- FML

By FML Approved - 2/9/2017 14:30

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Instadrama

Does it taste good?

Abuse

By mat - 21/1/2009 06:02 - France

Today, me and my family watched the video of my birth. In the video, when my mother sees me for the first time, she says "God he's ugly!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

34114

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2564

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By Anonymous - 17/3/2020 02:30 - New Zealand - Auckland

Nokia 3310 FTW

Today, while taking a rather large crap, I sent my sister a joking text saying, "I'm shitting my ass inside out." Turns out I sent it to my entire list of contacts. FML

I agree, your life sucks

475

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1864

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By gmd05 - 31/7/2012 14:28 - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's grandma for the first time. Trying to make a good impression, I offered to wash the dishes. I accidentally broke the faucet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25679

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3666

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By Anonymous - 10/12/2009 03:59 - United States

Today, I went down on my girlfriend after sharing a romantic moment. As I was licking, she giggled and said "You sound like a dog." Romance ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22720

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4552

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By Anonymous - 15/9/2009 18:18 - United States

Today, I found out that the reason I hadn't gotten pregnant yet was because my husband had a vasectomy after the birth of his son. He even had the nerve to continously tell me, "it'll happen soon, baby" and let me believe we were trying. FML

I agree, your life sucks

60268

You deserved it

3933

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By FuglyBetty - 24/2/2016 22:48 - Norway - Arendal

Today, while doing the grocery shopping with my boyfriend we came across another woman also out shopping, who looked shockingly like me despite her being another race, hair color and the like. The second he saw her, he blurted out, ''Oh, it's a pretty version of you!'' FML

I agree, your life sucks

21922

You deserved it

1699

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By topfisherman - 5/2/2010 20:17 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to have fun at school. So, we went into the locker room. We were making out for a couple minutes when the door opened. It was the principal, who also happens to be her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14722

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42025

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By anonymous_0505 - 6/11/2010 17:24 - Russian Federation

Today, my boyfriend ditched me, saying he had some important things to do. When I checked on him a while later, I found out what was so "important". A game called Robot Unicorn Attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29736

You deserved it

9420

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By not saying it was whores, but... - 16/10/2014 20:32 - United States

Today, I accidentally belched at the dinner table. At age 22, I got sent to my room with no dessert by my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37303

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9083

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By Anonymous - 27/1/2010 19:51 - Canada

Today, while my teacher was in the middle of a lecture, I accidentally made it so my laptop would display everything upside down. It took me the rest of class to get it right side up again. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9143

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30865

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By kvdfan - 27/8/2012 12:57 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came over to see me after almost a month of us not spending time together. Unfortunately, he came straight from bar-hopping with his friends and was wasted. He's currently naked in bed, cooing at his penis, and giggling like a little girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28135

You deserved it

3464

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By Kylie - 26/1/2010 16:13 - United States

Today, at work at daycare, this kid was coughing really bad, so I put my hand in front of his mouth in case he was choking on something so he could spit it out. But nope he wasn't choking, he was sick. He puked right into my hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13938

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28541

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By Anon - 26/12/2015 02:03 - United States

Today, I thought my mom and I could put aside our differences and open our Christmas presents. When she opened mine, she turned to my dad and said she didn't want the present, so I could give it to someone else. 'Tis the season. FML

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21418

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1364

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By shinoza - 13/2/2009 15:02 - Malaysia

Today, for the first time in months, I got a call from a beautiful girl asking me what I was doing tonight. Then my battery died. FML

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47438

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By dtack2tack - 9/7/2015 13:42 - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend cheated on me with his boss so he could get a promotion and "provide" for us. This from the guy who made me quit my job because he said he made enough money to support us both. FML

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28565

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3786

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By Anonymous - 23/11/2014 10:27 - Australia - Box Hill South

Today, in thanks for my assistance, a customer recommended me a plastic surgeon who could "really help with that face." FML

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30816

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2524

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By TheRuleEnforcer - 29/3/2013 08:33 - United States

Today, I was hit by a car in a parking lot. The person sped off; I broke three ribs. My parents screamed at me for not getting the driver's info. FML

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42371

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By hannax - 16/8/2016 17:26 - United Kingdom - Southampton

Today, I was spending the night at my fiancé's house. He knew my period was about to start, so he asked if he needed to put a tarp down on the bed. He was dead serious. FML

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15214

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1669

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By Anonymous - 27/12/2014 20:53 - United States - Tucson

Today, I got into a fight with my sister. Later on she brought me a bowl of tortilla chips, which I thought was her way of apologizing. I found out too late that she'd licked the flavoring off them and it was really her way of saying "Fuck you." FML

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32007

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By Anonymous - 30/10/2013 16:43 - United States - Houston

Today, I found out that I'm highly-placed in my wrestling competition this year. I also found out that I have mono and won't be able to take part for at least the first half of the competition. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39331

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By lydiacoolness - 8/8/2009 02:27 - New Zealand

Today, I got my annual blood test. The nurse was inexperienced and it took her several tries to insert the needle properly. When I get back home, my fiancé starts yelling at me and storms out. The reason? I am a recovering drug addict and my arm appeared as if I had been shooting up. FML

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53408

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By tardspawn - 5/4/2015 15:38 - United Kingdom - Horsham

Today, my morbidly obese mother gave me an angry lecture at dinner, saying without any trace of irony that my vegetarian diet is "unhealthy and utterly unacceptable". FML

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33459

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By dannij08 - 27/1/2009 16:47 - United States

Today, I hid my credit card from myself so I wouldn't use it. Now I can't find it. FML

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9268

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49116

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By sierra - 28/6/2012 21:55 - United States

Today, an attractive guy asked me to get coffee with him. My response was, "I don't drink coffee." I just turned down the first guy that's asked me out in 3 months. FML

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9585

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By ellie - 23/11/2009 18:09 - United States

Today, I was walking on the boardwalk with my mom when an old man came up and asked me to marry him. He promised he would buy me a Mercedes if I did. The man was homeless and delusional. My mom told me I should take the offer because it would be the best offer I could get. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35562

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3109

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By Anonymous - 22/8/2015 06:58 - United States - Cadillac

Today, I showed up to my new job early, hoping to impress my new boss. When he arrived, he walked by me and muttered "Fucking tryhard." FML

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25673

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3381

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By not paid enough - 1/6/2014 21:03 - United States - Antioch

Today, I got written up for asking my coworker a question that I should have asked my boss to ask my coworker. Yay bureaucracy. FML

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43649

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By worldsmosthonestdad - 12/5/2017 14:00

Today, I got a call from my 8-year-old's 3rd grade teacher. Apparently a question went around class asking, "Why do you think you were put on this Earth?", and my son answered, "My dad says it's because I swam the fastest." FML

I agree, your life sucks

2939

You deserved it

521

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By anonymous - 21/6/2010 12:21 - France

Today, the Vuvuzela that my brother ordered online was delivered to our house. FML

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63080

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6043

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By Username - 14/3/2011 06:53

Today, my ex-girlfriend moved out. I came back to a sparsely furnished home, she even took the shower head, my beard trimmer, and the soap from the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36975

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By Anonymous - 7/11/2010 11:14 - Netherlands

Today, I was jogging, and I saw a little boy walking. Crying and all alone. Thinking that he was probably lost, I asked to him with my sweetest voice: 'Hi there, did you lose somebody?' He screamed terrified and ran away. This is the second time this has happened to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29544

You deserved it

5758

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By Anonymous - 1/10/2011 02:01 - United States

Today, as I was walking home from school with my guy friends, my dad pulled up by the sidewalk, offered me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he started laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school. FML

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31219

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By Anonymous - 2/9/2013 21:23 - United States - Plaquemine

Today, I showed up at my brother's house for a visit. Little did I know, there was a family gathering. My bestfriend was invited and I wasn't. She's "more fun and less awkward" than I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41793

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3480

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By lionhead14 - 20/5/2011 19:05 - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up needing to wee. I was at my boyfriend's and didn't want to wake him, so I sat on the edge of the toilet and peed as quietly as possible. I realised after that I'd sat too far over and had peed on the floor. There was no loo paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13847

You deserved it

42329

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By nameless - 9/11/2010 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I got on a bus that was so overcrowded I had to stand next to the driver with nothing to hang on to. A drunk man got on and for the rest of the half hour journey continuously fell on me, when I got off he smiled and told me as the doors were closing "the last twelve times was for fun." FML

I agree, your life sucks

29974

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By pirate prude - 11/7/2017 20:00 - Canada

Today, when getting off the bus, the driver said he thought I was going to exit from the front. Without thinking, I responded, "Oh no, I'm more of a backdoor kinda girl!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

4916

You deserved it

1968

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By HiddlePuff - 14/5/2015 12:42 - Australia

Today, while teaching my class, I hooked my laptop up to the projector and put on a documentary. I left it playing and went to the toilet. When I came back the whole class was talking to my mother. She must've Skyped me while I was gone and someone answered the call. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36061

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By Username - 5/10/2011 00:02 - United States

Today, on my way home, my girlfriend started sexting me, telling me that she was waiting at my house. In my rush to get home to see her, I got pulled over and had to be patted down. He found no weapons, but he did find my stiffy. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41753

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12571

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By 420curse - 5/5/2015 18:20 - United States - San Mateo

Today, I found out the "sex noises" I heard from next door last night, which I'd angrily yelled at my neighbor for, were actually from him having an uncontrollable seizure. FML

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34503

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15063

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By Anonymous - 10/8/2013 04:02 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son asked a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbed her with a fork. FML

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65604

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Top comments

By Talented73 | 54

#7536830 - Saturday 2 September 2017 19:48

I hope no proctologist ever gets the same idea!

By Glowworm56 | 25

#7536913 - Sunday 3 September 2017 2:45

This isn't a fail, it's a win! The tooth chairs are awesome.

COMMENTS

By Talented73 | 54

#7536830 - Saturday 2 September 2017 19:48

I hope no proctologist ever gets the same idea!

By jfsiv | 17

#7536842 - Saturday 2 September 2017 20:49

Speak for yourself!

By Glowworm56 | 25

#7536913 - Sunday 3 September 2017 2:45

This isn't a fail, it's a win! The tooth chairs are awesome.

By ThrottleJockey | 34

#7537066 - Sunday 3 September 2017 16:36

Tooth be told, I think it's brilliant!

By The Best Retainer | 1

#7537920 - Wednesday 6 September 2017 4:02

This is a pretty great idea! Not for all practices, but a pretty great one.