By FML Approved - France - Issy-les-moulineaux I agree, your life sucks 1844 You deserved it 249 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, after years of marriage and my lazy husband letting himself go, I can now finish a bottle of wine and still be sober. This means I've built immunity to the last thing that can make me want to have sex with him. FML I agree, your life sucks 57179 You deserved it 15453 104 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By carpetoops - United Kingdom Today, I spilt purple washing detergent all over my white carpet. Desperate to get it up I grabbed a blue towel and started mopping it up. The detergent hasn't stained the carpet at all, the blue dye from the towel has. FML I agree, your life sucks 21796 You deserved it 35464 133 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By OmniVore - United Kingdom Today, I went on a date with a great vegan guy in my class. We went to a vegi-restaurant, I dutifully ate all the meatless dishes, but he seemed pissed about something, and other diners kept giving me angry looks. After we left, I realised I'd worn my leather jacket to the date. FML I agree, your life sucks 14280 You deserved it 42651 182 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By shygurl434 - United States Today, the boy I like finally acknowledged me. He came up to me and uttered two words: "Nice pooper." FML I agree, your life sucks 24108 You deserved it 3618 159 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Unloving - United States Today, a man proposed to me in classic style on one knee. Unfortunately, I have been telling this man for the last two months that I don't even want to date him. He thinks I'm playing hard to get and is not giving up. FML I agree, your life sucks 35905 You deserved it 4998 116 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By LGFLIPSTER - Canada Today, I was strolling past an old women when from behind she called "can you help me get the rest of the groceries out of the car?" I approached the car, and helped her un-load bags. She began hitting me, screaming "SOMEONE IS STEALING MY THINGS". She was actually asking her son in the car. FML I agree, your life sucks 44619 You deserved it 6533 96 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Squirt Today, I had a UTI and the doctor said the medicine can sometimes make you leak a little. "Leak a little" apparently translates into peeing all over myself, my boyfriend, and his bed while we were sleeping. The doctor also said this medicine can stain your urine a beautiful, bright orange color. FML I agree, your life sucks 38301 You deserved it 2965 88 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By hannahg - United States - Romulus Today, my dad yelled at me for being irresponsible while he watched me fold his laundry. FML I agree, your life sucks 40328 You deserved it 3790 58 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By hakuna_matata - United States - San Francisco Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after I told her that I'd never watched The Lion King. FML I agree, your life sucks 21034 You deserved it 8892 96 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By xoxo - 1/4/2020 02:00 - United States Miscommunication Today, my boyfriend won't talk to me because I let a giggle slip during sex and he's convinced I was laughing at him. FML I agree, your life sucks 1703 You deserved it 361 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Gemini gang Today, my family surprised me for my birthday by showing up with a chocolate cake and my ex-boyfriend from back home. They all forgot I'm allergic to chocolate, that I broke up with him about a year ago, and that he’s been trying to win me back ever since. FML I agree, your life sucks 2006 You deserved it 93 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By McWhopper - United States - Brookline Today, I found out that maggots can live inside of a saxophone. FML I agree, your life sucks 30509 You deserved it 4336 74 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By swimmonster81 Today, my mother told me how she managed to afford all of the expensive Christmas presents we got. She took out extra money when applying for my student loans. FML I agree, your life sucks 22710 You deserved it 1554 44 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By blind_loser - United States Today, my best guy friend set me up on a blind date. Almost immediately after the guy and I sat down, he excused himself to make a call. A couple of feet away from our table, I heard him say, "Come on, Justin, this is the best you could do??" Over the phone. Justin is the guy who set us up. FML I agree, your life sucks 50585 You deserved it 3298 62 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By blahmina - United States Today, I had to walk home from school in the rain, because my mom "didn't have a car to pick me up in". But when I got home, the car had magically appeared. Just great. FML I agree, your life sucks 23797 You deserved it 2350 25 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By heightdifference - United States - Memphis Today, I met the guy I've been talking to online for two years in real life. He tried to convince me to have his children because they would be average height. He's a midget and I'm 6'2". This is the most romantic thing anybody has ever said to me. FML I agree, your life sucks 48938 You deserved it 5909 102 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By monsterinlaw - United States - Columbus Today, I found out that even after three years, my boyfriend's mother replies, "Unfortunately" when asked if we are still together. FML I agree, your life sucks 44493 You deserved it 4125 79 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By embarrassed - United Kingdom Question Time Today, whilst at my boyfriend's family get together, his cousin got really drunk and decided to ask my boyfriend when he was planning on proposing to me, loud enough for everyone to hear. An awkward silence was followed by my boyfriend's mother, who clearly said "hopefully never." FML I agree, your life sucks 39346 You deserved it 2784 71 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By JackNicholsonInChinatown Today, like most days, my cat tried to wake me up with a gentle, fluffy paw pat on my nose. This morning, however, he managed to get his claw caught inside my nostril. FML I agree, your life sucks 9459 You deserved it 860 19 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By j - United States Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because of my drunken antics. My reaction? Pour myself a stiff drink. FML I agree, your life sucks 9584 You deserved it 56758 199 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mynameislor - Canada Today, my mum was saying she needs to gain weight because she was underweight according to her doctor. She then said she's going to eat like me in order to gain more weight. FML I agree, your life sucks 27161 You deserved it 7386 78 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Coventry Today, I filled up my company car with my own debit card, instead of my fuel card. It was the last £40 I had for the month. FML I agree, your life sucks 21878 You deserved it 6949 44 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Solon Springs Today, a customer punched me in the face for repeating their order back to them because they thought I was making fun of their speech impediment. I have the same speech impediment. FML I agree, your life sucks 40317 You deserved it 2248 134 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By samantha - 23/6/2020 02:02 Humblebrag in disguise Today, while buying drinks, the cashier immediately refused me and said, “Don’t even bother showing me your ID, you’re obviously 12." I’m 31. FML I agree, your life sucks 1542 You deserved it 129 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By crazycatlady1890 - United States - Philadelphia Today, I finished a full marathon and just wanted to relax and get pampered by my husband afterwards. Instead, I spent the evening taking care of him and his back because he had a spasm. Don't worry, he feels much better now. Meanwhile, I can’t move my legs. FML I agree, your life sucks 1663 You deserved it 427 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By askprussia - United States - Pompano Beach Today, my brother was playing one of those old street fighter games. He suddenly asked me what "K.O." meant. I told him it meant "Knocked Out," but he started getting mad at me because "'knocked' isn't spelled with a 'k'". He's 17. FML I agree, your life sucks 23088 You deserved it 1499 62 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom Today, I went to a party dressed as a Pinata. Drunk people tried to hit me all night. FML I agree, your life sucks 10425 You deserved it 56707 97 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By aranya - Netherlands - Hengevelde Today, I went to see a movie with my girlfriend and a few others. Mid-way through, I noticed my girlfriend giving a hand-job to my best friend. I couldn't believe my eyes, and I confronted them. He claimed he had been asleep, she claimed she was mopping up a spill, and I'm now single again. FML I agree, your life sucks 56487 You deserved it 3850 323 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By gimp. - United States Today, I had surgery on my foot. The doctor told me I'd be on crutches for 6 months. I texted my boyfriend the news, promising lots of intimate favors if he'd watch movies with me while on bed rest for the next week. He texted back, "No way. I don't date cripples." Dumped for a broken foot. FML I agree, your life sucks 67192 You deserved it 5245 240 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By themcdave - United Kingdom - Cranfield Today, I woke up early for an important team meeting I needed to attend. I washed, got changed, and sat down to eat breakfast... I then woke up again, an hour late and covered in cereal. FML I agree, your life sucks 25500 You deserved it 4519 72 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By living in the ugly treehouse - Australia Today, while taking the bus home, a girl stared at me for a while before asking me if I'd ever heard of makeup. FML I agree, your life sucks 21453 You deserved it 1733 72 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Missoula Today, I was on a plane flying home and fell asleep. I woke up to my own snoring and everyone on the plane looking at me. FML I agree, your life sucks 12002 You deserved it 1848 26 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By violet - United States Today, I was lying in bed minding my own business when my mom entered the room. I was proposed to a few weeks ago by my boyfriend, and my mom came in to tell me that my boyfriend's mom was on the phone. Turns out, he stole the engagement ring from her drawer. FML I agree, your life sucks 39970 You deserved it 3440 102 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By brutality - Canada Today, I saw a few old co-workers at the bar. They recognized me and started calling me by the nickname they had for me that I was unaware of. It appears I was known as "butch megan" by the entire office for 2 years. FML I agree, your life sucks 41837 You deserved it 4096 61 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By TGIkaty - United States Today, I told my mom I loved her and she asked if I was going to kill myself. FML I agree, your life sucks 43587 You deserved it 3465 24 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Spelit - United States Today, I finished painting my living room. I had to leave the house in a rush. When I got home, I found smears of paint all around and the carpet crusted with paint that had dried. My cat had rubbed up against the walls and tracked it around. FML I agree, your life sucks 24883 You deserved it 13528 181 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lilyann - 24/12/2020 08:01 - United States - San Jose Who knows? Today, the entire back room of Walmart smelled like cat piss. No one else complained, as they all claimed they couldn’t smell a thing under their masks. I, on the other hand, have a headache and nausea from the overpowering scent despite my mask. FML I agree, your life sucks 690 You deserved it 86 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lyinginbed - United Kingdom Today, I was walking through a field with my boyfriend and he picked me some pretty flowers. I hugged him and leant in to sniff them. In doing so, I inhaled a bee up my nose and had to force it out my swollen nostril after it had stung me. FML I agree, your life sucks 13228 You deserved it 1159 28 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I went on a date with a girl. She drove while texting someone then stopped at a house and told me to wait in the car. She left her phone so I looked at the last text and it says "I'm here for the quicky". Our "date" was a decoy to throw her mom off so she could sleep with another guy. FML I agree, your life sucks 73112 You deserved it 4960 224 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By MJB Today, as a 17-year-old, after having gone to the doctor to about some unusual hair loss, it turns out I simply have crappy genetics, and should expect to be fully bald within a year. FML I agree, your life sucks 6926 You deserved it 390 28 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Lobby_Bee | 17 #7491085 - Friday 14 July 2017 8:25 Master procrastinater. Teaching people the ancient art of procrastinate. It's a job, I believe. Send a private message 4 0 Reply
By Lobby_Bee | 17 #7491085 - Friday 14 July 2017 8:25 Master procrastinater. Teaching people the ancient art of procrastinate. It's a job, I believe. Send a private message 4 0 Reply
Today, barely able to pay rent while working 3 jobs, I decided to give in to the idea of making online sex work photos and videos. Everyone else seems... I agree, your life sucks 333 You deserved it 105 3 Comments
Today, I started to cry while masturbating. This isn't the first time that this has happened. FML I agree, your life sucks 398 You deserved it 163 4 Comments