1. When you just haven't found the one yet.

A snap from Team Snapchat https://t.co/r0FfD0pNvS

— Jer-in (@JGotTheJuice_) January 21, 2018

2. That's some superhuman strength.  

Been dating the same girl for 5yrs and I always keep her picture in my wallet. Whenever I face difficulties in life I take out my wallet and stare at her picture. And it comforts me knowing that if I can survive being in a relationship with this psychopath I can survive anything

— Josh (@JoshAyyLmao) January 22, 2018

3. When the front door closes, the pants come off. 

how do people chill at home wearing jeans??? i literally cannot think of anything worse

— Shafeeq (@Y2SHAF) January 22, 2018

4. Come on it, I'm open.

me when someone tries to get to know me pic.twitter.com/HyrAcHhnzv

— soft lesbian™ (@mijukusdreamer) January 23, 2018

5. Thanks for tuning in.

*kisses laptop webcam before bed*
goodnight mr fbi man

— a w a b (@iAwab) January 19, 2018

6. He who said the rhyme did the crime. 

cop: your car smells like weed

me: whoever smelt it, dealt it

cop: oh shit

me: you’re under arrest

— j ø j ø 🍉 (@cloutboyjojo) January 23, 2018

7. What are you, a monster?!

It’s ok to be white.
It’s ok to be black.
It’s ok to be asian.
It’s ok to be hispanic.
It’s ok to be female.
It’s ok to be male.
It’s ok to be gay.
It’s ok to be straight.
It’s ok to be YOU.

But it's NEVER okay to use 3-in-1 shampoo/conditioner/bodywash

— enabler (@Troyavision) January 20, 2018

8. The timing is right. 

Me: there’s nothing else to do about the government shutdown

Me after 4 glasses of wine: pic.twitter.com/QEkPcB1cjw

— Mario (@mtehuitz) January 20, 2018

9. This time we're gonna get funky.

If a cop yells “freeze” you can yell back “now everybody clap your hands” and he is required by law to start clapping or else he will be arrested for treason and possible deported from the country

— Anson. (@ansontm) January 23, 2018

10. Conditions are still frigid. 

we are now entering the third month of january

— أسود (@nasmaraj) January 22, 2018

11. *smiles slyly to self*

how i feel after making a good joke pic.twitter.com/EFoSfEsHRk

— josh (@yunginstitution) January 19, 2018

12. What a work of art! 

"Use your own words, don't just copy from the text book"
Book: "she was born in 1978"
Me: "1978 is the year in which she was born"

— College Student (@ColIegeStudent) January 23, 2018

13. Would you watch it?

FRIENDS 2018 PLOTLINES
-Joey eats Tide pods, goes to hospital (guest star Ellen Pompeo)
-Chandler won't shut up about how funny his Vines were
-Ed Sheeran cameo interrupts Phoebe's Central Perk set
-Ross gets everyone into Bitcoin
-The One Where The Gang Realizes Their Privilege

— Netflix US (@netflix) January 24, 2018

14. Never again.

*goes to school without headphones once* pic.twitter.com/6IOk71oCCw

— Kaiden (@LeftOnDelivered) January 21, 2018

15. And that shit stopped your breathing.

But nobody cared when my generation was choking on cinnamon https://t.co/h0dnh0KMtD

— Raina Wansick (@makeitrainuh) January 22, 2018