18 Of The Funniest Tweets From This Week To Hopefully Defrost Your Souls
1. Good question honestly who comes up with these things?
the icarly episode when they break into their teachers house and find out she has a room dedicated to randy jackson. like what who wrote that
— Natalie Ray (@_natalieray) February 25, 2018
2. Seems like the logical assumption to make.
Just spotted a cat on someone's porch, miaowing to be let in. Without thinking, I walked up to the door, rang the bell, nodded to the cat and left. It was only I rounded the corner I realised what I'd done as I heard the owner shouting FUCK ME SARAH THE CAT JUST RANG THE DOORBELL
— Philip Larkin (@philiplarkin) February 24, 2018
3.Oh shit no one tell PETA or this toddler is going to jail.
I've watched this GIF at least 100 times now, cry-laughing the entire time. pic.twitter.com/Hih7VJe28T
— Helen 侯-Sandí (@helenhousandi) February 23, 2018
4....They got me. I was hooked.
13 year olds now days smoke weed, drink, and eat tide pods
— Sam⚡️Clark (@SamClark_23) February 28, 2018
when I was 13, I had my first love, therewasnobodythatcomparedtomybabyandnobodycamebetweenusorcouldevercomeabove
5. This must be real love.
romance isn’t dead pic.twitter.com/OyVetkO14j
— nicole ✨ (@nicolexrocco_) February 26, 2018
6. Anyone have a tissue because we're crying from laughter over here.
Nacho had heard stories of the evil couch monster, but never thought it would come for him. pic.twitter.com/17g94xkXR3
— Clint Falin (@ClintFalin) February 27, 2018
7. Damn millenials!
*gets hit by a car*
— diego (@shadesof666) February 25, 2018
Passerby: "ARE YOU OKAY?"
Me: "Please... I need my... phone"
*opens Twitter*
Me: "LMFAOOOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT"
8. True story.
me 5 years ago: the internet isnt your diary sweetie(:
— 🍒 (@scamful) February 27, 2018
me now: whats up twitter today i cried in a mcdonald’s bathroom
9. She has spoken, and she has spoken correctly.
The egg don’t swim to the sperm bitch never chase a man
— hanaaa (@hanamurray3) February 27, 2018
10. Let all us garbage brethren unite.
Twitter is really the only app I can deal with. Facebook everybody’s happy. Instagram everybody’s perfect. Snapchat everybody’s lip syncing to songs they don't know. This app will always be home to me because we’re all trash.
— j ø j ø 🍉 (@cloutboyjojo) February 26, 2018
11. Gru???
i honestly thought those were your legs https://t.co/WN6SbOoATh
— Shafeeq (@Y2SHAF) February 24, 2018
12. Wait, scratch that other tweet. THIS has gotta be love.
My marriage has turned into a nightly routine of my wife and I running down the list of reasons we should go to bed early so we can wake up and get shit done the next day, then by the 675th cat gif on reddit we both yell “how the fuck is it 3am?!” Worth it. I love her.
— T-Pain (@TPAIN) February 28, 2018
13. You know we gotta throw in at least one of these every week!
How to beat your face:
— ashley (@kimkarASHlian) February 25, 2018
Moisturize
Eyebrows
Primer
Eye makeup
Foundation
Concealer
We overthrow
Men at
Midnight
Set/bake
Contour
Blush
Highlight
Lips
Setting spray
14. Hello 911 yes I'd like to report a break in.
Two things:
— brena. (@brenaclifton) February 24, 2018
1. I don’t have a cat............
2. I DON’T HAVE A CAT pic.twitter.com/6WQRIQpA86
15.This week's Most Relatable Tweet™
me: i'll do it at 6
— K y l e (@KyIlIle) February 25, 2018
time: 6:05
me: wow looks like i gotta wait till 7 now
16. Think before you tweet, friends.
ok John Smith pic.twitter.com/NhWbhZaeO6
— miku (@mzzystar) February 26, 2018
