15 FMLs About Shaving In Honor of No-Shave-November
1. Not shaving for no-shave-November will help you reach breakthroughs in your relationship!
2. Save your balls, don't shave!
3. Stop shaving so that no one accidentally thinks you've got an STD.
Today, I shaved my lady bits for the first time to surprise my husband, whom I haven't seen in months due to deployment. I ended up with razor burn and my dim-witted husband believes I cheated on him and that it's an STD. Nothing will tell him otherwise. FML
4. Try to avoid a written record.
5. Body hair required Mon-Fri.
6. If you don't shave you'll never have to look your partner's pooper in the eye.
Today, my boyfriend was shaving his beard in the bathroom when I left. An hour later, I found him exasperated after having shaved half his body. I had to help him shave every nook and cranny left because he said he was in too deep and couldn't turn back. Yes, his bumhole too. FML
7. Spare yourself the disgrace of granny by just letting it all grow out.
Today, I shaved my pubes while staying at my senile grandma's place. I guess I didn't clean up properly, because she found some hair and insisted someone must have broken in while we were out and used the shower. I had to play along to spare myself embarrassment. FML
8. Though, sometimes shaving might be a good idea...
9. Spoiler alert: it's not.
Today, I went on another date with a guy I've had a crush on for a long time. Afterwards, we went back to my place for the first time and things got heated. While taking my pants off, he recoiled and asked if I thought it was still No Shave November. FML
10. You gotta be more specific.
11. Humblebrag, much?
Today, I shaved my legs. I received endless compliments about how great they looked, and how jealous all the girls were. I'm a guy who shaved them for a themed party, for which I dressed up as a girl. FML