And the FML that made you guys laugh the most is... By Roselyn Cazares Today, I was petting my female hamster when I felt a big mass under her. I immediately thought it was a tumor so I poked it to see if it hurt her. It didn't. Turns out my female hamster is actually a male, and he has really big balls. I touched my hamster's balls. FML I agree, your life sucks 4092 You deserved it 1865 31 Comments Favorite Tweet Share By FML Approved / Friday 28 July 2017 17:16 / France
By Roselyn Cazares Today, I was petting my female hamster when I felt a big mass under her. I immediately thought it was a tumor so I poked it to see if it hurt her. It didn't. Turns out my female hamster is actually a male, and he has really big balls. I touched my hamster's balls. FML I agree, your life sucks 4092 You deserved it 1865 31 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Klamp18 - United States Today, I decided to attach fifteen-pound weights to each foot so I could burn some extra calories while shoveling snow. My dad asked me to move one of the cars in the driveway. When I put my foot on the gas pedal, I couldn't take it off. I ended up hitting my sister and knocking her into a snow bank. FML I agree, your life sucks 10987 You deserved it 54091 153 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Nose Numb - United States Today, for the first time ever, my family bought a real Christmas tree instead of using our old fake one. Today, I also found out I'm allergic to Christmas trees. My family won't get rid of it because they paid so much for it and intend to "get their money's worth". FML I agree, your life sucks 33233 You deserved it 3459 56 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Eli123 - United States Today, I decided to run outside. I noticed a really hot guy mowing his lawn. I ran a couple of laps past him. After a while, when I slowed down, I smiled at him, and he replied You look really hot." I thanked him, and he quickly replied, "No, I mean you're sweating a lot." FML I agree, your life sucks 19464 You deserved it 51706 68 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By thefailwhale - United States - Hartford Today, it was my birthday. When my crush spotted me in the hallway and wished me a Happy Birthday, my nerves got the best of me and I blurted, "You too". FML I agree, your life sucks 30934 You deserved it 5305 119 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By live2dance4ever Today, I went to attend my summer school class again after being out sick for a week. When I said "Here" during roll call, everyone started cheering and clapping. Apparently, my professor has been badmouthing me while I've been absent for pretending to be sick. I'm sure my grade will be fantastic. FML I agree, your life sucks 1607 You deserved it 191 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By zobara - Switzerland Today, after my credit card was stolen, the thief made donations to charitable associations. Now I feel bad for asking for the money back. FML I agree, your life sucks 40990 You deserved it 3898 186 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Kylie - United States Today, at work at daycare, this kid was coughing really bad, so I put my hand in front of his mouth in case he was choking on something so he could spit it out. But nope he wasn't choking, he was sick. He puked right into my hands. FML I agree, your life sucks 13952 You deserved it 28563 89 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By courtnayy - United States Today, I got proposed to. I have been dating my boyfriend for 3 years and we have 2 kids. It was perfect, except it was my ex-boyfriend who proposed to me. FML I agree, your life sucks 50555 You deserved it 5973 117 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By OUCH. - United States Today, I got my braces off. I also got my tongue pierced. Both by my orthodontist. FML I agree, your life sucks 41473 You deserved it 3400 182 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was afraid my mother had seen the bottle of hand lotion I'd forgotten to take off the desk after I'd whacked off last night, but she acted fine. I went out with friends to find she'd had changed the background to say "Please Do Not Watch Porn on the Family Computer." FML I agree, your life sucks 11066 You deserved it 66035 113 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By psychedout - United States Today, a patient was late for a psychiatry appointment, after having missed his previous two. I am the medical student on the team that was supposed to do his assessment. I said, "You snooze, you lose." Everyone stopped and looked at me. Apparently, he missed them because he has narcolepsy. FML I agree, your life sucks 16289 You deserved it 49310 148 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By madzlovesgee - United States Today, my boyfriend and I were "fooling around." It started to get hot and he took out his penis for the first time. This was the first one I've seen in real life so I decided I'd complimented it. I had no idea what to say so I said, "It's pretty." FML I agree, your life sucks 68667 You deserved it 53256 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Today I saw a picture of my ex giving her new boyfriend an extremely familiar ring. Upon zooming in, I realized that it was the engagement ring i gave her that she claimed to have had stolen from her home... FML I agree, your life sucks 2653 You deserved it 166 20 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ilikeirishducks - Italy Today, I had a bath in the bathroom we are currently renovating. There's a big hole in the middle of the floor. When I got out of the bath, I swung one leg across the gap to get a towel from the rack. I drew back my leg and looked down to see my brother's hot friend staring up at me in horror. FML I agree, your life sucks 51716 You deserved it 21046 278 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By smf_ds - Portugal - Rebordosa Today, I witnessed my dad spreading his ass cheeks to show my mom the rashes his hemorrhoids are giving him. FML I agree, your life sucks 24997 You deserved it 2187 48 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By brokenkneechick - United States Today, I called the campus police to give me a ride to the cafeteria since I am on crutches from knee surgery. I was only halfway into the car when the man started driving and ran over my foot. Now neither my right knee or my left foot work. FML I agree, your life sucks 43394 You deserved it 2209 20 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco Today, neither I nor any of my coworkers understand why our boss hates me enough that I feel the need to carry pepperspray on me at all times. FML I agree, your life sucks 19959 You deserved it 1591 40 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Reeen - United States - Pittsboro Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via text, right after I finished cleaning his apartment and dropping off a bunch of booze I bought for a big party we were having. It turns out that big party was his "newly single" party. FML I agree, your life sucks 17573 You deserved it 1212 82 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Lawrenceville Today, my boyfriend wrote me a love letter saying about how much he cares for me, how he'd die for me and how he wants to spend his life with me. What really took my breath away was the confession at the end about how he "accidentally" cheated on me with my best friend. FML I agree, your life sucks 23007 You deserved it 1580 83 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fuckina - United States Today, I was speeding a little on the highway. I thought I saw a police car, so I slammed on my brakes, causing the person behind me to rear end me. The "police car" I saw was just a broken down car on the side of the road. FML I agree, your life sucks 6869 You deserved it 49358 152 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, a customer complained that one of our cashiers smiles too much. FML I agree, your life sucks 10631 You deserved it 790 26 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By TCRII - United States - Springfield Today, it's the first day of our honeymoon. My bride just informed me that she invited her ex-husband to come, so he can spend time with the kids. He will be here in 4 hours. FML I agree, your life sucks 2466 You deserved it 238 18 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I drove my new car with a manual transmission for the first time by myself. I was at a stoplight and saw a cute guy in the car next to me. He looked my way and gave me "the nod". The light turned green and I tried to go but I stalled out, lurching my car forward right into the car next to me. FML I agree, your life sucks 8280 You deserved it 26648 66 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada - Halifax Today, I finally found out why my husband is always so eager and happy to buy me whatever I am craving during my pregnancy. It's because it gives him an excuse to meet up with his mistress and have a quickie. FML I agree, your life sucks 62520 You deserved it 4029 135 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Kit - United Kingdom - Swindon Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. He told me he was a dinosaur. FML I agree, your life sucks 47043 You deserved it 5889 132 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jesushelpme - United States - Nixa Today, I came home to find an almost completely devoured cheesecake, The Notebook playing on the TV, and a shoe thrown at my head. It's safe to say my girlfriend is just about on her period. FML I agree, your life sucks 32034 You deserved it 5561 281 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I found out that my daughter has a hit list. There are over thirty names on there. My name is on it as well. FML I agree, your life sucks 26249 You deserved it 3826 135 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By The_FN_Gunny - United States - Smyrna Today, I was wearing a letterman jacket that had my school name and "Okinawa Japan" on the back. A high school kid walks up to me and says, "I can't forgive you people for bombing Pearl Harbor." I'm black. FML I agree, your life sucks 47271 You deserved it 4129 188 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By FML - United States Today, my boyfriend forced me to climb out through his window, because he was too embarrassed at the thought of his room-mate finding out I'd spent the night. FML I agree, your life sucks 33709 You deserved it 5466 138 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anonymous - United States Today, I was uninvited to a bachelorette party. I wouldn't really care, if the party hadn't been for me, ahead of my wedding tomorrow. FML I agree, your life sucks 49721 You deserved it 3936 110 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Australia Today, my boyfriend asked my father for permission to marry me. My father refused, on the basis that I'm the only person in the house with a job, and if I leave he will have to start looking for work. My boyfriend won't marry me without his permission, and my lazy father won't change his mind. FML I agree, your life sucks 45335 You deserved it 3607 238 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By AW Today, my husband and I are both suffering from food poisoning. He has horrible, raging, rank smelling, explosive diarrhea; I am vomiting every 15 minutes. We have one bathroom. FML I agree, your life sucks 39560 You deserved it 3010 93 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By badtimingdude - Mauritius Today, I lost a bet with my girlfriend. I now have to wear a shirt saying "Worlds Smallest Penis" everywhere I go for a month. FML I agree, your life sucks 21495 You deserved it 66943 198 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Salida Today, I went back to work after a horrible bout of respiratory illness. After a few hours of using hot tea, cough drops, and tissues to deal with my lingering cough, I found out that my asshole coworker has filed a formal complaint about me disrupting her concentration. FML I agree, your life sucks 45878 You deserved it 4248 98 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, for my birthday, someone left a big bottle of mouth wash on my desk with a big bow on it. FML I agree, your life sucks 43252 You deserved it 18036 97 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Barrington Today, I decided to try wearing eyeshadow, even though I'm not that girly. When I asked for help after several failed attempts, my sister walked in and said, "It's easy, just do what I do." She put the makeup on herself and looked amazing. She's eight. FML I agree, your life sucks 52905 You deserved it 6828 129 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Soopa-Genius - Canada Today, the new office IT guy figured the best way to get the virus off my computer was to wipe my entire hard drive. He was kind enough to back my data up and restore everything from the backups. Including the virus. FML I agree, your life sucks 31364 You deserved it 2672 116 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By StellaSanguina - United States Today, a buttmunch customer brought in $7 worth of pennies I had to count and roll. As I was putting them in the deposite box at the end of my shift, I fumbled and dropped the rolls. All but one broke, spilling their contents on the floor. FML I agree, your life sucks 35281 You deserved it 6753 126 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Australia - Sandringham Today, I realised that I only get dandruff when I'm stressed about having dandruff. Which is whenever I have dandruff. FML I agree, your life sucks 23107 You deserved it 4226 141 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ThePopeMan - United States Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she started moaning and breathing heavily. I thought she was getting hot and was about to cum. Unfortunetly, she soon said, "I'm bored, let's play a board game." She was sighing, not moaning. FML I agree, your life sucks 68961 You deserved it 22998 109 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By FlutterLoud | 29 #7514899 - Monday 31 July 2017 1:28 Don't worry, I've been there except with a pet mouse ? I thought something was wrong with her cause she didn't have such huge balls when I got her lol Send a private message 2 0 Reply
By Cali | 54 #7517046 - Tuesday 1 August 2017 11:29 Oh my god that photo is ridiculous. Send a private message Reply
By FlutterLoud | 29 #7514899 - Monday 31 July 2017 1:28 Don't worry, I've been there except with a pet mouse ? I thought something was wrong with her cause she didn't have such huge balls when I got her lol Send a private message 2 0 Reply
By Cali | 54 #7517046 - Tuesday 1 August 2017 11:29 Oh my god that photo is ridiculous. Send a private message Reply
Today, like every other day for the past two weeks, my husband was not in the mood for sex. He told me this while masturbating. FML I agree, your life sucks 194 You deserved it 22 3 Comments
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me after finding out that I opened an Onlyfans account. FML I agree, your life sucks 212 You deserved it 1366 9 Comments