20 First Date Disaster Stories That Will Make You Prefer To Just Stay Home
You fidget, you push your food around with a fork, you sit in awkward silences while you wait for the clock to run out. You think: what sort of doped-up version of me said yes to a date with this person? Suddenly, you regret every decision that has led you to this painfully dull moment. Unsurprisingly, everyone has a story just like this. But oftentimes it’s much, much worse than your average, run-of-the-mill bad date.
It's Hashtags time! Tweet out your funny or embarrassing first date story and tag it with #WorstFirstDate. Could be on the show!— jimmy fallon (@jimmyfallon) January 10, 2018
Here are 20 of our favorites.
1. At least someone got lucky.
Was out on a date with a guy who said he had no money and borrowed $10 to buy a drink at a convenient store. Came back with a scratch-off, won $60 and took me home since I wouldn’t go to the strip club with “his winnings”#WorstFirstDate— ChelseaThrash (@Chelseathrash1) January 10, 2018
2. Is this thing on?
Went on a date with a guy from the internet who had zero personality or humor. About an hour in, i was done, so i hit him with “i bet by looking at me you couldn’t tell i have a peen.” I had to catch a ride back home but it was worth it. #WorstFirstDate— bri lyrac (@BornToBriWild) January 10, 2018
3. And by their 10th anniversary, she could finally pick him out of a crowd.
On my first date with my now wife, she walked into the restaurant and proceeded to walk around the whole place because she had forgotten what I looked like. I eventually waved her down after letting her walk and look around for 5 minutes #WorstFirstDate— Cassidy (@_Cx2_) January 10, 2018
4. Toe Nailed-it.
Stubbed my toe walking into the bar to meet him and had to leave once I realized my shoe had filled with blood. After I couldn't get the bleeding to stop I spent 8 hours in the ER for a broken toe that needed 10 stitches. Still got a second date though. 💁🏻♀️ #WorstFirstDate— Alida Banh (@AlidaBanh) January 10, 2018
5. Smells like true love.
I was really into this guy but i was so nervous, well this is our first conversation:— Jordan In a coma Ik Its serious (@jordancohen2u) January 10, 2018
Guy: you smell good
Me: thanks I use both of my nostrils #WorstFirstDate
6. Speeding through dinner.
In college, a friend set me up on a blind date. I wasn’t in a great mood because I had received a traffic ticket a few hours before. My day got worse when my blind date turned out to be the cop who gave me the ticket. #WorstFirstDate @jimmyfallon— Linda Childers (@lindachilders1) January 10, 2018
7. This is moving a little too fast.
I was in 8th grade and at an amusement park with my girlfriend. We went on the Scrambler ride, and somehow my pants became caught on a bolt. By the time the ride was done my pants were completely torn off. #WorstFirstDate 🚫 👖— Dustin Pari (@dustinpari) January 10, 2018
8. She should have ordered chicken.
While at dinner, I couldn't decide between the sea bass and the salmon so I asked the waiter "how is your semen?" Absolutely mortifying. #WorstFirstDate— Meredith Allison (@RockTique) January 10, 2018
9. When pizza is endgame.
I went to a fancy restaurant thinking I was looking quite cute. When I introduced myself at the bar, my date said, "I thought you'd be thinner." I grabbed his drink, poured it in his lap, said, "I thought you'd be smarter." I left and ate pizza that night.#worstfirstdate— Catherine Adel West (@cawest329) January 10, 2018
10. Any Tom Dick or Harry will do.
I once showed up to a date, 10 of her friend’s were there with her & they had no idea I was coming. She was blackout wasted & introduced me as “Tom.” When I corrected her she said “oh yeah Tom is tomorrow night” #WorstFirstDate— Chris Millhouse (@ChrisMillhouse) January 10, 2018
11. She really fell for him.
#WorstFirstDate I got out of the car and fell on my face in a Jimmy Johns parking lot. He laughed and didn’t help me up. He’s now married with a child. But at least my sub was good.— Morgan Parslow (@M_Parslow) January 10, 2018
12. United in garlicky matrimony.
In college got invited to a girls house for a "home cooked' meal . Recipe called for 2 cloves of garlic, she used 2 HEADS of garlic...sweated out garlic for a month...all's well that ends well...married almost 30 years...still can't cook though! #WorstFirstDate— Gerry Carlin (@GerryCarlin) January 10, 2018
13. Well, the date was a smash.
Hit her with my car. Enough said. #WorstFirstDate— Jon Sosis (@FunnyJS) January 10, 2018
14. When "keeping it in the family" takes on a whole new meaning.
15. This is why your doctor reccomends a solid 8 hours every night.
She drove an hour and a half to meet me for dinner. I missed the whole date because I was sleeping. She kindly rescheduled the date and I slept through that one also. #WorstFirstDate— Chandler morrison (@Chandler_117) January 10, 2018
16. When your date thinks the other woman is your mom.
First date in high school: we were out at dinner & I kept on feeling something funny in my sweater. My date commented on my “fidgeting” & was completely shocked as I reached up my sleeve to pull out a pair of my moms panties! Now I do my own laundry! ;)#worstfirstdate— Marc Lemieux (@Lemieux24) January 10, 2018
17. At least she's moved on?
18. A family affair.
He brought his parents(he was 25)!! If that’s not bad enough half way through the meal his mom asked me if I was going to finish mine, while taking tinfoil out of her bag to wrap up my food, for her to take home! #WorstFirstDate— Kelly Scicluna (@KellyScicluna) January 10, 2018
19. A whole other kind of "double date."
He took me to a restaurant and went to the bathroom a lot and stepped out often to take calls. I thought it was weird, and then the waiter said “you know he’s at another table with a blonde woman right?”. he had 2 first dates at once #worstfirstdate— kelsey 🍀 (@see_kel) January 10, 2018
20. When the restaurant claps back.
My #worstfirstdate is one time he told me to “dress up real nice” and then he took me to Waffle House.— Melissa Hester (@Mhester25) January 10, 2018
Yes. We have pie.— Waffle House (@WaffleHouse) January 15, 2018