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FML Semi-Weekly Update #3

Get the scoop on what's what at FML including the latest tech update from Fleox!
By Alan / Monday 27 March 2017 11:45 /

Hello my dear FMLers,

Last week, this section went out the door because I was sick. Yes, it happens, even to me. A good sore throat and bam, I'm stuck at home in front of Grey's Anatomy reruns. How unprofessional. I'll stop crying and carry on.

I have already introduced the staff that manages FML, so no need to re-list everything. There will be some departures soon, because Camille goes back to her studies, but we can celebrate keeping Aude, who will stay with us thanks to good work and a good attitude that's frankly quite the ray of sunshine every morning. Yes Aude, it's a kind of public statement. Your red pandas inspire grand declarative gestures.

What's up with red pandas? All will be revealed soon!

The others stay close, even Quentin, though we still don't know exactly what he's doing. He's a real shit, but we like him.

What's new, FML?

Stuff that you may have noticed: we're trying to provide you with funny FML-oriented videos thanks to the golden work of our friend Louis. Only my affirmed heterosexuality prevents me from asking his hand in marriage. He's that good. There have been some accusations of recycling video gags, but we are only at the beginning of FML videos. Speaking of genres, we plan to classify them each day in different types. You'll see the weekly symmetry of the content (FML Approved, the Showdowns, the sayings...). As for the content, we go in search of new videos to avoid the "REPOST" crowd, but like everything that is posted on the internet, there will always be someone who has "seent it" before and wants everyone else to know. Indulge us, please. We're getting better! Anyway, we'll give you a rendez-vous for daily videos. I can't promise an exact hour, but it will be at the end of each afternoon, roughly speaking.

On the technical side, what's going on?

I'll leave it to Fleox, who wrote this on Friday, March 24 at 11pm on a train platform after two hours of crashes on the site:

 

I won't beat around the bush today. There are a few things driving me crazy! Let's start with the most serious: TV brietz stopped broadcasting Columbo on Saturday night! Now, on Saturday night in front of Columbo with my Monaco (when there are no bugs, which is rather rare at the moment) it's my little "me time". I say little because it takes me no more than 15 minutes to fall asleep, but since we know the killer from the start, I miss nothing (wink face). In short, it's insomnia with lines of codes scrolling by in my head (snif).

A good Columbo is good, a site that works is better

Next, let's talk about the problem: Redis (not a special radish, but the cache system). It's my enemy of the week and yours too, because that little ****** (censored by Alan) decides in one fell swoop not to return the data to display the beautiful pages of your site. Because Master Redis finds there's too much work and that he's receiving too many requests... Like, seriously? That's his job as this ******* (still censored by Alan) software!

Oof, I feel better now

It feels good to share some of my miseries with you. As you've probably understood by now, this was our problem on Friday night and I hope you'll excuse me. After a tough exchange with Redis and the hiring of some new servers (yes, I know it's miserable but I had to cede to the vindications of the software under the pressure of the company) the situation is newly in order (well, until the next strike). I would like to take this opportunity to thank Maxime for his valuable assistance during the negotiations with the machines.

And the slave (pardon, the trainee), what's he up to?

First, it's time for me to give you his first name: Philip (yes with a p and yes, he's keeping it). Personally, I call him Padawan even if I should call him Why. Why? Because he never stops asking why! And why this and why that? I can't take it anymore. Even my own children don't ask me so many questions. But still, he's progressing and will soon stop forgetting to put sugar in my coffee. Don't be too hard on him, I know. It's not easy for me but I mustn't forget that he's a trainee and that he's learning).

So what are you doing these days?

I start my ritual "TV morning" with my coffee and my pastry (store-bought jumbo pack, of course). A quick glance at my emails, a glance at the stats of the day before, a quick pee (I mean, come on, it's an hour-long commute) and off to work. It's pretty simple: I do a lot of things each day, but never what I had planned to do. So my list is lengthening and panic is taking over. Besides that, I have Why who keeps asking questions but gives to Julius what belongs to Caesar. I must admit, he is certainly gifted in something, and that would be choosing the worst possible moment to ask.

Top Chef

The road is still long but as you can see, I'm strong. Ok, I take some meds to stay standing but I can see the end of the tunnel (so so far away, the tiniest point of light). With the team, I continue to perfect the recipe for a great FML that you taste test every day with sometimes a little rejection for lack of seasoning. We're putting in a lot of energy to regain our star in the review books and we know it will take time for our clientele to adapt to the new menu.

I haven't censored anything! Censorship ain't my style. Except for hateful comments under our precious FMLs. In any case, that's what he wrote, and it fits in with what I said just now. We're continually tweaking things and progressing. We bring in new blood and I personally try to impose my charming British humor, but it's not always obvious (or well-received)!

Other business

We're continuing with the weekly posts that you've already seen, like the quiz to fill in the rest of the FMLs, the thematic selection of the week, your top comments, etc. It's a whole range of fun simple things to help you relax in the tub and read without disruption (not as effective in the shower - 5/7 would not recommend).

Hugs and kisses! I must return to the moderation of FMLs and comments from my favorite trolls :)

Alan, Miracle Max of FML

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