15 Funny Tweets To See You Out Of This Seemingly Endless Month
1. When you just haven't found the one yet.
A snap from Team Snapchat https://t.co/r0FfD0pNvS— Jer-in (@JGotTheJuice_) January 21, 2018
2. That's some superhuman strength.
Been dating the same girl for 5yrs and I always keep her picture in my wallet. Whenever I face difficulties in life I take out my wallet and stare at her picture. And it comforts me knowing that if I can survive being in a relationship with this psychopath I can survive anything— Josh (@JoshAyyLmao) January 22, 2018
3. When the front door closes, the pants come off.
how do people chill at home wearing jeans??? i literally cannot think of anything worse— Shafeeq (@Y2SHAF) January 22, 2018
4. Come on it, I'm open.
me when someone tries to get to know me pic.twitter.com/HyrAcHhnzv— soft lesbian™ (@mijukusdreamer) January 23, 2018
5. Thanks for tuning in.
*kisses laptop webcam before bed*— a w a b (@iAwab) January 19, 2018
goodnight mr fbi man
6. He who said the rhyme did the crime.
cop: your car smells like weed— j ø j ø 🍉 (@cloutboyjojo) January 23, 2018
me: whoever smelt it, dealt it
cop: oh shit
me: you’re under arrest
7. What are you, a monster?!
It’s ok to be white.— enabler (@Troyavision) January 20, 2018
It’s ok to be black.
It’s ok to be asian.
It’s ok to be hispanic.
It’s ok to be female.
It’s ok to be male.
It’s ok to be gay.
It’s ok to be straight.
It’s ok to be YOU.
But it's NEVER okay to use 3-in-1 shampoo/conditioner/bodywash
8. The timing is right.
Me: there’s nothing else to do about the government shutdown— Mario (@mtehuitz) January 20, 2018
Me after 4 glasses of wine: pic.twitter.com/QEkPcB1cjw
9. This time we're gonna get funky.
If a cop yells “freeze” you can yell back “now everybody clap your hands” and he is required by law to start clapping or else he will be arrested for treason and possible deported from the country— Anson. (@ansontm) January 23, 2018
10. Conditions are still frigid.
we are now entering the third month of january— أسود (@nasmaraj) January 22, 2018
11. *smiles slyly to self*
how i feel after making a good joke pic.twitter.com/EFoSfEsHRk— josh (@yunginstitution) January 19, 2018
12. What a work of art!
"Use your own words, don't just copy from the text book"— College Student (@ColIegeStudent) January 23, 2018
Book: "she was born in 1978"
Me: "1978 is the year in which she was born"
13. Would you watch it?
FRIENDS 2018 PLOTLINES— Netflix US (@netflix) January 24, 2018
-Joey eats Tide pods, goes to hospital (guest star Ellen Pompeo)
-Chandler won't shut up about how funny his Vines were
-Ed Sheeran cameo interrupts Phoebe's Central Perk set
-Ross gets everyone into Bitcoin
-The One Where The Gang Realizes Their Privilege
14. Never again.
*goes to school without headphones once* pic.twitter.com/6IOk71oCCw— Kaiden (@LeftOnDelivered) January 21, 2018
15. And that shit stopped your breathing.
But nobody cared when my generation was choking on cinnamon https://t.co/h0dnh0KMtD— Raina Wansick (@makeitrainuh) January 22, 2018