10 FMLs From Throughout History That Prove that FMLs Have Been Occurring Since the Beginning of Time

We all have FML moments, but has yours ever shaped the course of history? Probably not in any meaningful way. These people, however, really screwed the pooch and have gone down in history because of it.

1. Hannibal uses his cane. 

Let’s take it back to 218 BC when Hannibal, famed for his war strategies attempted the daunting task of taking Italy by passing through the Alps with 38,000 men, 8,000 horses...and 37 elephants. The route was treacherous and nothing like it had ever been attempted before. Hannibal would soon learn why. When Hannibal and his troops were passing through a pass, aptly called “Certain Death,” in an attempt to test whether or not it was safe to pass, Hannibal tapped the snow with his cane, triggering an avalanche that killed half of his men, a quarter of his cavalry, and 17 of his elephants.

2. Don't forget to lock the door!

Way back in 1453, The Roman Empire fell after leaving gate ajar in the wall surrounding Constantinople. The Ottoman Turks shouldn’t have been able to take the city, as it was surrounded by highly secure walls, but when one guy didn’t close a gate, the Turks waltzed right in and easily took Constantinople from the Byzantines, who were fewer in number and ` overly reliant on the city’s walls. 

3. But you're on the same side...

In September of 1788, Austria was fight the Turks for control of the Danube River, but when some Austrian night guards mistook a group of their fellow cavalrymen who had set up camp with a group of Gypsies on the other side of the river for the enemy Turks, they started a shooting match with their own men in the Battle of the Karansebes, which killed 10,000 men, rendering the army too weak to fight off the Turks when they actually did show up a couple days later. That’s how the Turks ended up taking over parts of what is now Romania.

4. Ka-boom!

In 1917, a French cargo ship called the Mont Blanc was passing through Halifax on its way to Bordeaux carrying munitions. At the same time, a Norwegian vessel called the Imo was leaving the harbor at an accelerated speed, as it was running late. Eventually the ships found themselves side by side. The captain of the Imo, impatient due to already running late, prematurely turned, crashing into the side of the Mont Blanc, spilling out barrels of Benzol, which was unnoticed until the Imo restarted their engines, sending out a spark that would light the Benzol, causing an explosion equivalent to 2.9 Kilotons of TNT. The explosion killed 2000, injured another 9000, created a tsunami that wiped out a local native population, and could be heard over 100 miles away.

5. "Recalculating route"

We all learned in history class that the assassination of Austrian Archduke Franz Ferdinand sparked World War I, but did you know that he wouldn’t have been killed if his driver hadn’t made a wrong turn? The driver had deflected an assassination attempt earlier in the day by turning off of a route with a planted bomb, but while driving to the hospital to visit the bomb’s victims, the driver accidentally turned onto the same street he has been avoiding earlier, leading the archduke directly into the domain of Ferdinand’s assassin, Gavrilo Princip, who took advantage of the driver’s mistake and shot the duke and his wife.

6. Hit the road, Jack Sparrow.

In 1958, Mao Zedong launched a campaign to rid China of the “Four Pests,” one of which was the sparrow, which Mao thought to be robbing farmers of the fruits of their labor, as they ate many grains. The campaign promoted the killing of sparrows by any means possible. But it wasn’t until 2 years later that officials realized the sparrow were also eating insects, which, sparrowless, had come to ravage their crops, leading to the Great Chinese Famine, killing some 20 million of starvation.

7. Hello, Goodbye

On New Year’s Day 1962, the Beatles auditioned for Decca Records, where they played and recorded 15 songs before record producers decided to turn them down, claiming that “the Beatles had no future in show business.” As we now know, that would be one of the biggest mistakes in music history, for not long after, the Beatles gained popularity in London and eventually the world over. Ya dun goofed, Decca.

8. Draining the tub.

In November 1980, a Texaco Oil Rig was drilling under Louisiana’s Lake Peigneur when the 150-foot-tall rig suddenly plunged all the way through ground, into what would be a sinkhole that swallowed up 65 acres of land. You see, Texaco had been drilling directly above the Diamond Crystal Salt Company’s salt mine, which when pierced filled up, draining Lake Peigneur but miraculously killing no one.

9. Bad move, Wayne.

Ever heard of a guy named Ronald Wayne? Well you would have if he hadn’t given up his 10% share of Apple Inc. Along with Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniac, Wayne helped start the company in an administrative capacity. As his fears that Apple would fail began mounting, he sold off his portion of the company for a measly $800 just two weeks after it’s launch. Little did he know that 10% would be worth $35 billion nowadays!

10. Meters vs. Feet

In 1998, NASA launched the Mars Climate Orbiter, which was meant to study the climate on Mars, but sadly never made it. Why? Well, because of us pesky americans and our imperial system. A miscommunication between the probe’s manufacturer, Lockheed Martin, and NASA led one company to use metric measurements and the other Imperial, ultimately causing the probe to disintegrate in Mars’ atmosphere. What a waste of $300 million, huh?

By Nina / Wednesday 4 October 2017 16:36 / France
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Of course FMLs have been going on forever, Albert Einstein told us that a long time ago, I believe the exact wording was “ There are two things that are infinite and that is the universe and human stupidity and I’m not certain of the former”


Of course FMLs have been going on forever, Albert Einstein told us that a long time ago, I believe the exact wording was “ There are two things that are infinite and that is the universe and human stupidity and I’m not certain of the former”