A shitty jogger is begged by neighbors and police: Stop taking dumps in public places, you loon!

In Colorado Springs in the USA, a runner is leaving droppings while jogging, and people in the neighborhood are at their wits end. It seems that she's shameless in her waste management, leaving her steaming turds for all to see. She's now attracted the attention of the police, as well as the media.

She's been called "The Mad Pooper", and she makes a mess wherever she goes.

This scatological surname is due to the fact that she lets her bowels loose wherever she goes, leaving turds all over the place. This sounds like the start of a joke, but it's no joke to the people who have to live in amongst her random dropoffs. You have to watch where you're stepping in Colorado Springs. 

Cathy Budde, an inhabitant of the Colorado Springs neighborhood told her story to local TV station KKTV that her children originally saw the "lady taking a poop." Budde remembers shouting out to her "Are you serious? Are you really taking a poop right here in front of my kids?" The weirdo replied, "Yeah, sorry!" then ran off. 

The trail doesn't end there.

A few days later, the mad jogger does it again, this time also leaving dirty tissue behind, as if she'd prepared herself to deposit her load/ According to the Budde family, this has been occurring at least once a week for the past two months, despite the family putting up a signpost begging her to stop being such a disgusting excuse for a human being. 

She's been caught several times on surveillance cameras, but nobody knows who the mysterious shitter is… 

Here's what the cameras have recorded so far:

"It's abnormal, it's not something I've seen in my career."

Sgt. Sharketti, who isn't a shark-infested pasta dish, told KKTV, "For somebody to repeatedly do such a thing… it's uncharted territory for me." He also speculates that this could be due to mental health issues, or a personal vendetta. Since the start of this whole business of someone doing their business where they shouldn't be, other inhabitants of the town have claimed to have seen her dropping her shorts and curling one out in front of places like a drugstore or in other public parks, which contain toilets open to the public. So there's no excuse for her behaviour.

What could happen to her?

Besides someone grabbing her and shoving her face in her turds like a puppy being trained, public defecation is an offence in the USA, and could come with a 60-day jail sentence, even a public decency violation (made worse by the fact that she exposed herself to children) which could land her in jail for 6 months with a $500 fine.

Let's all hope that this shithead is caught, and quickly.

By FML / Thursday 21 September 2017 16:22 / France
Add a comment
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Create my account Sign in
Top comments
By  pjsr  |  32

This could be a Charmin story about life in a Northern state. However, instead of needing a tissue to wipe away a tear, I'm thinking, 'Great Scott, this stinks!'

  boopingsnoot  |  23

You need other DNA samples to compare it to. The easiest basic comparison, gel electrophoresis, needs to have all the samples processed together for an accurate comparison.

By  Madrias  |  36

Sounds like someone's life is a mess, they think they're a princess and above the law. Someone confine her to the throne room with the shiny metal seat and the birch-bark wiping paper, please!