FML : Bigfoot Porn Is Now A Controversial Topic In A Virginia Election.. And We Aren't At All Kidding

Bigfoot Porn Is Now A Controversial Topic In A Virginia Election.. And We Aren't At All Kidding

By nadine / mardi 31 juillet 2018 10:00

Anything goes, really, in 2018. What a time to be alive.

We're going to skip the politics and give you the straight facts, which are downright hilarious, in this case. According to The Huffington Post, Democratic candidate in the U.S. House race in Virginia Leslie Cockburn has accused her Republican rival Denver Riggleman of getting his rocks off to Bigfoot erotica.

Yes. Bigfoot erotica. It's worth saying twice. And it's actually not satire.

My opponent Denver Riggleman, running mate of Corey Stewart, was caught on camera campaigning with a white supremacist. Now he has been exposed as a devotee of Bigfoot erotica. This is not what we need on Capitol Hill. pic.twitter.com/0eBvxFd6sG
— Leslie Cockburn (@LeslieCockburn) July 29, 2018

And here she is, accusing him again:

From my opponent Denver Riggleman’s Bigfoot erotica collection. pic.twitter.com/ELe0TWJh21
— Leslie Cockburn (@LeslieCockburn) July 29, 2018

And of course, whatever happened after that is irrelivant because hello this lady just accused her opponent of jackin' the beanstalk to Bigfoot! And, as you probably guessed, the internet had a few things to say about that.

I leave the internet for a few hours, come back to find out...

1. There's a non-cartoon person going around being named Denver Riggleman
2. He's running for office.
3. He is a white supremacist.
4. Who is into Bigfoot erotica.

This would have been super weird a few years ago.
— Robyn Pennacchia (@RobynElyse) July 30, 2018

Bigfoot Erotica was the plot twist 2018 didn’t know it needed.
— Jennifer Mendelsohn 🇺🇸 (@CleverTitleTK) July 30, 2018

i saw bigfoot was trending and got really excited (huge bigfoot guy) and then realized it's because someone running for congress is into BIGFOOT EROTICA. what fucking planet am i on
— ryan (@ryanyeetz) July 30, 2018

Bigfoot porn being an actual topic of political discussion is my absolute favorite thing to happen in 2018. This is amazing.
— Cassandra Fairbanks (@CassandraRules) July 30, 2018

dear @LeslieCockburn please stick to discussing an opponents scoundrel character. there is PLENTY wrong with DENBER WIGGLEMAN, but there is nothing wrong with getting hard for bigfoot or having other preferred pound that may seem unique. please prove love and reconsider this way pic.twitter.com/i8i0hCByZx
— Chuck Tingle (@ChuckTingle) July 30, 2018

Politics sure have changed.

FMLNews

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By real life problems | 26

#7669529 - Tuesday 31 July 2018 22:02

I dont want to live on this planet anymore..

By boopingsnoot | 23

#7669548 - Tuesday 31 July 2018 22:47

Most people are missing the bigger picture: all the Bigfoot shit is 100% true, BUT the actually IMPORTANT part is that Denver Riggleman is a WHITE SUPREMACIST.

(And yes, that IS his real name.)

Comments

By real life problems | 26

#7669529 - Tuesday 31 July 2018 22:02

I dont want to live on this planet anymore..

pjsr | 31

#7670000 - Wednesday 1 August 2018 17:52

Not even in a remote area of the northwest where bigfoot is rumored to dwell?

By pscool | 8

#7669530 - Tuesday 31 July 2018 22:06

Only in Virginia! Everyone in West Virginia is like few wasn’t us this time!

By Glowworm56 | 25

#7669543 - Tuesday 31 July 2018 22:42

Chuck Tingle's response is my absolute favorite.

By boopingsnoot | 23

#7669548 - Tuesday 31 July 2018 22:47

Most people are missing the bigger picture: all the Bigfoot shit is 100% true, BUT the actually IMPORTANT part is that Denver Riggleman is a WHITE SUPREMACIST.

(And yes, that IS his real name.)

Lyshan | 8

#7670592 - Thursday 2 August 2018 16:45

Well, for someone from a country without english as main language, like me, Leslie Cockburn sounds way funnier than Denver Riggleman.

By Davros | 12

#7669602 - Wednesday 1 August 2018 0:16

Its not Bigfoot he likes, it's "big feet" as in Deuce Bigalow Male Gigalo.

By Charlie Given | 18

#7669667 - Wednesday 1 August 2018 3:36

Well if they call gays that like hairy men bear lovers what the hell do ya call guys who like bigfoots, Sasquatcher's 😂🤣🤣

By Lalala579121 | 27

#7669759 - Wednesday 1 August 2018 10:49

I am disappointed that nobody is pointing out how her last name is "cockburn".

Alup132 | 19

#7670287 - Thursday 2 August 2018 4:38

I was thinking the same!

Alup132 | 19

#7670288 - Thursday 2 August 2018 4:39

I was thinking the same!

By Misoranomegami | 16

#7669927 - Wednesday 1 August 2018 14:49

It's worse than it even sounds. From what I've read, the candidate is neither a conuissiur nor a purveyor of big foot erotica. The former would be an amusing but harmless kink. The latter could be a simple financial transaction. Oh no. Instead he's written a serious scientific publication on bigfoot breeding habits. Which tells me all I need to know about his education, his knowledge of science and his own opinion on himself and the world.

Do you want someone writing laws who not only believes in multiple big feet but feels he knows enough about them to educate others on the subject?

Nadine | 20

#7670401 - Thursday 2 August 2018 10:39

true true but also HE'S A WHITE SUPREMACIST so that's kinda what did it for me

By DragonMaiden7 | 15

#7670101 - Wednesday 1 August 2018 20:33

So we’re just going to skip over the fact that these two politician’s have the names Wiggleman and Cockburn? Really?

You don’t have to dig through their closets. There is enough ammunition right there