17 FMLs About People Whose Puppies Had Them in Over Their Heads
If you love little puppers like we do, then you should care about this holiday.
Since it’s National Puppy Mill Awareness Day, why not rescue a puppy from a puppy mill! If you are in no state to care for a puppy right now, absolutely do not rescue a puppy from a puppy mill. That way, you’re honoring Responsible Dog Ownership Day! You see, there is really no way to fail at this holiday.
It is, however, very possible to fail at being a puppy owner. Many people don’t realize how much work it takes to train and housebreak a puppy, or they underestimate how much energy a puppy has.
These people learned the hard way…
1. Here's a perfect example of a guy who has more puppy than he can handle.
Today, my wife and I went to the airport to pick up the new German Shepherd puppy that we agreed to get, making it 4 dogs in the family. I don't remember agreeing to also get 4 Great Dane puppies, bringing the total to 8 dogs. FML
2. That's just how much he likes your face. He's claimed you!
Today, while at work for a dog groomer, I picked up a new puppy that came in for a groom. I held it up at face level with me, baby talking it, when it promptly began peeing. Luckily, it didn't get on my clothes. Unluckily, it got onto my face and into my mouth. FML
3. But why are your children playing with slime?
Today, I woke up early in the morning when it was still dark to go off to work. I saw what looked like a piece of slime that my children would play with and went to pick it up. Nope. Turns out it was puppy shit. Wet, slimy puppy waste. FML
4. I bet your puppy loved that game!
Today, my 4-month-old puppy made a break for it as soon as I opened the front door. I had to run after her barefoot, in just my dressing gown. It was raining. I fell over, forgot to break my fall and skidded along the unsurfaced road. She came back on her own while I was was laid on the floor. FML
5. The little ones are mischievous.
Today, I finally realized why my 9-week-old puppy was going to the bathroom so much. I went to pick up the food bag and realized she had chewed a hole in the bottom, and eaten half of the bag in the last 4 days. Goodbye 30 pounds of dog food, and 100$ for a vet visit. FML
6. Call it art.
Today, I finally tested out my new robot vacuum cleaner. My puppy decided she would test it out too by leaving a brown surprise for it to find, which it did. There are now brown marks in every room of the house. FML
7. I, too, throw up everywhere when I get too excited.
8. Your brother is shaping up to be heartless.
Today, my puppy went missing. I found him, unconscious but thankfully alive, in a taped-up box with no holes. My little brother eventually confessed to doing it because he wanted to sell my puppy on eBay. FML
9. "Smeared spaghetti"
10. At least she's trying to learn.
Today, whilst still trying to potty train my puppy and keep her from both peeing and pooping in the house, my lactose intolerance kicked in full fledge. Every time I pass gas, she smells poop and believes it's okay to immediately drop a deuce on the carpet. FML
11. She wants to keep them warm for you! That's sweet.
Today, no matter how many toys and teddies she has, and no matter how much I punish her, I am most likely never going to be able to break my 10-week-old puppy's habit of stealing my underwear. She doesn't eat them or even chew on them. She steals them to sleep with. FML
12. He was warned.
Today, I was at Petsmart with my puppy. Someone tried to pet him. I tried to warn the guy that he is a rescue and doesn't trust easily. He didn't listen and now wants to sue me for a dog bite that didn't even break the skin. FML
13. You've got a smart cookie there, eh?
Today, my 11-year-old daughter heard the quote, "If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it's yours forever. If it doesn't, then it was never meant to be." She decided to test this out by letting our new puppy out of the front door. FML
14. It's a good thing puppies are so cute.
Today, after spending four hours cooking food for a special family dinner, I went to take a shower before they arrived. I came back out less than twenty minutes later to find most of the food gone, and a very guilty-looking puppy. FML
15. Well I bet you wouldn't like that either!
Today, I walked in on my new puppy peeing on the carpet. The trainer had told me to punish her when she's bad by shaking a metal can of pennies at her, since the noise scares dogs. I shook it at her, and she responded by having explosive diarrhea all over the carpet in fright. FML
16. I'm sorry, $200?!
17. It does look like a chew toy...
My advice: consider your situation and prepare before you take on a new best friend. Do it for the puppies!