14 FMLs About Goddamn Puddles For National Step In A Puddle And Splash Your Friend Day, Which Is Indeed A Real Thing
1. That's some shiny, black mud.
Today, I was leaving work after a storm. They're building some new offices outside, so I had to walk on an uneven path near the construction zone. I came to a big puddle and tried to jump across to what I thought was a piece of asphalt. It was mud. I slipped and fell backwards into the puddle. FML
2. It's warm. It's almost like a bath.
3. Sacrifices were made.
4. Now'snot the time.
Today, I was taking a shower in a hostel when the girl in the cubicle next to mine decided to blow her nose onto the shower floor. The water from her cubicle was flowing into mine and I ended up standing in a puddle of fresh watery snot. FML
5. It's not called 'National Drive Through A Puddle And Splash A Stranger' Day, excuse you.
Today, I was walking to class. While waiting at the crosswalk, a guy cat-called me from his car. I guess he was pissed that I didn't respond, because he purposely drove through a puddle and completely soaked me and the expensive textbook I was holding. FML
6. Seems he didn't get the memo either.
7. Nice to see you enjoying the weather, my dude.
Today, after heavy rain my street flooded. While in my living room, I looked outside to see that my elderly neighbour was outside splashing in a knee deep puddle. He was butt-naked and wearing a snorkel and flippers. FML
8. Watch out who splash. Some people hold grudges.
9. Ballsy move. But if you were ever gonna go for it, that would be the time.
10. Way to show him how well you're doing.
Today, I went out shopping. When I left the store, I saw my ex, who I'm still crazy about. He helped me carry my bags out to the car. When I leaned in to give him a hug goodbye, he stepped aside, and I fell face-first into a puddle. He walked away laughing. FML
11. A round of applause for the security guy just doing his job.
Today, while playing a gig with my band, I tried pulling the classic "playing the guitar with one foot on the monitor" rock-star pose. However, I misjudged the height of the monitor, didn't notice the puddle of beer in front of it, slipped, and fell off the stage into the security guy. FML
12. If only there were an ounce of common sense in your puny, child-sized brain.
13. When karma intervenes.
Today, it was raining heavily. I saw a large puddle by the edge of the road near with a passing lady. Thinking it would be funny to splash her, I swerved to hit the puddle. The puddle was deeper than I thought. I lost control of the car, spun out, and hit two parked cars. FML
14. How to splash lots of friends, or strangers, at once.
Today, I was out having a beer with a few friends. After getting a pint, I slipped in a puddle of beer, fell on top of a stranger on the sofa, and knocked my beer upside down on my head. Then, completely soaked, I realized I'd also knocked over the table, spilling its content on a poor girl across it. FML