By FML - 11/7/2019 17:00 FML Users Rise Up! I agree, your life sucks 807 You deserved it 99 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By beckbr - 2/2/2009 00:51 - United States Today, I asked a little old lady in line at my work why she wasn't out enjoying the beautiful day with all her friends. Her response, "I'd love to, but they're all dead." FML I agree, your life sucks 18038 You deserved it 29266 39 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Sexylarry - 3/9/2010 19:42 - France Today, I was feeling in the mood, so I walked into the kitchen with only my boxers on and asked my girlfriend if she wanted to get in bed. She said, "Okay, but make sure to finish before Gossip Girl starts." FML I agree, your life sucks 30464 You deserved it 8166 129 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ImScrewed - 2/8/2011 17:47 - United States Today, my boss sat me down to discuss the sounds my co-workers have heard coming from my cubicle. Apparently my music sounds like the background tracks from shitty soft-core porn movies. I'm getting a three day suspension while they go through all my files. FML I agree, your life sucks 32117 You deserved it 5219 161 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fuck wannabe knowitalls - 3/6/2013 23:13 - United States Today, I received a death threat from some nutball accusing me of being part of some big government conspiracy called "Haarp." According to this psycho, I'm responsible for causing the recent tornadoes in Oklahoma. I'm just a small-time weatherman. FML I agree, your life sucks 51609 You deserved it 3747 136 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By oops - 27/3/2014 23:10 - United States - San Francisco Today, I wanted to try seducing my boyfriend by having nothing but a t-shirt on for when he'd get back from work. He came home, saw me, apologized bashfully for failing to knock first, and went back outside. FML I agree, your life sucks 48003 You deserved it 7093 228 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By moosemay - 14/1/2016 15:05 - Germany - Dittelbrunn Today, my husband taught our son how to pee while standing. His aim is as poor as my husband's, but I guess now they can blame their mess on each other. FML I agree, your life sucks 22442 You deserved it 1797 59 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By drunk under 18 teenager - 19/8/2014 13:37 - Morocco - Marrakech Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was: if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML I agree, your life sucks 27041 You deserved it 50055 132 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By nyebust - 1/1/2011 05:18 - United States Today, my grandmother drunk dialed me at midnight to wish me a happy new year. I was already in bed. My grandmother has a better social life than I do. FML I agree, your life sucks 30105 You deserved it 8094 51 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By loveless - 24/9/2009 04:30 - United States Today, I surprised my girlfriend with U2 tickets. Still no action. FML I agree, your life sucks 15095 You deserved it 33271 138 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By M to the line - 11/1/2009 03:57 - France Today, I lied and said I was late for work because my car's tire was flat. Two hours later, some of my friends came in and said something along the lines that "We should do brunch every saturday, (like this morning) it was awesome!" in front of my manager. FML I agree, your life sucks 7047 You deserved it 32245 25 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By SakuraBreeze - 26/9/2011 05:18 - United States Today, I was working at my new job at a food court on campus. One of the supervisors came up to my station and told me that I "really look like someone who, through some miracle, accidentally found their way into college." He then threw a pickle at me. FML I agree, your life sucks 26587 You deserved it 2578 94 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fml9124 - 21/12/2019 05:00 New urinal Today, my wife caught our six-year-old son peeing in the bathroom sink. He pulled his little stool up in front, that he uses to brush his teeth, and was peeing in the sink. When we asked why, he said that he wanted to pee like a man, "like we do at football games." My son is using our bathroom sink like a urinal. FML I agree, your life sucks 1675 You deserved it 285 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 30/7/2012 20:02 - Ukraine - Kiev Today, I was walking to the movie theatre with my boyfriend, when three guys muscled over and told us to hand over our phones. My boyfriend didn't waste any time pushing past me and running like hell, leaving me in tears and almost having a panic attack. FML I agree, your life sucks 33997 You deserved it 3038 211 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ANONYMOUS -_- - 15/12/2013 17:18 - United States - Providence Today, I had to go tree shopping with my dad and some of his work buddies. It hit its lowest point when one loudly told us about a crap handjob he got recently. "I mean yeah, choke the cock," he said, "but don't choke it to DEATH, nam'sayin'?" I'd never wanted to just drop dead more. FML I agree, your life sucks 39708 You deserved it 3448 65 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 5/12/2010 08:10 - Canada Today, my girlfriend and I had an argument. She admitted she didn't know why she was pissed at me, but still is, and now she won't talk to me. FML I agree, your life sucks 28399 You deserved it 4136 101 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By me - 12/11/2012 04:30 - United States - Fort Wayne Today, my father told me to take the car and get some groceries. An hour and a half later, coming home with the groceries, I see the cops all around my house because my dad had called them, thinking that I had run away and stolen the car. FML I agree, your life sucks 27974 You deserved it 1711 117 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By allgrowedup - 12/2/2011 03:10 - United States Today, my mom left me at home with a babysitter. I'm 17. FML I agree, your life sucks 41252 You deserved it 5468 163 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Katie - 17/9/2019 12:01 - United States The Bathtub Incident Today, my little sister took a dump in our bath tub right before we were leaving for soccer practice. When my mom found it, she blamed it on me, then made me pick it up with my bare hands. FML I agree, your life sucks 1766 You deserved it 105 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 18/1/2011 14:37 - United States Today, I have a cold and need to blow my nose all the time. The problem is that every time I blow my nose, I get a nosebleed. When I breathe through my mouth, I have a coughing fit. So I have to choose between not breathing, coughing up mucus or blowing blood. FML I agree, your life sucks 32305 You deserved it 3025 87 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Drewski - 22/12/2016 00:11 - United States - Cincinnati Today, I am recovering from my second back surgery. I survived four years in the Army with one combat tour without major injury, only to destroy my back the day after discharge by lifting my mother-in-law's suitcase into the trunk of her car. FML I agree, your life sucks 9103 You deserved it 595 20 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 24/11/2012 13:59 - United States Today, I was playing with my four year old cousin. He had a toy whale and said, "Shark!" I corrected him and told him it was a whale. He picked it up, threw it at my face, and yelled, "SHAAARK!" FML I agree, your life sucks 23374 You deserved it 7822 111 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ohcrap - 8/11/2012 01:41 - United States Today, while I was sitting on the toilet, my toddler swung the door open. We just bought the house, and we have no curtains. Our new neighbor, who I haven't met, was mowing her yard. I stood half-naked to close the door, and our eyes met. I froze. She waved. FML I agree, your life sucks 24809 You deserved it 2552 112 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Roll Tide of Tears - 17/1/2016 03:28 - United States Today, on my college visit, I met a perfect girl for me, sweet, gorgeous, on the same career path. I remember everything we talked about, where she is from, what sport she plays, and her recent internship. But when I went to look her up online, I couldn't remember one thing, her name. FML I agree, your life sucks 24722 You deserved it 5633 74 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By whatisthisidonteven - 23/9/2012 09:23 - Israel - Ramat Gan Today, I was scheduled for an interview at a local firm owned by two partners. The secretary told me to be there at around 12:00 to 12:30 pm, so I arrived at 12:15. The first boss told me off for being early, the other one yelled at me for being late. FML I agree, your life sucks 26842 You deserved it 2597 92 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By liLbob6598 - 10/1/2012 02:34 - United States Today, I received a string of blank texts from an unknown number. When I asked who it was, I got a list of every place I've been over the last three days. I'm scared to leave the house. FML I agree, your life sucks 47847 You deserved it 2620 213 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 20/4/2015 14:45 - United Kingdom - Leicester Today, I had a theatre performance. I had to put on a lot of makeup for the role, and one of the guys said I looked nice. I smiled and said thanks. Seconds later, I'd been sucker-punched by his girlfriend for "flirting" with her man. FML I agree, your life sucks 31251 You deserved it 2210 79 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 18/7/2011 20:21 - Netherlands Today, my boyfriend wanted me to meet the girl he has been cheating on me with. He thinks it makes the cheating more understandable if I see how 'hot' she is. FML I agree, your life sucks 67219 You deserved it 6178 235 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By nope - 29/3/2020 14:00 Influencers know no bounds Today, my wife and I got into a massive argument after she started a YouTube channel for our young daughter. I explained that I’m not comfortable with god knows who looking at our kid. Apparently, I’m just being paranoid. She’s already recorded our entire house, including my daughter's bedroom. FML I agree, your life sucks 2259 You deserved it 138 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 23/7/2019 22:00 Today, I visited with my cousin on her deathbed. When I asked what she was doing, they replied that she was sleeping. Next thing out my mouth without thinking was, "She can sleep when she's dead." FML I agree, your life sucks 567 You deserved it 2233 17 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lifesucks - 24/2/2009 19:21 - United States Today, I walked into work after being completly wasted last night. I was sitting in a meeting when all of a sudden the presenter had gotten an e-mail saying "crazy girl dances on tables at local bar". So obviously everyone wanted to watch it. That crazy girl was me. FML I agree, your life sucks 15902 You deserved it 50050 37 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By JWags - 4/12/2018 05:00 Today, at 30 years old, my wife asked why I'm circumcised when my parents aren't religious. I didn't know I was circumcised. FML I agree, your life sucks 3359 You deserved it 1440 29 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By KereKris - 17/6/2020 14:05 Hi how are you? Today, I texted my boss, "I'm looking forward to doing you" instead of, "I'm looking forward to seeing you" thanks to a very unfortunate combination of my atrocious typing skills on a smartphone and an overzealous autocorrect function. FML I agree, your life sucks 1167 You deserved it 377 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Marcipaud - 5/5/2016 17:51 - United States - Detroit Today, I opened up an English textbook to find someone else's dirty fingernails between the pages. FML I agree, your life sucks 12496 You deserved it 972 15 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By GodMemory_AbsentMind - 21/3/2017 18:00 Today, when paying for gas, I realized I'd forgotten my wallet back home. After a moment of panic, I managed to remember my card number. I paid, blowing the cute cashier's mind, and drove away, before my car started sputtering and slowed to a crawl. I'd used the wrong fuel. FML I agree, your life sucks 3525 You deserved it 4912 18 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By well then... - 15/6/2013 05:04 - Canada - London Today, as I was crossing to the US, I got pulled over by border patrol for looking "suspicious". The female cop searched my purse and found a condom. She smirked and said, "I doubt you'd ever need that." FML I agree, your life sucks 52285 You deserved it 4737 90 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Widowmaker - 28/11/2012 18:09 - United States - Henderson Today, I'm recovering in the emergency room. How did I get here? Intoxicated at a coed party, I saw a hole in the host's shed and thought it funny to christen it a "glory-hole", only to be bitten by what may well have been a black widow spider. FML I agree, your life sucks 7657 You deserved it 48410 181 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By what did i marry - 25/5/2018 12:00 - United States - Memphis Today, I had to explain to my husband that the Earth is not flat. He didn’t believe me. FML I agree, your life sucks 3741 You deserved it 550 27 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By luni - 26/6/2011 21:17 - United Kingdom Today, when my boyfriend said it was time to play with his baby, I figured he was talking about me. He meant his Xbox. FML I agree, your life sucks 37734 You deserved it 8852 282 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By blondessdoll - 4/5/2016 17:30 - United States Today, when getting my eyebrows waxed, the lady cursed "oh shit!" under her breath, right after waxing half of my brow off. FML I agree, your life sucks 13701 You deserved it 1087 25 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 29/11/2009 16:57 - United States Today, my ceiling fan was rocking violently so I turned it off. I stood under it trying to figure out what the problem is, it fell on my face. FML I agree, your life sucks 36450 You deserved it 13085 96 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
Today, I'm horny all the time, but my endurance in the sack is horrible. Why me? FML I agree, your life sucks 573 You deserved it 169 7 Comments
Today, I have an incredibly high sex drive. My boyfriend doesn't. He made me throw away my, rarely used, sex toys because he's jealous of them. I wouldn't... I agree, your life sucks 1098 You deserved it 173 13 Comments
