- FML

By FML Approved - France - Paris

I agree, your life sucks

1430

You deserved it

282

Favorite

Good kid

Marxism intensifies

So you had a bad day…

By Anonymous - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My dad was supposed to take me to get a tattoo, but instead he went to the bar, got drunk, and told me how I was the biggest mistake he and my mom have ever made. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35688

You deserved it

3961

Favorite

By kkt - United States - Granbury

Today, my 15-year-old brother got busted for selling pills at school. The officer said they were reddish pink, so we searched the house for that kind of pill. Turns out it was my dog's medicine from over 4 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48679

You deserved it

4527

Favorite

By Anonymous - 17/5/2021 11:01 - Chile - Santiago

Check that expiration date man, it's later than you think

Today, I found out that I might not get a job in the States, because I let my certification expire and haven't driven in the States in two years. I can't get the experience without a job, can't get a job without experience. FML

I agree, your life sucks

622

You deserved it

294

Favorite

By SweethomeAlabama - 1/6/2021 01:00 - Turkey - Konya

Leave us alone

Today, a customer asked me if I was my husband's sister. A little flabbergasted, I replied, "No, I'm his wife." He went on to say, "Ah! But surely, you're related? Cousins?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

902

You deserved it

Favorite

By fired - United States

Today, my boss was being a total asshole. While in the bathroom, he turned his back on me, so I gave him the finger, mouthed obscenities, and pantomimed stabbing him with a knife. He was looking in the mirror and saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10180

You deserved it

65203

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that some men think it's ok to clip their fingernails at the table, in a restaurant on a first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42733

You deserved it

2981

Favorite

By Anonymous - 25/8/2020 04:02 - Australia - Lakes Entrance

Work sucks, I know

Today, I returned to work after a week off due to severe food poisoning, after which I ended up in the ED. I was given a warning for causing an inconvenience to everyone, and next time I'm going to be sick, I should give 3 days notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1589

You deserved it

Favorite

By awalc - United States

Today, I woke up with Skittles super glued to my forehead. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32667

You deserved it

6023

Favorite

By blah - United States

Today, my mom took me to an AA meeting because she said I needed help. I have never tried alcohol in my life, and told them this. I was then harangued by the "instructor" because apparently one of the signs of alcoholism is denial. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37601

You deserved it

3052

Favorite

By Roxas - United States

Today, I got a parking ticket in the mail. I don't have a car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39723

You deserved it

3224

Favorite

By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I was at the park with a friend when I said "Gotta go, sorry. I've got court in an hour." The lady on the bench next to us then loudly complained how disgusting I was for being a criminal and threw her bird seed at me, dirtying my suit. I'm a lawyer with a case in an hour, not a criminal. FML

I agree, your life sucks

55104

You deserved it

3851

Favorite

By Ladycakes - United States - Altamonte Springs

Today, while in bed, I tried to explain how overworked and unappreciated I feel doing all the housework to my fiancé. It was only when I'd finished my long rant that I realized he had been asleep almost the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23766

You deserved it

6885

Favorite

By ToiletTroubles - United Kingdom

Today, I was taking some clothes downstairs to wash, when my mum stopped me. She accused me of sleeping around and trying to hide something, since she did the washing yesterday. She made me admit in front of the whole family that I'd been "surprised" by a case of diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45001

You deserved it

3109

Favorite

By mudy247

Today, it took me longer than it should have with a bit of calculations to remember how old I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3375

You deserved it

842

Favorite

By pl. - 3/6/2021 21:59

Pissed

Today, while on a road trip, I stopped at a gas station and told my kids to go to the restroom. My youngest daughter said, "I had to go earlier, but not anymore." FML

I agree, your life sucks

786

You deserved it

130

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Buffalo

Today, my son asked me if slavery was ever abolished. He's 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46796

You deserved it

7379

Favorite

By LetItRip - Czech Republic - Prague

Today, I nailed every single move in my routine at a gymnastics competition. I then finished off with a perfect split, letting out a fart loud enough to wake up a kid in China. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39463

You deserved it

3352

Favorite

By anonymous - United States

Today, I got a question wrong on an exam. The question started with, "In your opinion..." FML

I agree, your life sucks

14526

You deserved it

1967

Favorite

By Kelly

Suspicious Minds

Today, I discovered that my 17-year-old daughter received several weird deposits from Paypal. I checked her phone to discover that she had changed the password for the first time in years. Fearing drugs, I confronted her. She broke down and confessed to selling rare digital Pokemon on eBay. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9702

You deserved it

2391

Favorite

By John - United States

Today, I took my 15 year old daughter driving. I yelled at her for not going safely around corners. On the way home, while demonstrating how to drive right, I went around a corner and hit a cement truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8354

You deserved it

57816

Favorite

By RightInTheFace - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, I found out that my girlfriend sleepwalks. Well, I say sleepwalks, more like sleep punches. Very, very hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23471

You deserved it

1870

Favorite

By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I woke up after a night of partying and went to the bathroom. That’s when I realized that after passing out with my shoes on last night, my friends decided use a black sharpie and play “connect the dots” with my acne. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44647

You deserved it

19923

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Miami

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks

62068

You deserved it

10024

Favorite

By Geezum Crow

Today, I found out my school's financial aid had a "misunderstanding" of my finances, I can no longer afford to pay half of my bills or pay for Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2635

You deserved it

149

Favorite

By FckMyLife - United States

Today, while at the mall I opened a bathroom stall thinking nobody was in there. The door just didn't close properly. I hit an elderly woman in the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26704

You deserved it

10051

Favorite

By Anonymous - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I was on the subway, when the girl opposite me suddenly started shouting and accusing me of photographing her. I was reading a book on my phone, and I showed her the screen, but I got shoved around anyway by another guy, who threatened to report me for being a pervert. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44012

You deserved it

3261

Favorite

By soontobewidow - Turkey - Istanbul

Today, my husband was involved in a horrible series of accidents; he repeatedly slipped and fell into my best friend's vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53094

You deserved it

3956

Favorite

By foreveralone - United States - Franklin Park

Today, I went to the doctor, only to find out I can no longer eat chocolate, my favorite food. When I got home, my boyfriend took the chocolate cake I'd been eating from the fridge, sat down in front of me, and ate the whole thing without breaking eye contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks

57121

You deserved it

7122

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, after months of trying for a baby and telling me how he wants a family and can't wait to have a kid with me, my boyfriend was relieved when I got a negative home test, saying he's not ready for kids yet. I took another test this morning. I'm pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3963

You deserved it

563

Favorite

By DrunkPeopleSuck

Today, a customer at the bar I work at yelled at me for calling her "Ma'am." I asked what she'd prefer, and she gave me her name. When I called her by her name, she yelled at me for not calling her "Ma'am." FML

I agree, your life sucks

1838

You deserved it

108

Favorite

By goinginsane

Today, I was told that I am an incredibly boring person and that it's no wonder I have no friends. I think they're right; last night I dreamt about a nail file. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33712

You deserved it

7140

Favorite

By ftt

Today, Facebook notified me a "friend" had tagged me in one of his photos. It was a group photo of 20, but my face was the only one that was intentionally blocked out with an emoji because I "didn't belong in the group." FML

I agree, your life sucks

9261

You deserved it

581

Favorite

By notpreggers - United Kingdom

Today, I was wearing a new 500 dollar dress on a crowded train. I looked great and I could feel the eyes on me. A cute guy then offered me his seat, only boosting my confidence more until he said "for you and the baby," pointing at a bump in my dress. I'm not pregnant and wasted 500 dollars. FML

I agree, your life sucks

55838

You deserved it

28765

Favorite

By dating a pussy - United States - Maryville

Scream

Today, I was watching TV, when I heard a blood-curdling scream from my boyfriend upstairs. It sounded like he was being murdered with a rusty fork, and I rushed to see what the hell was going on, hitting my shin against the stairs in the process. He'd stubbed his toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43071

You deserved it

5721

Favorite

By Username

Today, I got attacked by my own dog. I don't know what will be harder, telling everyone how my dog thought I was a robber or explaining to them why a 25 year old man owns a poodle. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27257

You deserved it

16460

Favorite

By thats what my ipod is for - United States

Today, I overheard my grandpa telling my mom he'd found a load of porn in my laptop's browser history, but that he deleted all the "filth" so she wouldn't have to see it. She believed him and I got grounded, much to his amusement. I've never looked up porn on that computer in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45364

You deserved it

3126

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I asked out one of the girls that hangs out in my group of friends (the same group I have been hanging out for three years). She stared at me for a couple of seconds then said " who the hell are you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

51910

You deserved it

4859

Favorite

By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my mum thought it would be acceptable to tell my school that the reason I will not be attending classes is because I have "the shits." FML

I agree, your life sucks

32639

You deserved it

3216

Favorite

By Jeynna - 8/5/2021 00:01

Through the wall

Today, I bumped into my next door neighbor. She said, "Not for nothing, but I heard you fighting with your boyfriend last night, you're pretty harsh on him." I don't have a boyfriend, I was just drunk and castigating myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

468

You deserved it

711

Favorite

By Wilhelm - Philippines - Makati

Today, I heard water dripping at the back of our house. I went to investigate, only to find a man peeing on our garden gnome. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15804

You deserved it

1481

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By tonyfan00 | 38

#7498925 - Wednesday 19 July 2017 19:12

They are trying way too hard to be funny.

By cakefete2 | 30

#7498919 - Wednesday 19 July 2017 19:05

Now he won't be able to smell what the Rock is cooking.

COMMENTS

By cakefete2 | 30

#7498919 - Wednesday 19 July 2017 19:05

Now he won't be able to smell what the Rock is cooking.

LittleRed79 | 39

#7499126 - Wednesday 19 July 2017 21:31

He may have to literally follow his nose.

By tonyfan00 | 38

#7498925 - Wednesday 19 July 2017 19:12

They are trying way too hard to be funny.

Lalala579121 | 27

#7499702 - Thursday 20 July 2017 6:32

Wait, you mean that was supposed to be funny?

By howxvery | 22

#7499880 - Thursday 20 July 2017 8:47

I just audibly gasped

By wickedgetz | 29

#7500131 - Thursday 20 July 2017 11:44

brings a whole new meaning to the game... I got your nose