- FML

By FML Approved - France - Paris

I agree, your life sucks

1846

You deserved it

182

Favorite

EXPLAIN YOURSELF!

Heartless

On a leash

By armybrat - United States

Today, I decided to take a nap while babysitting my neighbors kids for the day. I was woken up by this obnoxious sound, only to find the youngest kid holding scissors in one hand, a pony tail of hair in his shorts jumping around like a horse, oh, and a bald spot on the back of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21482

You deserved it

59748

Favorite

By spaaaarta

Today, I was washing my car, I decided to be kind and to wash my elderly neighbor's car. As it turns out, her sunroof was open. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8664

You deserved it

12409

Favorite

By bastardddd - United States

Today, I was in class finishing up an assignment when the guy next to me, my crush, said "I really love your hair." I started to blush then I turned towards him and said thanks, at the same time as the girl he was actually talking to. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48352

You deserved it

6360

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend proposed. Three hours later, he called me to tell me he was kidding. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43150

You deserved it

2563

Favorite

By nothisfault - France

Today, and as for the rest of my life, I will always have a husband whose breath stinks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18849

You deserved it

29296

Favorite

By whyme - United States

Today, my friend and I were eating in my car in a McDonald's parking lot, when an angry, drunk man stumbled out of the restaurant and into his car. He then hit the McDonald's wall, turned around and sped straight into my car. I only bought it a week ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16667

You deserved it

1256

Favorite

By anahira6 - United States - Houston

Cheating cheater

Today, my boss's son is training to take over my job as head translator, after having convinced his dad that he's fluent in Spanish, and that my skills suck. I soon walked in on him using Google Translate on a legal document. My boss refuses to believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49586

You deserved it

3019

Favorite

By Lara - Italy - Empoli

Today, my boyfriend told me he still has the key to our mailbox, while being at the other part of the country. Not to worry though, he sent it over. By mail. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27730

You deserved it

2188

Favorite

By mclovin09 - United States

Today, my wife entered in an ugliest sweater competition at her work. She wore a plain white sweater with a picture of my face printed on it. She came home with first prize. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40982

You deserved it

4085

Favorite

By hungry - United States

Today, my mom asked me if I had an eating problem because I've been eating less. I only started eating less because she told me I ate too much. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39588

You deserved it

3484

Favorite

By Anonymous - Australia - Chatswood

Today, my husband and I finally agreed on something: marriage counseling. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31944

You deserved it

6223

Favorite

By scherzo - United States - Edmond

Today, I dropped my phone in the parking lot and it landed next to a car tire. As I reached to pick it up, the car backed up and ran over my phone and my hand. Hello, emergency room! FML

I agree, your life sucks

4016

You deserved it

438

Favorite

By light_talker - United States

Today, I got my cell phone bill. I pay for 700 minutes per month. I used 9 last month. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23408

You deserved it

17963

Favorite

By ProudMama - United States

Today, I arrived home. I'd left for a business trip 5 days earlier, and trusted my husband with our young boys. As soon as I stepped in the door, I noticed my son had thinner hair than when I'd left. He then showed me an empty container of Nair. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27192

You deserved it

3229

Favorite

By thatstinks - Iceland

Today, I finally found out what the weird sour smell that's been in my dorm room for a while is. My roommate's sweat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30426

You deserved it

2956

Favorite

By Anonymous - Tanzania United Republic of

Today, I was driving along when I saw a hot girl walking. I decided to impress her by doing a 180 degree turn. Successfully pulling off my trick, I decided to back up so I could go the right way. Not looking behind, I backed up and smashed into a wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8782

You deserved it

65829

Favorite

By mary

Boundaries please!

Today, my boyfriend threatened to break up with me because I still close the door when I go to the bathroom. He pees and poops with the door wide open and expects me to do the same. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3719

You deserved it

401

Favorite

By beeee - Australia

Today, I moved in with my boyfriend. Up until now, I thought my cat was the only four year old I had to deal with. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30253

You deserved it

12530

Favorite

By rian - 3/4/2021 21:30

Redesign

Today, my house was broken into. Nothing was stolen, but my laptop had feces smeared all over it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

963

You deserved it

Favorite

By kittens go meow - United States

Today, I received a cute letter in my locker. It was in German, so I used Google translate. Apparently, someone hopes I choke on big fat cock. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33740

You deserved it

3545

Favorite

By Anonymous - Mexico

Today, my blanket got caught on my nose ring and it took my boyfriend over an hour to get it free. Afterwards, he admitted he was trying not to laugh because it reminded him of a bullfight. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13530

You deserved it

30818

Favorite

By jon - Canada - Toronto

Consent

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I thought I'd be spontanous and spice things up, and gave her a spank across the butt. She started crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32588

You deserved it

17986

Favorite

By kayak probs - United States - Newtown

Today, I finished the kayak I have been working on for four years. I can't get it out of my basement. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44329

You deserved it

25866

Favorite

By PhDdaughter - Switzerland

Today, the electrician came because our kitchen light has been flickering. After examining the installation, he screws the lightbulb tighter in the socket. My parents both are PhDs. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30288

You deserved it

8047

Favorite

By Irrationalwife

Today, my husband and I got into a fight about his pervert friend who regularly shows blatant disrespect for our marriage, including sending me inappropriate texts. Apparently this friend should have my full trust, and apparently I am the one with the issue for not excusing his bad behavior. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2302

You deserved it

194

Favorite

By HaHa Not Funny - United States

Today, my ex-boyfriend called to tell me that he had always made a point to eat some form of meat before making out with me. He'd known I was a vegetarian since the day we met. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33365

You deserved it

9124

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - San Marcos

Today, I sneezed so hard that I re-dislocated my shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23822

You deserved it

1798

Favorite

By hellnooo - United States

Today, I found out that I puke and then pass out at the sight of blood. I am a 16 year old girl expecting hundreds of periods to come. FML

I agree, your life sucks

58001

You deserved it

7594

Favorite

By budgetboss - United States - Granbury

Today, I got a call that my custom order bridesmaid dress is at the apartment complex I just moved out of. They won’t give it to me because I’m no longer a resident, but they just thought I should know. The wedding’s tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4189

You deserved it

363

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I received a rejection letter from a college that I'd applied to 6 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34024

You deserved it

2600

Favorite

By Yudor - France

Today, my girlfriend told me that she woke up after yesterday’s party with someone else’s trousers. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26388

You deserved it

2417

Favorite

By aaaaaaaaasssssssssssssss - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was washing my face like I normally do. My mom walked by as I was wiping my face and said "That's the washcloth I use to wipe my ass!" My dad and brothers are now only addressing me as "Assface." FML

I agree, your life sucks

23907

You deserved it

2492

Favorite

By Doesn't Matter Had Sex - United States - Lake Saint Louis

Today, I had sex with this guy. His dad came upstairs and poked his head through the door right after we had finished, but were still naked in bed. All he said was, "No twins," and walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25317

You deserved it

4458

Favorite

By Anon - Singapore

Today, I found out that my brother was selling pictures of me showering. For what? World of Warcraft money. FML

I agree, your life sucks

72682

You deserved it

4847

Favorite

By temp

Today, after working my ass off for 2 months, receiving perfect reviews, and going out of my way to take on extra work to get a job offer from the location where I temp, I finally got an offer for a permanent position. Included in the offer was a $3.00 an hour pay cut and no insurance. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10808

You deserved it

681

Favorite

By howcanihelpyou - United States - Wantagh

Today, while working as a receptionist at a doctor's office, my boss asked me to check in one more patient before I left. He paid his $50 copay in nickels and dimes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1830

You deserved it

123

Favorite

By meep - United States

Today, I found out where my $300 worth of American Eagle and Hollister clothes had disappeared to. My 16 year old sister shredded them with scissors, took pictures of it for her Myspace and said that I deserved it for being a "conformist." All her "internet friends" said it was awesome. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40669

You deserved it

12306

Favorite

By Toroka

Today, I had to spend two hours in the car with my mother. That doesn't sound so bad until you realize she's the kind of person who can, and did, spend nearly half an hour ranting about how the Big Beautiful Woman porn niche is the root of obesity in America. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13790

You deserved it

1002

Favorite

By full bladder - United States - Valrico

Today, I found out my anti-depressants are super-effective. So effective, they affect things they aren't even supposed to. Like my ability to pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28854

You deserved it

2346

Favorite

By Actrent

Today, the first gift I opened was from my uncle. It was $80 in clothes that I'd bought for myself a week earlier. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8147

You deserved it

685

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By ZOMBIEKILLIN801 | 0

#7539024 - Friday 8 September 2017 20:18

that's actually kinda smart the fist thing to go in high winds and then the rest of the house is compromised.

By INDYSTRUCTABLE | 43

#7539026 - Friday 8 September 2017 20:21

I've never seen anything like this before...

COMMENTS

By ZOMBIEKILLIN801 | 0

#7539024 - Friday 8 September 2017 20:18

that's actually kinda smart the fist thing to go in high winds and then the rest of the house is compromised.

By INDYSTRUCTABLE | 43

#7539026 - Friday 8 September 2017 20:21

I've never seen anything like this before...

By Shabnam Moghal | 14

#7539110 - Friday 8 September 2017 23:58

That'll scare the natural disaster off.

By gobiteme2 | 34

#7539155 - Saturday 9 September 2017 3:32

Should have installed a blue tarp on roof before the straps.

By [email protected] | 28

#7539447 - Saturday 9 September 2017 23:28

At least when your house is in the sky, you still got your garden!