By ahhhhhh - United States - Philadelphia Today, I made my mom breakfast in bed for her birthday. She was naked when I went to give it to her. FML I agree, your life sucks 32548 You deserved it 6458 97 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Chris - United States Today, I was watching TV when a Toy Story 3 commercial came on. My Mom said, "Oh, I remember when I took you to see Toy Story. Now Andy's all grown up and so are you. The only difference is Andy is going to college and you're not." FML I agree, your life sucks 20158 You deserved it 46008 209 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Ashley - United States - San Antonio Today, I found out why my boyfriend of 5 years won't propose/marry me. He would rather wait for his estranged wife to meet someone, fall in love, decide to get married, and do the filing herself. He doesn't want to pay the couple of hundred dollars for the uncontested divorce filing. FML I agree, your life sucks 13699 Phew, glad it wasn't me 2246 43 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By vansboy Today, my family had a secret meeting on my "puberty issues." I'm 21. FML I agree, your life sucks 31807 You deserved it 3626 91 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - New Albany Today, I was running late for school and accidentally ran a red light and got pulled over. I couldn't find the registration and was freaking out, when the cop told me that he wouldn't give me a ticket if he could give me some advice. His advice? Don't wear your shirt inside-out. FML I agree, your life sucks 25490 You deserved it 4553 21 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Northampton Today, while on the bus, a small child asked me if I was having a baby, and I replied "Yes." I'm not. I was just too ashamed to admit I was fat. FML I agree, your life sucks 23649 You deserved it 10690 139 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By IzzMeister - United States Just a movie Today, I walked in on my uncle watching porn. I realized that it was porn featuring my boyfriend, and he told me that the girl in it was "just a friend". FML I agree, your life sucks 1885 You deserved it 178 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonanon - United Kingdom Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been flirting with for months. Immediately after he gave me the 'let's just be friends' speech then left for work, accidentally locking me in his apartment. I had to call his ex girlfriend to come let me out. She smirked. FML I agree, your life sucks 35674 You deserved it 13734 30 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ihatewalmart - United States Live Laugh Love Today, while at work, I saw a kid empty his bladder all over the floor. His mother walked over, looked at me, said, "Yep… that just happened," and dragged him away. I'm a 30-year-old man, four credits shy of a Master's, stuck cleaning up piss at a dead-end job. FML I agree, your life sucks 27964 You deserved it 3185 122 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my boyfriend went to the aquarium. We were noticing the fishy smell, and I had made a comment about it. Then my boyfriend slowly, and seductively whispers into my ear, "It sort of reminds me of how you smell." FML I agree, your life sucks 61132 You deserved it 13719 309 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Oak Ridge Today, my mom called me into the living room to say that she had something important to tell me. She then explained how she and my dad had "talked things over" and wanted me to know that they accept me and love me no matter what. Apparently my mom thinks I'm lesbian. I'm not. FML I agree, your life sucks 34050 You deserved it 3188 67 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Talented73 - United States - Brooklyn Today, I went to a local Asian restaurant where this adorable Japanese girl works as a server. We had formed a friendship and I was hoping for something more, but I decided to play "hard-to-get" for the last couple of weeks. When I went there today, the place was closed. Permanently. FML I agree, your life sucks 7858 You deserved it 14702 42 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Actrent Today, the first gift I opened was from my uncle. It was $80 in clothes that I'd bought for myself a week earlier. FML I agree, your life sucks 8146 You deserved it 685 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By hoolabaloo - India - Ahmadabad Today, I finally got the courage to confess my feelings to the guy I have loved for a year now in a long note. He called half an hour later and said, "I'm not going to read this crap, just tell me what it says". FML I agree, your life sucks 36624 You deserved it 8041 74 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By shit - United States - Colonial Heights Today, I went to the dentist; no one was in the waiting room so I danced around and mouthed songs that were on the radio. It wasn't till after I went to the counter and saw the receptionists laughing like a pack of hyenas that I realized there was a camera. FML I agree, your life sucks 12890 You deserved it 8054 30 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Jlipka - United States Today, while house sitting, I went to take my pizza out of the oven, not realizing that the oven mitt had a hole in it. FML I agree, your life sucks 31756 You deserved it 5581 88 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Harry - United States Today, my dad decided to get his friend to help move our old sofas to save money. Its leg got stuck in the doorway, scratched the entire hallway wall, punched a big hole in it and the other leg made a big dent in our front door. We live in an apartment complex and now have to to pay for everything to be fixed. FML I agree, your life sucks 25159 You deserved it 6215 43 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom - London To each their own Today, taking a piss still gives me more pleasure than masturbation or sex. FML I agree, your life sucks 1607 You deserved it 255 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By iliku Today, I was having a romantic evening with my new boyfriend, until we walked into my bedroom and discovered that my cat had ripped apart my pads and had spread them all over the place. FML I agree, your life sucks 1425 You deserved it 190 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Amelia Today, I’ve discovered that even if he brushes his teeth for 10 minutes straight, flosses, and rinses with mouthwash, my boyfriend’s breath still smells like a cross between sewage and rotting fish. I’m running out of excuses for not kissing him. FML I agree, your life sucks 1577 You deserved it 209 21 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By spaaaarta Today, I was washing my car, I decided to be kind and to wash my elderly neighbor's car. As it turns out, her sunroof was open. FML I agree, your life sucks 8663 You deserved it 12408 37 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By crunch time - United States - Jacksonville Nice. Today, while working out at the gym, I paused to check out a beautiful woman. The guy behind me said "Are you going to do your set or are you going to keep staring at my wife?" FML I agree, your life sucks 2086 You deserved it 6443 21 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By moneyman22 - United States Little shit Today, I was asked to take care of my 3 year-old little brother. After 15 minutes of him screaming and me trying to keep him entertained, he started throwing his toy cars at me. He hit me in the mouth, and I started to bleed. My parents yelled at me for "not controlling him." FML I agree, your life sucks 31375 You deserved it 3943 140 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By please knock - United States - Needham Today, I went in the one-person bathroom at work to pee. Next thing I know, a woman forced the locked door open and walked in on me, because she didn't believe another person who said, "I think someone is in there." I'm reluctant to use that bathroom in the future. FML I agree, your life sucks 11382 Phew, glad it wasn't me 1205 26 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By gameguy3424 - United States Today, I went on my afternoon stroll to my local park. As I reached the park a little boy was peeing in the bushes nearby. His mother called. As I walked by, he turned, still peeing, right to me. He ended up peeing on the front of my pants and on my shoes. My house is 2 miles away from the park. FML I agree, your life sucks 44521 You deserved it 3188 60 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Australia - Moonee Ponds Today, my 3-year-old missed the toilet. In the time it took me to get paper towel to clean it up, my one-year-old decided it was the perfect puddle to play in. FML I agree, your life sucks 5102 You deserved it 571 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By f__k_it - United States Today, I decided to jack it a few times because I haven't been laid in a while. After round 3 my ex called me up and said she wanted to 'talk.' When she came over she made it abundantly clear that she wanted to make whoopie. Couldn't get it up. FML I agree, your life sucks 22887 You deserved it 42059 67 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Maldives - Male Today, at a family dinner, my mom announced that my newborn brother was named after his father. His name is Kevin. My dad's name is Michael. FML I agree, your life sucks 27512 You deserved it 1705 79 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada - Richmond Hill Today, my now ex-boyfriend accused me of wanting to screw his 11-year-old brother, all because I expressed interest in going to his birthday party. FML I agree, your life sucks 23035 You deserved it 1634 73 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom - London True romantic Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. During the act, he looked deep in to my eyes before whispering, "Up the arse next time?" FML I agree, your life sucks 2019 You deserved it 330 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By DocDog Today, my grandmother threatened to write me out of her will because I refused to believe that dogs can perform the Heimlich Manoeuvre. FML I agree, your life sucks 4612 You deserved it 475 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By shameless - United States - Canton Today, I agreed to go on a date with the creepy guy from my Economics class because I'm so broke that I could really use the free meal. FML I agree, your life sucks 49651 You deserved it 15218 138 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By notyouraverageteenager - Australia Today, I bought an expensive dress because it was me and my boyfriend's one year anniversary, and he was taking me somewhere nice. When he saw me in the dress, he looked at me, laughed and said, "Seriously, what are you wearing?" FML I agree, your life sucks 34221 You deserved it 7297 107 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By customerservicesucks - Canada Today, I spent half an hour on the phone with a woman who was yelling at the top of her lungs, sobbing uncontrollably and hyperventilating. She also told me if she had a heart attack and died from crying, it was all my fault. Why? I told her she needed her receipt to have her T.V. repaired. FML I agree, your life sucks 34918 You deserved it 3001 79 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada Today, while I was getting it on with my girlfriend I accidentally called out "Mom" instead of her name. FML I agree, your life sucks 11443 You deserved it 43863 134 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Foot-in-mouth syndrome Today, I was talking to this guy I liked at work. He was flirting with me, and everything was going great, I was so happy, until he started talking non-stop about the extent of his foot fetish. FML I agree, your life sucks 34110 You deserved it 5613 129 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By meikd423 - France Today, I walked in on my mom taking nude pictures of herself in the kitchen, with only a Santa hat on. FML I agree, your life sucks 46762 You deserved it 4537 195 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By prochainefois - France - Paris Today, I was in the process of finally losing my virginity. Part-way through, my neighbour started shouting from his backyard, "Go, Nicolas! You can do it!" He was talking to his son, but the two of us have the same name. I couldn't finish. FML I agree, your life sucks 62221 You deserved it 6880 88 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By uhoh901 - United States Today, I just had a phone interview with a college. The lady asked me to spell out my password to a site so she can access my test scores. The password was "dick." FML I agree, your life sucks 12913 You deserved it 51911 173 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 27/6/2020 23:02 Alexa, play "Noise Annoys" by Buzzcocks Today, I found out my mother only uses two settings for volume on her laptop: maximum volume or completely quiet. She'll play it over whatever other people are doing, and then get mad when they tell her to turn it down. FML I agree, your life sucks 1230 You deserved it 88 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Fritterzz | 13 #7514245 - Sunday 30 July 2017 16:44 Dinesh!!! NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Send a private message 8 0 Reply
By Fritterzz | 13 #7514245 - Sunday 30 July 2017 16:44 Dinesh!!! NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Send a private message 8 0 Reply
Today, I found out that my boyfriend lied about not only talking to one other girl, but 5 other girls, and it wasn't just talking, it was wanting to meet... I agree, your life sucks 111 You deserved it 16 1 Comments
Today, as my husband normally initiates sex and sometimes I want to but always chicken out, I was feeling brave and did so. After he came, he continued... I agree, your life sucks 571 You deserved it 105 5 Comments
