15 Of The Funniest Tweets From This Week Before Heading Into Monday
1. George Orwell where you at?
La Croix tastes like the only soft drink they'd allow in a dystopian future where no one is allowed to have emotions
— Brandon Sutton (@PrettyBadLefty) February 10, 2018
2. Do you think it's too late to send a follow up email?
It's been 4 years since my job interview.
— Cole Buer (@coIehearted) February 11, 2018
I'm beginning to suspect they chose someone else
3. This week's Most Relatable Tweet™
why did my parents make me think it was illegal to turn a light on inside a car while driving throughout my entire childhood
— jarrett (@JarrettsPosts) February 12, 2018
4. Everyone's AIM profile ever.
some relatable quote account in 2009: s(he) be(lie)ve(d)
— john (@Scarlet4UrMa) February 11, 2018
my 13 yr old ass: pic.twitter.com/EfvOcNMv5a
5. And then this knowledge is immediately deleted afterwards.
Me my entire life: Barely realizes snowboarding exists
— Riane Konc (@theillustrious) February 11, 2018
Me 2 days into the Olympics: If McMorris thinks he's getting on the podium with anything less than a clean 1620 toe grab, he's a fool
6. Harry Potter, except realistic as hell.
Voldemort: I’m here to kill Harry Pott- [struggling to open baby gate]
— FirstTimeDad (@NewDadNotes) February 11, 2018
James Potter: push down and then pull back
Voldemort: I am [still struggling]
Lily Potter: jiggle it he needs to jiggle it
Voldemort: I AM JIGGLING IT; You know what forget it I’ll come back when he’s 10
7. Fire safety is important but so is getting a good night's sleep okay...
well i'm sold pic.twitter.com/2ofnSRZiMF
— juan (@juanbuis) February 11, 2018
8. Silence is golden.
When you speak two language but start losing both vocabulary in both of them
— ʝazz (@seulchurene) February 11, 2018
Byelingual
9. This is the stuff of nightmares.
Me on the outside vs me on the inside pic.twitter.com/WqIO6Fh0ZB
— Matteo (@MatteoGenota) February 12, 2018
10. Honestly guys can you lighten up a little?
ME, watching the olympic ice dancing: this is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my life. this is the pinnacle of human achievement. i am weeping
— lust-cait of the gutters (@chaeronaea) February 11, 2018
ANNOUNCER: this pathetic worm held her arm kind of weird on the landing. she has shamed her country and family
ME: oh. okay
11. I live here now. Send mother my love.
we went to waffle house at 2 am and it was super icy outside so the workers gave us serving trays to go sledding outside of the restaurant, and our waitress took my phone and charged it when it died. its not a waffle house but a waffle home.
— sarah!! (@sarahhhclifton) February 11, 2018
12. Safety first.
This gif kills me. Death is literally gushing towards you and you really gon do a whole 3-point turn 😩 pic.twitter.com/V1uJOJTyBV
— zander (@finah) February 10, 2018
13. This is why millenials are terrified of procreating.
wait till the end..... 😳 pic.twitter.com/MYy37dtPhX
— dibby (@chrysantizzle) February 10, 2018
14. "MY VOTE DOESN'T COUNT" -Your MCM.
Your MCM signed a petition to bring back the old Snapchat... He didn’t bother to register to vote for the 2016 Presidential Election. He 22.
— RUCKlN (@RUCKlN) February 10, 2018
15. It is now a weapon.
I broke an apple slicer and made a very dangerous apple. pic.twitter.com/yGSzZA6ljL
— Mr. Drinks On Me (@Mr_DrinksOnMe) February 11, 2018
