By FML FML in a nutshell. I agree, your life sucks 763 You deserved it 101 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Norwich Today, I found a baby squirrel on the pavement and thought I'd try and rescue it. While I googled what to do, it started running around. I tried to grab it, but it ran straight into the path of a car. FML I agree, your life sucks 22326 You deserved it 4013 51 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my boyfriend picked me up bridal-style to carry me to our bed. As he carried me through the bedroom door, the dog ran between his legs and sent us both crashing to the ground. FML I agree, your life sucks 27352 You deserved it 3585 92 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 22/4/2020 14:03 Almost there Today, I discovered that my contract start date is exactly 2 days outside of the furlough date. Meaning instead of taking 80% of my salary, I'm only getting 40% (thanks to the company). This would be fine if I hadn't just moved countries to get this job. FML I agree, your life sucks 1454 You deserved it 128 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Nic - United States Today, I put on some skimpy shorts and bent down to get something on the bottom shelf of the fridge to get my boyfriend's attention. On my way up, I slammed my head on the edge of the fridge. FML I agree, your life sucks 14735 You deserved it 45574 298 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By kindergarten teacher - United States - Hanford Today, I was feeling sick and fainted while teaching my kindergarten class. I came to when one boy poured a cup of water on my face. Three kids were crying into my walkie talkie telling the office I was dead, and the rest of the class had disappeared. FML I agree, your life sucks 49326 You deserved it 3659 121 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Eh.. - Israel Today I learned that just because the cute barista at the train station smiles at smiles, waves at me each time I arrive, and develops small talk probably means she's trying to sell me pastries. The smile she had when I asked for her number and she said "nah" still haunts me. FML I agree, your life sucks 2218 You deserved it 1299 21 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom Today, the guy I like recommended I buy this computer game. Wanting to impress him, I agreed. Turns out it was a joke. I am now the proud owner of Microsoft Train Simulator 2005, and he can't stop laughing. FML I agree, your life sucks 10627 You deserved it 37177 154 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By wtf - United Kingdom Today, my parents staged a family intervention and gave me the grandest bollocking I've ever experienced in all my 22 years of life. They did this because my sister showed them a photo of me jokingly posing with three bottles of Bud Light at a party. Apparently, I'm an alcoholic in denial. FML I agree, your life sucks 28952 You deserved it 4916 196 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada - Toronto Today, after having been constipated for ages, I finally forced out a week's worth of build-up. The excruciating pain reduced me to tears, and my boyfriend refused to drive me to the hospital, because according to him, I must have had anal sex with someone. FML I agree, your life sucks 32663 You deserved it 2976 227 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Coquette - United States Today, I realized just how awful my relationships have been when I discovered I emotionally connect with women on Jerry Springer. FML I agree, your life sucks 21880 You deserved it 5732 100 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By coffee - United States Today, after my coworker bought coffee for me for the fifth time, I thanked him and asked him why. Apparently it's the only way to get me to shut up in the morning so he can get work done. FML I agree, your life sucks 13013 You deserved it 36966 58 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Brooklyn Today, after two weeks of not having sex, my pregnant girlfriend and I finally fooled around. This was immediately followed by her bursting into tears and begging me to make her a ham steak. FML I agree, your life sucks 44050 You deserved it 9850 179 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Lifeguard - United States Today, I was fired because a patron complained that she didn't like the way I kept staring at her kids. I was a lifeguard. FML I agree, your life sucks 92286 You deserved it 4474 113 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By thisreallysucks2 - United States Today, I texted my boyfriend to see if he wanted to finally have sex today. His response was "Can't, Platinum just came out." I didn't know what that meant so I searched "Platinum 3-22-2009" on Google. I found out he's talking about a new Pokémon game. FML I agree, your life sucks 128413 You deserved it 24296 483 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 13/4/2020 08:00 No one likes a smart-ass Today, I accidentally stumbled on a method of getting my job done in about a third of the time, so my boss made it mandatory for all employees. Unfortunately, my coworkers now can't slack off pretending jobs take 2-3 hours, and their constant petty revenge bullying is driving me mad. FML I agree, your life sucks 1929 You deserved it 739 14 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By DHarman - United Kingdom Today, my girlfriend actually walked into a door and gave herself a black eye. She's too embarrassed to admit it, so she's telling everyone I beat her. FML I agree, your life sucks 63493 You deserved it 4016 124 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Alex - United States - Elizabethtown Today, my fiancée woke up from a nightmare where I cheated on her. She has so far successfully gotten into my personal and work e-mails, and all my social media. I'm not sure if I'm worse at picking a wife or at picking passwords. FML I agree, your life sucks 21991 You deserved it 2945 125 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Username Today, my ex-girlfriend moved out. I came back to a sparsely furnished home, she even took the shower head, my beard trimmer, and the soap from the bathroom. FML I agree, your life sucks 36986 You deserved it 5630 121 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By browniepoints - United States Today, it dawned on me that the most romantic thing my husband has done in the last three years, was a put a wedding ring on his xbox avatar. FML I agree, your life sucks 29023 You deserved it 3505 40 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - American Canyon Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML I agree, your life sucks 40573 You deserved it 7363 151 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By millzee - United States Today, I spent 6 hours on an airplane next to an alcoholic Pink Floyd fanatic. I must've drifted off because when I took a trip to the bathroom I noticed that my pant leg that had been closest to the drunk man was soaking wet. I returned to my seat. He was on his side, facing me. I smelt the wet spot. Not beer. FML I agree, your life sucks 24172 You deserved it 1948 47 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By dumb mother - United States Today, my mother yelled at me for standing too close to the microwave. Her reason? The radiation was going to seep through, kill my sperm and cause cancer. FML I agree, your life sucks 24928 You deserved it 5048 194 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ihateseagulls - United States Today, while at the beach, my little sister thought it would be cute to feed a small seagull some of her food. Minutes later a flock of seagulls swarmed and attacked me and my sandwich. FML I agree, your life sucks 28569 You deserved it 4094 119 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Amanda Ross - United States Today, I went to school in my brand new shirt. It was loose fitting and a bit thin, so I wore a sweatshirt on top, intending to take it in once inside. When I got to my seat, I took off my sweatshirt, but also took off my shirt with it, flashing my whole class. FML I agree, your life sucks 31637 You deserved it 11784 206 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By dancer_2014 - United States Today, I was on my first blind date. We went to a fancy restaurant in the middle in the city. After using the bathroom, I came back to an empty table. He stole my purse and left. FML I agree, your life sucks 42122 You deserved it 16273 182 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Danno - United States Today, I was playing GTA4 and went on its fake dating site to email a girl to go on a date with. I've never had much luck with dating in real life, so I figured the game would be more kind to me. After a while I went back to check my email, and the fake girl I'd propositioned told me to get lost. FML I agree, your life sucks 24798 You deserved it 7362 52 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sigh - United States - Frederick Today, I was cleaning up litter from the street, when a guy asked who I work for. I said nobody and that I was just doing some community service. Before I could clarify that it was voluntary community service, he called me a "piece of shit delinquent", spat on me, and walked off. FML I agree, your life sucks 44936 You deserved it 3308 84 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Millar - Australia - Carlton North Today, I witnessed a postal worker with an important parcel stopping before knocking on my door, shrugging, getting back in his van, and driving away. I couldn't get the door open quickly enough before he left. FML I agree, your life sucks 2795 You deserved it 160 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By kat124ever - United States - Apo Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm too "high maintenance". And that's because I ask him to use condoms when we have sex, and I refuse to invite my friends over for threesomes. I don't know why I'm not actually glad we are broken up. FML I agree, your life sucks 32608 You deserved it 5930 126 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my family and I went Christmas tree shopping. My husband and I were walking around when I saw the perfect tree. Excited, we immediately bought it. When we got home and set it up, I realized it came with a present: termites. FML I agree, your life sucks 33208 You deserved it 5015 126 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By dragynfyre - United States Today, my boss called me out for a drug test. His reason was because my eyes are puffy and bloodshot, making me look high. I've been suffering from allergies all week, but still had to pee in a cup in front of a complete stranger. FML I agree, your life sucks 25774 You deserved it 2114 85 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 2/4/2020 02:00 How d'you think? Today, I announced my pregnancy to my boss. I was expecting all sorts of reactions, except, "But... Erm... How did that happen?" FML I agree, your life sucks 1524 You deserved it 156 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, after spending 12 hours desperately searching everywhere I could think of, I'm forced to admit I left my wedding ring in the bathroom of the hotel suite we just spent our honeymoon in, on the literal other side of the planet. I am a dead man. FML I agree, your life sucks 4155 You deserved it 1337 23 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By emily - United States Today, I was video chatting with my boyfriend of two years. He asked me to turn off my webcam. I asked why, and he said to just trust him. Turns out it was because he didn't want to see my face as he broke up with me. FML I agree, your life sucks 46703 You deserved it 3196 141 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, it's my birthday, I received two cards, one from my mum and one from my son, that my mum gave to him to give to me. My entire family said they couldn't be bothered going out for dinner for my birthday. My two 'friends' didn't even send a card, never mind a gift or want to meet up. FML I agree, your life sucks 2012 You deserved it 207 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By shtidsfpa - United States - Shelby Today, I only just found out that the abbreviation "lbs" is actually short for pounds. I've been saying "labs" my entire life. I'm 21. FML I agree, your life sucks 27302 You deserved it 55705 194 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By WickedRene - United States - Rochester Today, I was watching my 3 year old brother. He asked me to get him a cookie and I said, "What's the magic word?" He looked at me angrily and said "Bitch, please." FML I agree, your life sucks 48824 You deserved it 8189 111 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By simon - Canada Today, I moved into university residence, looking forward to finally being able to come out of the closet. I started chatting with the hot guy moving in next door to me. He said I was cool, and he was glad because he was afraid he'd be living next to a gay guy. FML I agree, your life sucks 56054 You deserved it 11168 22 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By LarissaT18 - United States - Reynoldsburg Today, the highlight of my day was when I figured out that my little brother's toy dump truck could actually dump stuff out. I'm 18. FML I agree, your life sucks 39502 You deserved it 7698 82 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Hailey - United States Today, I took sexy pictures for my boyfriend. I am at my Aunt's house. I uploaded the pictures and after successfully posting them in a message I deleted them. I accidentally deleted the whole photo library. Now she is taking the computer to Apple tomorrow to recover the "lost" photos. FML I agree, your life sucks 11336 You deserved it 57707 143 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By FtheHumanity | 17 #7820547 - Saturday 13 July 2019 2:31 It me! 100! Send a private message 0 0 Reply
By FtheHumanity | 17 #7820547 - Saturday 13 July 2019 2:31 It me! 100! Send a private message 0 0 Reply
Today, I got my period. I was going to have my first threesome tomorrow. FML I agree, your life sucks 732 You deserved it 327 4 Comments
Today, I was patiently explaining to my boyfriend what I liked in bed, after several weeks of unsatisfactory sex. He snapped at me and said, "80% of women... I agree, your life sucks 1220 You deserved it 108 14 Comments
