- FML

By FML Approved

I agree, your life sucks

1525

You deserved it

251

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Understandable

Dad of the year

Get 'em!

By confused - 9/2/2021 02:00 - United States

Oh, the patriarchy

Today, a coworker grabbed my ass for the third time. I went to my boss to complain about the sexual harassment. He told me to suck it up and enjoy the attention, and that it was my fault for having a huge, round ass. I think it's time for a new job. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1778

You deserved it

125

Favorite

By Anonymous - 10/7/2020 05:00

High on emotion

Today, a woman I’ve liked for years falsely claimed to be strung out on crystal meth rather than just turning me down. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1321

You deserved it

121

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By SayWhat - United States

Today, I went to throw out the garbage outside. I noticed at the bottom of my can was a lot of rice. I was angry at my brother for making a mess. As I went to clean it up, the rice moved. It wasn't rice, it was maggots. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28559

You deserved it

4708

Favorite

By look at the fucking universe, lady - United States - Montgomery

Today, I spent hours debating with a lady who claimed she'd spent years "studying the big bang theory". Not only did she not know the scientific meaning of the word "theory", her killer argument was "If the big bang happened, where are the fossils?" I'm not sure whether or not I just got trolled. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40662

You deserved it

5192

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Baltimore

Today, I was showing my boyfriend some stuff I bought that day: a new thong and a bag of his favorite brand of peanuts. He was more excited about the peanuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22201

You deserved it

5091

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By KaLa - Canada

Today, I told my mom I loved her a lot. Her reply? "Thanks." FML

I agree, your life sucks

30421

You deserved it

4214

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By olyswimmer - United States

Today, my car got a wheel lock because I had 5 tickets. Three of those tickets dated back to 2006. I got my car and license in 2008. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34291

You deserved it

3631

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By fire - United States

Today, I had to call 911. Why? My fireplace caught on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27468

You deserved it

6577

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By idrathernotgiveoutmyname - Canada

Today, I was texting the guy I like. He's really smart, funny, athletic, and cute. This all changed when he told me he was jacking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29810

You deserved it

8829

Favorite

By seriously?

Today, my best friend actually had the audacity to try and one-up my suicide attempt story. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48776

You deserved it

10495

Favorite

By dinosaur - Australia

Today, my boyfriend decided it would be fun to sit on my lap. In the process he landed on me so hard that he made me hit my head. Then when he turned around his elbow smacked into my nose causing it to break. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31128

You deserved it

3190

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By mcginnismr

Today, I went to the doctor's office, where my mother happens to work. When my doctor tried to prank her by saying I have chlamydia, my mother laughed and said she didn't believe it, adding, "Have you even seen the way she interacts with boys?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

14158

You deserved it

1346

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, just as I was putting my contacts in, a gnat landed on it. Its guts got squished between my eyeball and the contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27705

You deserved it

1898

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my family and I were coming back from a trip to the US. As we reached the border patrol we realized that we were one passport short. The border patrol lectured us for 30 minutes about how irresponsible we were for not realizing that they had forgotten to give us one of our passports back. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42952

You deserved it

8013

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By depressed - United States

Today, a girl I have been wanting for years told me she was drunk and needed me to take her home. On the way home she was very frisky and flirty, and I kept telling her to wait till we got to her place. When we finally arrived, she passed out on me and I was stuck there watching her sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10765

You deserved it

26224

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I sent my boss a link to a website I thought would answer a simple question she'd asked. Turns out, yes, the site did answer her question, but it also had some very suggestive ads on it. Apparently I'm the only person in the office who uses adblock. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29125

You deserved it

2992

Favorite

By Magnus_the_Red - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me she didn't want to get it on with me because she didn't want to ruin my innocence. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25495

You deserved it

3958

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By bunnyyy - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via text message. You would think he could at least spell my name right while ending our relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36448

You deserved it

3802

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By anonymous - United Kingdom - Lancaster

Today, whilst laying in bed with my girlfriend, she received a flirty message from her ex on her phone asking if she wanted to go to the cinema. She replied, knowing I could see the screen. The messages were signed with a love heart and about 15 kisses. She claims they are still just friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35868

You deserved it

3968

Favorite

By haters

Today, while in a meeting for work, my boss expressed how much he likes everyone at our site. But before continuing, he looked at me and said, “Everyone but you, that is.” FML

I agree, your life sucks

1695

You deserved it

236

Favorite

By Skidmark Sally - United States - Las Cruces

Today, while working at the daycare, I had to clean the entire place. During the next four hours, I scooped up three human teeth, a rotten log of shit, a tire iron, a condom wrapper, and a yogurt that expired in 2003. I only cleaned the place a week ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28741

You deserved it

2156

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Silver Spring

Today, one of my co-workers was fired after my manager discovered him pissing in the office coffee pot. I had three cups before I found out what had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54916

You deserved it

4405

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, my mother-in-law yelled from across the house for me to come quickly. She sounded frantic, so I rushed and asked what was wrong. She said, "Nothing." and that she just wanted to remind me that she hates my guts. She'll be living here with me and my wife for the next two months. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51409

You deserved it

3801

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Hudsonville

Today, a girl told me she couldn't text me anymore, because she was too tired and had to sleep. Over the next three hours, she updated her Facebook and Twitter accounts, and made a YouTube video of herself singing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31282

You deserved it

6079

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out my best friend was having a birthday party and I wasn't invited, so I asked her why. She replied, "what birthday party?" It was a surprise birthday party. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18322

You deserved it

31098

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By stupidteacher - China - Guiyang

Today, I gave a presentation in class. I felt pretty good about it, until afterwards when I was told I lost points for communication because I'd been chewing gum. I wasn't, I just have a speech impediment. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14246

Phew, glad it wasn't me

945

Favorite

By Ouch - United States

Today, the vibrator I ordered online was delivered. I'd paid extra to make sure it would be here before the weekend, so I could sneak it into my room while everyone was gone. My dad decided to stay home all day and answer the door ahead of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33598

You deserved it

9277

Favorite

By redneckfamily - United States - Roy

Today, I realized my family is the textbook definition of redneck after listening to my grandpa threaten to smash with an excavator the trailer that my uncle lives in behind our house if he didn't return the set of tires he had stolen and pawned from my grandpa's garage. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39908

You deserved it

3659

Favorite

By roflcopter - United States

Today, one of my cousins offered to sell me his mac for a low price. When I got it, I realized it was an old toshiba painted white with an apple sticker on it. My cousin still insists it's a mac. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19133

You deserved it

31438

Favorite

By BudmaudeY - Sweden

Today, I noticed that the injury on my hand from three weeks ago no longer hurt. A while later, I accidentally slammed that same hand in a door. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23354

You deserved it

15792

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By Anonymous - 22/12/2020 14:06

Little wins matter

Today, after our Christmas plans got cancelled because of COVID, to make ourselves feel better we made travel plans somewhere else, which also turned into a red zone the night before our departure, we are now going out for breakfast as our highlight of the year. Thankfully they are open. FML

I agree, your life sucks

353

You deserved it

1115

Favorite

By TCRII

Today, my wife said she wants a divorce. Three days ago, I added her onto the title to my house, my bank accounts, and my business. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5843

You deserved it

733

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I found out that my roommate secretly edited a paper I wrote and recently turned in, so that it repeatedly refers to the famed author "Kneel Gayman." I'm positive that's not how it's spelled. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37561

You deserved it

3327

Favorite

By Sara - Vietnam - Hanoi

Today, I paid $50 to go to a war museum. It was so boring that I fell asleep standing up, lost my balance and faceplanted the floor right in front of our tour guide. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19160

You deserved it

5725

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By resipsahipsta - United States

Today, I finally cracked the password on my husband's email account. I don't know which is worse: finding out your husband is cheating on you with several people, or finding his password includes his ex-girlfriend's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks

63063

You deserved it

24335

Favorite

By StijnDescamps

Today, for the very first time, I invited my girlfriend's parents for dinner. I bought a pre-made oven dish, just to be sure nothing could go wrong. Once at the table, her mother asked pointedly who forgot to remove the plastic foil before putting it in the oven. FML

I agree, your life sucks

711

You deserved it

1880

Favorite

By Anonymous - 23/8/2020 17:09

I'm lovin' it

Today, as usual, I worked at McDonald's. Although I tried to diffuse the situation, an old man was absolutely furious, and punched me in the face over BBQ sauce. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1427

You deserved it

104

Favorite

By LCDRBrownHercules - United States - Lake Elsinore

Today, my 5-year-old daughter sobbed inconsolably on my return home from a several-month long deployment to the Middle East. I was touched by her reaction until she blurted out that she wasn't crying because she missed me, but because my shaved head looked scary ugly. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25697

You deserved it

1969

Favorite

By Annoymous - Australia

Today, walking home from work, I saw a little boy crying, so I crouched down to his eye level. I asked him what was wrong, his reply was to kick me in the groin. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43411

You deserved it

5791

Favorite

By feel so dirty

Today, I asked my husband when he first knew he loved me. He replied, totally honestly, that I was the easiest girl he'd ever managed to talk into a one night stand, only instead of doing the walk of shame the next morning, I stayed so long we ended up married with kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5559

You deserved it

1232

Favorite

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Top comments

By Lalala579121 | 27

#7496144 - Tuesday 18 July 2017 3:26

I thought this site was supposed to be for FMLs, so why do I keep seeing all these things that belong on Tumblr?

By Miss_080 | 21

#7496487 - Tuesday 18 July 2017 8:20

Oh how I relate to this

COMMENTS

By Lalala579121 | 27

#7496144 - Tuesday 18 July 2017 3:26

I thought this site was supposed to be for FMLs, so why do I keep seeing all these things that belong on Tumblr?

By Miss_080 | 21

#7496487 - Tuesday 18 July 2017 8:20

Oh how I relate to this