- FML

By FML Approved

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1609

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Messed up

Facebook Science

Spy vs. Spy

By Anonymous

Today, my wife admitted that she purposefully starts fights with me purely because she enjoys arguing and seeing me flustered. Don't marry a lawyer. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4042

You deserved it

552

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By lrgenesis - United States

Today, my mom friended all my friends on Facebook then thought it'd be a good idea to try and act like a teen so she'd be considered 'cool'. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30094

You deserved it

2812

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By anonymous - 3/6/2020 14:06

Stinky mom

Today, my mom once again cried that I never come to visit her. I’ve tried, but her house is just unbearable. It’s always no less than 80°F inside, and she also refuses to clean up. She just burns multiple candles and air fresheners all day to mask the smell. She refuses any cleaning help I offer. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1678

You deserved it

124

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By Anonymous

Today, I was picking up after my dog with a poo baggie over my hand, like a mitten. Too bad the bottom ripped open and my bare hand poked through it just as I grabbed a big handful of steaming dog turd. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1767

You deserved it

286

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By Anonymous - 14/8/2020 08:01

Mr Loverman

Today, my boyfriend asked when I was going to bed, because he wanted to have sex. With himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1524

You deserved it

263

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By far23 - United States

Today, I had a big party that left my house really messy. I spent hours cleaning the house until it was spotless. When my parents got home, my dad said "Did you have fun at the party?" and I said, "How'd you know?" and he replied "You hate cleaning and the house was filthy when we left". FML

I agree, your life sucks

13609

You deserved it

53739

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By Dezzy - United States - Springfield

Today, I decided to give my boyfriend a surprise striptease. After I turned around, I heard him murmur "Oh, wow." I turned back around, only to find him watching a gif of a cat falling into snow in slow motion. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42112

You deserved it

4915

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By bamrd - United States - Boulder

Today, my university is capable of sending me two diplomas in short succession due to a clerical error, but can't recognize that I've graduated and won't be taking classes with them in the fall. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11585

You deserved it

882

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, as I was walking through the park I had to yawn. In mid-yawn, with my mouth wide open, I walked right through a spider web getting both the spider and the prey it was eating stuck in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47503

You deserved it

8213

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By alii2349 - Canada - Brandon

Today, I yelled at my boyfriend's cat for staring at me, then cried about it for an hour. Pregnancy life. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48368

You deserved it

9991

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By balkangirl94 - United States

Today, a guy tried to seduce me by talking about incest. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36338

You deserved it

3705

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By Cinderstar95 - United States - Schererville

Today, my dad and brother found a Christmas present that they'd "forgotten" to give me. Expecting a joke, I apprehensively opened it. But I still wasn't prepared to unwrap the neck of the Christmas turkey. It had been rotting in the living room for 2 days. The smell was indescribable. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6245

You deserved it

420

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By wooed - United States

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of 2 months has been faking his southern accent. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36467

You deserved it

9007

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By nancie

Today, while I was at work, my husband threw out 50 out of my 70 T-shirts, all of my tank tops, and all but one of my sweaters. I'm not getting them back because they're burning in a bonfire in the backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3744

You deserved it

687

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, in the bathroom during the ACTs, my hair got stuck in the electric hand dryer. I had to rip my hair out. For future reference, hair + hand dryer = dreadlocks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38104

You deserved it

12617

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By Can't Unsee

Today, my mother found my sex toys. To make me "feel better" she showed me hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3028

You deserved it

522

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By Oopsydaisy31

Metal music

Today, my date and I were getting to know each other, and we talked about our favorite music. He's into metal. Trying to impress him, I mention I like metal too. He said his favorite band is “The Gonzorks” and I mentioned that's my favorite too. He looked at me dead and cold and said “Um, actually that band doesn't exist.” FML

I agree, your life sucks

511

You deserved it

4458

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By Distraught - Reserved

Today, the day before I was going to move in with my army fiancé, he was told he would be deployed very soon. I can't pay for the apartment without him, and now have to move back in with my parents until he returns from active duty. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34983

You deserved it

6626

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By aXel

Today, my dog was watching me and started to have a hard-on, for half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51662

You deserved it

8297

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By smyp - Lithuania

Today, I was going down the elevator in my dorm and a friend joined on another floor. He then thought it was a good time to tell me that he slept with my girlfriend when the elevator got stuck. Worst 40 minutes of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26595

You deserved it

1594

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By Imslow - United States

Today, I found out that our neighbors told almost everyone on our street that I was mentally handicapped. All this time I wasn't sure why they would speak slowly and loudly at me. Now they won't believe me when I tell them I'm a 4.0 GPA student. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37367

You deserved it

3563

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided to be romantic and literally sweep me off my feet... directly into a door frame. Now my face is bruised, and the police officer at my school has asked me if I need to make a report about anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29235

You deserved it

2413

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By LDF - France

Today, I sat in the train and the old lady sitting next to me stares at my face. I ask her if she is ok and she starts yelling "Willy! It's you! Where have you been all this time?". The entire train trip went like this. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24986

You deserved it

1915

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I was at my girlfriends house. After having sex, we went downstairs to where the rest of the family was. At this point I did not realise that I had a used condom stuck to my foot. The family did. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13852

You deserved it

40269

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By Kayla - 16/1/2021 11:02 - United States - Wenatchee

Never name-drop

Today, I had a job interview. I have another job I want to leave, but haven't said anything yet. At the interview, I mentioned where I worked, and the interviewer name-dropped my manager. She then told me he was her step brother. So much for not wanting my manager to know. FML

I agree, your life sucks

987

You deserved it

128

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By footyfallout - Canada

Today, I finished writing the most perfect love letter for this girl at summer school. At the end of the letter I signed: Your secret admirer. Cute, right? Not really. Turns out I was so anxious to finish the letter that I ended up writing my name at the bottom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13120

You deserved it

53519

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By yourwifelovesme

Today, my dad was folding laundry. He came across a pair of jeans and asked who they belonged to. My mom said, “Those are definitely mine. The knees are worn out.” Thanks for that mental image mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1482

You deserved it

350

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By Anonymous

Today, my soon to be ex-wife told her friends that we're getting a divorce because I'm physically abusive. I guess that sounded better than the truth: that she waited 8 months into her pregnancy to tell me that the child probably isn't even mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30426

You deserved it

1736

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By Anonymous - United States - Seattle

Today, I dropped my knitting project while I was sitting down, but I managed to catch it between my legs. So my knitting needles also caught me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11570

You deserved it

1356

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By Lexi - France

Today, after telling my best friend an idiot could make Kraft Dinner, I spilled boiling water all over my hands and forearms while attempting to strain the noodles. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8188

You deserved it

36149

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By bride - United States

Today, I got married wearing a strapless dress. As I walked down the aisle, our wedding photographer stepped out behind me to get a shot of me approaching my husband. Instead of stepping out, though, he stepped on. Stepped on my dress. Pulling it completely down. FML

I agree, your life sucks

133735

You deserved it

10252

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. We decided to have sex in her basement. All awesome, until her mom walked down and wanted to watch a movie with us. I had to watch it naked under a blanket. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23205

You deserved it

7855

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By perfectlybrokenx - Canada

Today, while I was on a date, I noticed my ex-boyfriend in the restaurant, and he looked sad. So I walked over to see him and jokingly said, "You look like your mom died or something!" She had. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16754

You deserved it

52046

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By Fatty Fatty Fatso - United States - Somers

Today, I learned that my mother counts my jeans as two pairs when she counts how many she's putting in for a load of wash. I've gotten that fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26589

You deserved it

39018

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By anonymous - United States - Denver

Today, I was going through a hard and painful break up after a long relationship. Trying to get over it, I invited my two best friends over to lift my spirits. The night ended with them making out on my bed as I sat alone in the other room. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28060

You deserved it

2503

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By Anonymous

Today, I was texting with my childhood crush late at night and we were exchanging secrets. I figured this was as good a time as any to tell her about my long-standing crush on her. Turns out she's a lesbian. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2667

You deserved it

323

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By STUPID BIRTHDAY - United States

Today, it was my birthday. I set up a dinner party for 20 of my closest friends. I arrived at the restaurant, fully dressed and everything. When I got there, I thought everyone was ready to surprise me, but instead, nobody showed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

103937

You deserved it

6899

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By thatchick3333 - United States

Today, I got burned, all because the toaster scared me while I was holding a pot of boiling water. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24417

You deserved it

6899

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I asked my dad what his plans for Friday were. Apparently, he's going to a concert with my step-mom all evening. It's been their plan for months. Friday is my birthday. That's been set since the day I was born. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37149

You deserved it

7026

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By Anonymous - 14/3/2021 11:01

Circular logic

Today, I was told I was disrespectful for letting a parent know that her son was disrespecting adults. FML

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820

You deserved it

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Top comments

By Talented73 | 54

#7536830 - Saturday 2 September 2017 19:48

I hope no proctologist ever gets the same idea!

By Glowworm56 | 25

#7536913 - Sunday 3 September 2017 2:45

This isn't a fail, it's a win! The tooth chairs are awesome.

COMMENTS

By Talented73 | 54

#7536830 - Saturday 2 September 2017 19:48

I hope no proctologist ever gets the same idea!

By jfsiv | 17

#7536842 - Saturday 2 September 2017 20:49

Speak for yourself!

By Glowworm56 | 25

#7536913 - Sunday 3 September 2017 2:45

This isn't a fail, it's a win! The tooth chairs are awesome.

By ThrottleJockey | 34

#7537066 - Sunday 3 September 2017 16:36

Tooth be told, I think it's brilliant!

By The Best Retainer | 1

#7537920 - Wednesday 6 September 2017 4:02

This is a pretty great idea! Not for all practices, but a pretty great one.

By Brian Robinson | 3

#7991291 - Tuesday 4 May 2021 23:56

They did the Gynecologist joke in the movie "Patch Adams" with Robin Williams