By FML - 12/7/2019 17:10 FML in a nutshell. I agree, your life sucks 740 You deserved it 99 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Juancames3 - 23/5/2018 01:30 Saboteur! Today, after spending all night packing for my 5am flight to Brazil, my cat peed all over my open suitcase. FML I agree, your life sucks 3575 You deserved it 684 21 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Maxx - 7/3/2010 03:56 - United States Today, I was so bored at work that I put a zip tie on my finger just for the excitement of trying to get it off. FML I agree, your life sucks 9592 You deserved it 22186 124 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fishoutofwater - 3/12/2015 04:22 - United States - Radcliff Today, in an attempt to broaden my horizons in another sport besides swimming, I succeeded in getting a frisbee spiked into my face. FML I agree, your life sucks 16809 You deserved it 1525 49 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By WinnerWinnerNotEatingDinner - 16/11/2015 06:44 - United States - Arlington Effective Today, I was the first guy ever to give my girlfriend an orgasm. I was also the first guy to make her poop at the same time. FML I agree, your life sucks 34001 You deserved it 3444 154 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Hurtingincanada - 17/10/2018 05:00 Today, I woke up with bronchitis and hemorrhoids. I'm getting married in 3 days. FML I agree, your life sucks 3006 You deserved it 174 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By branwen5 - 9/10/2009 02:26 - United States Today, I had my final divorce proceeding. The judge denied my divorce because my husband is unemployed. I can't get a divorce until he gets a job to pay child support. He hasn't had a job for 3 years. FML I agree, your life sucks 44565 You deserved it 3814 125 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 26/7/2014 15:50 - United States Today, I went to the mall. A little girl was walking around and telling everyone that they were pretty. When she got to me, she gave me a disgusted look and walked away. FML I agree, your life sucks 49424 You deserved it 4974 75 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By AnnoyedByFriends - 8/8/2013 04:43 Today, my friends thought it would be fun to change my dad's name on my phone to my girlfriend's name. Guess who got an erotic text message when standing next to me while in the line to buy groceries. FML I agree, your life sucks 52614 You deserved it 9653 130 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ohcollege - 1/10/2010 10:04 - United States Today, the rain was pouring really hard outside. I found this out when it started raining on me at 4 am inside my dorm room. Thanks college. FML I agree, your life sucks 28244 You deserved it 2490 38 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Holly - 29/8/2012 04:59 - United States - Colorado Springs Today, I had to wait in a hospital room because I cut myself with a knife while trying to open a box of soda. After three stitches, I went home only to notice the box has an easy-open tab. FML I agree, your life sucks 9287 You deserved it 31585 76 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By tlm84 - 28/7/2014 02:54 - United States - Fitchburg Today, while out shopping, I could hear what sounded like two grown men talking about me, and they were being pretty gross. I turned around to scold them and it turned out being a dad and his 13-year-old son. He said he was, "teaching a son to be a man, and that my ass was grounds for discussion." FML I agree, your life sucks 45464 You deserved it 5034 75 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sma93 - 17/12/2016 18:30 - United States - Baldwin Today, after my work's Christmas party, everyone got so drunk that I had to help one of my only sober co-workers take everyone home and clean up vomit. FML I agree, your life sucks 7616 You deserved it 571 20 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By hold your horses pony boy - 18/4/2014 18:24 - United States Today, I took my car into a car wash. I guess it was a bad idea to do it with my dog in the car, because he freaked out, started scrambling around, and ended up pissing on everything, me included. FML I agree, your life sucks 39122 You deserved it 13631 63 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Brie - 5/9/2011 13:00 - United States Today, my grandmother pulled down her pants and screamed, "Kiss my ass" in the middle of a packed restaurant. FML I agree, your life sucks 35015 You deserved it 3173 167 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By heallven - 31/1/2013 12:26 - France - Ostricourt Today, my loyalty and regularity at my local pizza place were noticed. The delivery guy, when bringing yet another order, asked me if the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were living with me. FML I agree, your life sucks 32472 You deserved it 11399 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By badsister - 10/1/2010 15:37 - United States Today, I made a batch of "special" brownies for a party I was going to tonight. I wrapped them up and put them on the counter with a note that said DO NOT EAT. Later on I came home from some errands to find a tray of half eaten brownies and my ten year old sister passed out on the couch. FML I agree, your life sucks 14105 You deserved it 59281 421 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Lo_Bolian - 25/4/2009 03:10 - United States Today, I was taking the bus home. A dirty homeless man boarded the bus, put his bag on the overhead rack, and sat down. His bag was leaking and dripped onto my shoulder. I asked the man what it was. He said, "Roadkill." I now have dead animal blood on my best business suit. FML I agree, your life sucks 56537 You deserved it 3365 90 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sk8rgurl - 28/6/2009 23:09 - United States Today, I was testing for figure skating. I was wearing a brand new custom dress that was a halter top. On my first move, I tripped and fell flat on my face. Immediately after retaking the move, my dress snapped open, exposing myself to the judges. FML I agree, your life sucks 50239 You deserved it 5516 113 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By notyourfriend - 9/9/2014 01:26 - Canada - Peterborough Today, my horrible boss sent me a Facebook friend request for the fifth time, in her attempt to not only bother me at work, but also through social media. FML I agree, your life sucks 37293 You deserved it 3435 106 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 9/7/2014 20:49 - United States Today, my road rage got so out of hand that I'm now actually inclined to honk obnoxiously at my computer when it's being slow. FML I agree, your life sucks 32775 You deserved it 17139 76 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 20/6/2012 05:22 - United States - Tucson Today, I bought some beef jerky. As I put the first piece in my mouth, I thought to myself, "Wow, this is tough enough to break a tooth." It was. FML I agree, your life sucks 26908 You deserved it 3516 90 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By WhyIHateTeachers - 25/6/2015 03:49 - United States - Ormond Beach Today, I submitted a poem for my English class. I had fun writing it, so I wrote a second which was not nearly as good. My procrastinator of a friend never did his, so I gave him my extra poem. Mine was given a 75% while "his" received a 93%. FML I agree, your life sucks 25077 You deserved it 9095 80 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mom - 26/1/2014 04:29 - United States - Spring Today, while driving home, my 3-year-old daughter told me she had to poop. I told her that she would have to wait until we got home. When we got home, she pulled down her pants and shat on the floor, because, "I'm home now." FML I agree, your life sucks 49825 You deserved it 10082 102 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By TheSentinel05 - 8/7/2020 05:00 You should know! Today, my mom screamed at me for not cleaning out the coffee machine. When I told her that wasn’t part of my chores and she never asked me to do it, she screamed at me for not doing it out of the kindness of my heart. FML I agree, your life sucks 1389 You deserved it 348 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Whatdididowrong? - 10/5/2011 05:18 Today, my 12 year old son came home from school and informed me that he bought an air guitar for $20. He honestly thinks this is a good price. FML I agree, your life sucks 39232 You deserved it 12323 261 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 18/8/2013 20:13 - Germany - Koblenz Today, after an argument with my wife, I stormed out of our bedroom through the sliding doors to the balcony. Only there was no balcony, because it still hasn't been replaced yet. I'm now laid-up in hospital. FML I agree, your life sucks 43018 You deserved it 16844 99 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Depressed - 4/8/2011 11:45 - Sudan Today, I arrived in Africa to start my new job. I agreed to come to a city with little to no electricity, and poor water for triple the money I was making in Canada. I just realized my boss and I negotiated in two completely different currencies, and I'm now making half of what I used to. FML I agree, your life sucks 26223 You deserved it 40795 187 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Bonngoo - 17/11/2016 18:17 - United States Today, at school, we were supposed to say something that we are thankful for. When I was about to speak, one of the girls at my table said, "It's okay, you can say PornHub." FML I agree, your life sucks 10158 You deserved it 1195 38 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 8/8/2009 19:01 - United States Today, at my wedding reception, my father began his speech with "Well, I never, ever thought that this day would come," at which point the entire room, including my new husband, broke into a round of enthusiastic applause. FML I agree, your life sucks 43375 You deserved it 4686 92 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 7/5/2011 05:58 - Canada Today, at 2 in the morning, my water broke. I called my mom and woke her up to come watch our older kid, while my husband and I went to the hospital. After being tested at the hospital, I was told I had just peed myself. FML I agree, your life sucks 46910 You deserved it 8946 160 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 20/2/2017 17:00 - United States - Charles City A Natural Snack! Today, my husband argued with me for an hour, because he believed that loaded potato skins grow naturally on a tree. FML I agree, your life sucks 6768 You deserved it 771 19 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Eringobrag88 - 27/6/2011 16:08 - United States Today, I woke up to my two year old crawling in bed with me and saying, "I poop". Normally this would be ok, but this morning she decided she didn't need a diaper. FML I agree, your life sucks 33152 You deserved it 3982 124 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lauren - 8/7/2010 04:51 - United States Today, I discovered that my cleaning lady steals valuables from me, and covered it up by saying that "the vacuum must've eaten it." FML I agree, your life sucks 39963 You deserved it 7069 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By nja - 12/7/2020 23:01 Socializing Today, it's the first day in 14 weeks I've got dressed up and gone out anywhere other than to go food shopping. Shame it’s to attend a funeral. FML I agree, your life sucks 1422 You deserved it 107 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 18/1/2014 19:49 - Canada - Ottawa Today, at work, a kid rushed into the bathroom to vomit. Understandable, except he threw up into the sinks. Sinks plural, whose drain holes are so small that only liquid can really pass through. Guess who had to clean up vomit chunks. FML I agree, your life sucks 47361 You deserved it 3801 66 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 9/9/2018 14:30 Today, based on recent x-rays, I have the right knee of a 60-year-old, the left knee of a 70-year-old, and the right hip joint of a 100-year-old who's been dead for 15 years. I'm only 19 years old and my doctor says I'm gonna need two walking sticks by the time I'm 25. FML I agree, your life sucks 3310 You deserved it 150 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By rainydays79 - 23/1/2010 19:12 - United States Today, I realized that I am the only one among my group of friends who names their bowel movements. FML I agree, your life sucks 5412 You deserved it 59816 218 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Blondie - 5/5/2011 20:01 - Lebanon Today, I was trying to convince a friend that even though I'm blonde, I'm not the oblivious or stupid moron everyone apparently thinks I am. Then I smacked face-first into a glass door. FML I agree, your life sucks 27992 You deserved it 31541 222 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 15/11/2010 09:35 - United States Today, a guy at work was ranking the girls we work with in the order he'd want to date them. He told me I was 6th "because personality is important, too." FML I agree, your life sucks 29986 You deserved it 5389 80 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By obese_chicken - 6/11/2009 06:59 - Australia Today, I went out to celebrate my birthday with a big group of friends. After waiting in line to get into a club, the bouncer looked me up and down and said, "No fat chicks." My friends went into the club without me and left me to take a $100 taxi home alone. FML I agree, your life sucks 44881 You deserved it 8281 252 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By FtheHumanity | 17 #7820547 - Saturday 13 July 2019 2:31 It me! 100! Send a private message 0 0 Reply
By FtheHumanity | 17 #7820547 - Saturday 13 July 2019 2:31 It me! 100! Send a private message 0 0 Reply
Today, my husband refuses to have sex with me, ever since I told him I wanted to try for a baby. When I asked him why, he said it was because he likes... I agree, your life sucks 696 You deserved it 893 12 Comments
Today, my man complained that I was "not easily approachable", sexually speaking. To clarify, his usual way of signalling his desire is to just lie there,... I agree, your life sucks 997 You deserved it 118 2 Comments
