By FML Approved - France - Issy-les-moulineaux I agree, your life sucks 1160 You deserved it 256 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By duuuuude - United States Today, I was home alone while my mom went out to dinner. I decided to hop in the shower, and I noticed my mom left her douche in there. After, I texted her telling her what I found and that it was gross. Her response? "It's not gross. It came from my vagina, like you and your sister." FML I agree, your life sucks 50876 You deserved it 23217 187 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By crazydaughter - Egypt Today, I walked in on my daughter trying to blow-dry the sweat off her armpits instead of showering. FML I agree, your life sucks 28723 You deserved it 3248 111 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By MoMoneyMoProblems - Ireland - Dublin Today, I managed to get a €5 note tangled in the zip on my purse. I couldn't open it without ripping it to shreds. FML I agree, your life sucks 38396 You deserved it 5224 59 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Li - United Kingdom - Birmingham Today, I shouted, "Fuck off!" out of reflex when I felt someone behind me grab my bag and pull it off my shoulder. It turned out to be an elderly man with a walking stick, who was trying to steady himself in a busy crowd. FML I agree, your life sucks 28868 You deserved it 15278 68 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By robinhoood - United States Today, my girlfriend, who never initiates sex, pulled me into my room and onto my bed with kisses and other seductive behavior. As I'm thinking about how awesome it is that's she's doing this for once, she reaches down, grabs my underwear, and gives me the worst wedgie I've ever received. FML I agree, your life sucks 76820 You deserved it 13495 226 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By tiredofcrazy - Australia Today, my boyfriend stormed out after I suggested to him that his relationship with his mother is maybe a little weird. Apparently having regular, hour-long phone discussions about your penis is a perfectly normal thing for a 23-year-old to have with his mother. FML I agree, your life sucks 61675 You deserved it 7471 191 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By thelarkscaw - United States Today, I thought I saw a woodchuck far out in my yard. I wanted to take a cool picture of it so I slowly crept closer and closer to it. I spent half an hour sneaking up on a log. FML I agree, your life sucks 19081 You deserved it 53403 150 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada Today, my girlfriend and I were both at home, sick. We decided to make the best of it and spent the day in bed together. Things got a little steamy, and we started making out. As I started kissing her neck, I got nauseous. Before I could pull away, I threw up all over her. FML I agree, your life sucks 34251 You deserved it 17996 175 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By dancer, not a hooker... - Canada - Penticton Today, I finished a dance competition. With competitions, it requires you to wear a lot of makeup like false eyelashes and red lipstick. I went into a Starbucks to get a coffee and a boy around 18 asked me, in all seriousness, what my rate is for one night. FML I agree, your life sucks 60464 You deserved it 11630 135 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By GaymerLink Today, my boss reprimanded me for not meeting my sales goals and is sending me to a two week training program. I don’t work in sales. FML I agree, your life sucks 3032 You deserved it 146 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By dentinpalevo - Cyprus Today, it's my first day-off for the holidays. Today is also the day they decided to start building a house next to mine. I can't sleep beyond 7 am. FML I agree, your life sucks 27855 You deserved it 2351 67 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Sugao - France Today, during foreplay with my boyfriend, I put my legs around his neck. He pushed them away violently, shouting, "Bloody hell, it's prickling me!" I'd shaved the day before. FML I agree, your life sucks 37881 You deserved it 7575 46 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ugh - United States - Athens Today, while driving home after the legal curfew, I narrowly avoided a police roadblock and backtracked a mile to drive home another way. I then ran out of gas a mile away from my house. FML I agree, your life sucks 9949 You deserved it 30760 156 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By KingSnow03 - 31/3/2020 20:00 Stay away from us! Today, because I have a coughed a total of 2 times in a row, I'm now banned from seeing any of my family until I get tested for coronavirus. The earliest available appointment is May 3rd. Looks like quarantine is going to be a lot worse than I thought. FML I agree, your life sucks 1591 You deserved it 181 14 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By gera3gera - United States Today, I was walking my dog when, as usual, he did his business in the grass and stepped off to the side. I squatted and reached for the bag when my dog spotted another canine. He lunged forward in excitement and I landed face forward in the feces. FML I agree, your life sucks 42711 You deserved it 4086 60 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Munch - Australia - Mordialloc Today, my short-tempered, alcoholic boyfriend proudly showed me the rifle he bought. This guy regularly swears at his own sneezes and often flies into fits of rage because it's hard to get his shoe on. Time to move out. FML I agree, your life sucks 4185 You deserved it 862 41 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By davifilo - Australia - Queanbeyan Today, I went bowling. I noticed a 10-year-old holding an iPod Touch which had the exact same customized case with my name on it as my iPod that was stolen a year ago at the same bowling centre. Even better, the parents yelled at me for accusing him. I got kicked out the bowling centre. FML I agree, your life sucks 31901 You deserved it 2603 168 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Natasha - 20/2/2021 21:30 Revenge Today, because I wouldn’t let my little sister have any more cookies, she snuck into my room while I was sleeping and superglued my lips together. FML I agree, your life sucks 906 You deserved it 85 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Creep - United States Today, I discovered my new plug-in air freshener smells exactly like my ex-boyfriend's cologne. My friends noticed this, and nobody will believe me when I say it smelled different on the scratch-and-sniff. Now I'm considered a creep. A nostalgic, obsessed creep. FML I agree, your life sucks 31677 You deserved it 6066 142 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By grossfoot - United States Today, while getting on the subway, I tripped over the gap between the train and the platform. My flip-flop caught on the edge, and fell into the gap. I had to walk home with one flip-flop. FML I agree, your life sucks 26860 You deserved it 9404 148 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I went into work with the mentality that all of my ass-busting work was going to result in me finally being promoted to manager. We had a site meeting. The entire building is being laid off because Apple cut our contract. Yay, I'm out of a job. I hate Apple. FML I agree, your life sucks 1990 You deserved it 205 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By libraries are a girl's best friend - United States - Elizabethtown Today, my dad grounded me for swearing, after I read a funny comment on Youtube to my sister. The supposed swear word? "YOLO." FML I agree, your life sucks 40869 You deserved it 35572 210 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ctschantz - France Today, I was getting ready to load my groceries in my car when my remote wouldn't work and neither would my key to unlock it. A cute young guy came over, not to help but to ask me what the hell I was doing to his car. My car, that looked exactly like his, was on the other side of the lot. FML I agree, your life sucks 22713 You deserved it 13466 58 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By hotheadslav - United States - Warsaw Today, I was on a date with a girl and everything was going great. As I took her back to her house and walked her to her door I leaned in for a kiss. She seemed to really enjoy it so I went for another but as I leaned in again, I sneezed uncontrollably shooting her face with saliva and snot. FML I agree, your life sucks 29782 You deserved it 4461 57 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By evilsandwich - Canada - London Today, after house-sitting for a week, I came home to find the house in which I rent a basement suite has all but burned to the ground. My landlord didn't even bother to tell me about the fire. FML I agree, your life sucks 34887 You deserved it 2123 69 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By BurntBroken Today, when I realized I'd forgot rice on the stove, I jumped off my chair and pulled off my headphones really fast. Now I've got burnt rice and broken headphones. FML I agree, your life sucks 4325 You deserved it 1460 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By racchhh - United States Today, I sent a forward to everyone in my phonebook saying, "HOUSE PARTY-NO PARENTS, LOTS OF ALCOHOL, MAYBE A CHANCE TO HOOK UP." I then got a reply from my mom saying, "I'm probably the only one that would show up." Even my mom thinks I'm a loser, and I'm now grounded for 3 weeks. FML I agree, your life sucks 11827 You deserved it 88278 181 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sadness1992 - United States - San Diego Today, my girlfriend decided to invite her best friend over for a threesome. This would've been the best day ever, had I not been at work while it was taking place. FML I agree, your life sucks 42826 You deserved it 4203 113 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By LostSoul Today, I arrived at the doctor's to schedule surgery to find out my insurance got canceled again. I only just got it reinstated after the last time they screwed up and canceled it. It took me 6 months to get it fixed. FML I agree, your life sucks 1755 You deserved it 92 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ConfusedGirl - United States - Pittsford Today, I came home early to surprise my boyfriend. I walked into our bedroom to find him in dressed completely in my clothes, and in makeup. It took me a moment to realize it was him and not a female intruder. FML I agree, your life sucks 25033 You deserved it 2209 121 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ItaliczZz - Australia Today, I left my window open while practicing the saxophone. My drunk neighbours showed their appreciation for the music with a well-aimed firecracker that set my mattress on fire. My landlord has threatened to evict me as she thinks I set it off. FML I agree, your life sucks 29460 You deserved it 5662 109 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By stagedivefail - Australia RAWK N ROLL!!! Today, my band played its first real gig. It was going well, and I, the vocalist, thought it would be a good idea to stage dive. I underestimated the distance between the stage and the crowd and crashed into the floor. FML I agree, your life sucks 10836 You deserved it 59540 81 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Geckosrock99 Today, my iguana tried to eat my hand. Taking that as a sign of being hungry, I gave him a bowl of fruits and veggies. After he finished the bowl, he tried to eat my hand again. My iguana's an asshole. FML I agree, your life sucks 13203 You deserved it 1817 44 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By kaheera4 - United States Today, my mom visited, and I left her for a few minutes while I used the bathroom. While I was stuck taking a crap, she went on one of her religious rants, telling my children that Easter was off this year because their precious "pagan" Easter Bunny had been murdered. FML I agree, your life sucks 40027 You deserved it 3972 97 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By wellthatsawkward - United States Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my family. The night consisted of my sisters hiding in a tent and chasing us around in it, my parents singing songs from 'The Lion King' opera-style and throwing cheese at him. Pretty sure he's freaked out. FML I agree, your life sucks 32410 You deserved it 4329 124 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fuuuuck - United States Today, I had a big presentation to do at work, so I got up early and ran myself a bath. I woke up three hours later, extremely late, and still in the bath. FML I agree, your life sucks 18941 You deserved it 24621 118 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Elliot - United Kingdom Today, I lifted up my blinds, only for them to detach from the wall, hit me on the head, knock a pile of paper over, spill a can of Pepsi, leave plaster all over the floor and a gaping hole in the wall above my window. FML I agree, your life sucks 36042 You deserved it 4307 166 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I had to explain to my husband that it's biologically impossible for cats and dogs to cross-breed, and that his "brilliant idea" of getting ours to mate is just plain disturbing. He still doesn't believe me. FML I agree, your life sucks 40882 You deserved it 4342 107 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous On Target, almost Today, I was walking through Target when I was pulled aside by a very attractive girl who began kissing me. She stopped, because I wasn't who she thought I was. Disappointed, I turned around to see her very angry, very large boyfriend behind me. FML I agree, your life sucks 1780 You deserved it 160 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By UrbanCass - United States Today, I finally had sex with a girl I've been dating for over a month. Before we got started she told me not to worry about the birth control because she could handle that. So after we finished I asked her what kind of birth control she used. She said she meditated. FML I agree, your life sucks 37351 You deserved it 76527 250 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By tonyfan00 | 38 #7497970 - Wednesday 19 July 2017 6:46 This one isn't even remotely funny. Send a private message 8 1 Reply
By Cali | 54 #7499301 - Thursday 20 July 2017 0:07 Bitch don't kill my vibe. Send a private message Reply
By tonyfan00 | 38 #7497970 - Wednesday 19 July 2017 6:46 This one isn't even remotely funny. Send a private message 8 1 Reply
Reply Cali | 54 #7499301 - Thursday 20 July 2017 0:07 Bitch don't kill my vibe. Send a private message Reply
Today, barely able to pay rent while working 3 jobs, I decided to give in to the idea of making online sex work photos and videos. Everyone else seems... I agree, your life sucks 766 You deserved it 260 5 Comments
Today, I started to cry while masturbating. This isn't the first time that this has happened. FML I agree, your life sucks 576 You deserved it 234 4 Comments