15 Hilariously Creepy Tweets About The FBI Agent Watching You That Will Remind You That You’re Never Alone
You’d think people would be more upset about the government spying on us, but after everything that’s gone down in the last couple years, we’re all pretty much dead inside. At least, people on Twitter are.
All things considered, it makes sense that with nothing left to lose and no pride left to protect, the idea that we each have an assigned FBI agent watching our every move through our computer and phone cameras would be not protested, but welcomed. I mean, they know more about you than arguably anyone else, and you definitely spend more time with them than anyone else. So doesn’t that make them...a friend?
The answer is no. But this is the internet and the netizens have lost the capacity to care, just as they’ve lost the capacity to give a fuck. This is just what it’s come to.
Enter: Mr. FBI Man
1. smh people always expecting too much from me
Me: *opens laptop*— Alex Gonzalez (@aleksglz8) January 28, 2018
FBI Agent: Oh he’s finally gonna do his homework
Me: *Opens up Netflix and disappoints yet another person in my life*
2. I thought we were bros
The amount of times I’ve fallen asleep at my laptop and my assigned FBI agent never even tried to help finish my essays smh— jazmina (@jazminelahbabi) January 29, 2018
3. You can always count on Gerald
I was about to accept a friend request from my high school bully and my tab closed... Gerald, the fbi agent spying on me, is looking out.— "Sarah Schauer" (@SJSchauer) January 29, 2018
4. That was clutch
Saw one of the cutest girls i’ve ever seen in my life on campus today, got home and she came up on my Instagram explore page. Say what you want about the FBI guy watching me through my phone but my iphone camera just got a knuckle touch, we fam now FBI guy belieeee dat— Stavy Appleseed (@The_Real_StavE) January 29, 2018
5. Talk about winning the lottery
Beyoncé: *purchases new laptop and uses it for the first time*— kay. (@beyoncehatesme) January 31, 2018
The FBI Agent that's assigned to her: pic.twitter.com/pxU0GRJwYH
6. I'm ready for you Mr. FBI man
Me after realizing the fbi man watching through my webcam has seen me without hijab and now he has to marry me pic.twitter.com/SFwYoy3MX7— farha (@shutyourhell) January 26, 2018
7. Like what you see?
Flirting with the FBI agent watching me pic.twitter.com/0VEJ1iGHOk— lil miss butterworth (@KhadiDon) January 30, 2018
8. I know you like what you see
I don’t have a sticker over my laptop camera because if Britney Spears taught me one thing from her pop masterpiece ‘circus’ it’s that there’s only 2 types of people in the world the ones who entertain and the ones that observe....AND I’m here to give the U.S. government A SHOW— owen⚡️ (@xowenm) January 29, 2018
9. Goals tho
My boyfriend: *leaves the room*— Josh Hall (@joshwillhall) January 28, 2018
The fbi agent in my webcam: No I totally see what you mean.
Me: right? He's weird today. How's your husband?
FBI agent: he wants us to open our marriage
Me: that's rough janet.
10. Watch me do my dance
me trying to entertain the fbi agent watching me because they probably bored pic.twitter.com/1dWd2TVWoP— revil (@jinjjarevil) January 31, 2018
11. Pay it forward, my agent-friend
Sometimes before I leave the house I wave to my laptop camera just to brighten the day of the FBI agent. Friendliness is contagious you know.— Cole M. Sprouse (@colesprouse) January 26, 2018
12. I know you know my location
hey fbi agent in my webcam can you send me an edible arrangement i’m having a pretty rough week— ryan (@yeetztweetz) January 26, 2018
13. Not what you bargained for, eh?
The FBI agent assigned to my laptop hearing the office theme song for the 50th time in one day pic.twitter.com/5KmfgqeegH— waitamini (@darIingemini) January 29, 2018
14. Fool me once...
15. I knew you cared
me, peeling tape off webcam: hey guys whats apoptosis mean?— lily jackson (@lilyzella) December 5, 2017
little FBI voice within my computer: programmed cell death.
me: thanks roger. tell the family happy holidays
roger, the FBI man: will do. please get more sleep