - Zapopan Today, I went to watch a movie. In the middle of it, I accidentally fell asleep. Minutes later, I awoke on a stranger's shoulder. He was caressing my hair. FML I agree, your life sucks 45128 You deserved it 10899 80 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Brittany - United States - Kerrville Today, I failed my driving test. I rammed into the parallel parking poles, ran a stop sign, and stopped at a cross intersection. My instructor called me an idiot. FML I agree, your life sucks 7261 You deserved it 56361 221 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By seeminglyunsexy - United States Today, my wife decided she didn't want to lose weight with me. We were trying to decide on a reward for each pound lost. I suggested sex as the reward. She felt it wasn't fair to punish her just because I lost weight. FML I agree, your life sucks 53633 You deserved it 7944 132 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By heathenhaha - Singapore - Singapore Today, I became the center of attraction of my office floor after sending my resumé to my work Whatsapp group, asking them to share with their friends for job openings. My VP is owner of the group. FML I agree, your life sucks 2666 You deserved it 5767 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
Today, I got my period. I was going to have my first threesome tomorrow. FML I agree, your life sucks 708 You deserved it 312 4 Comments
Today, I was patiently explaining to my boyfriend what I liked in bed, after several weeks of unsatisfactory sex. He snapped at me and said, "80% of women... I agree, your life sucks 1201 You deserved it 108 14 Comments
