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10 FMLs About Shitty Santas That Will Give You Real Life Nightmares Before Christmas

By Nina / samedi 23 décembre 2017 10:00
If you want to be dreaming of a white Christmas, don’t read these FMLs because will give you nightmares instead. Here are 10 times people Xmas dreams were shattered by terrible Santas.

1. The stress of the holiday season is really getting to him.

2. A little too much eggnog?

Today, a man wearing a Santa hat stumbled out of a bar, staggered over to my car, and vomited through the open window into my lap. FML

By Anonymous - / Friday 20 December 2013 22:00 / United Kingdom - Romford

3. Production costs are at an all-time high. Santa's getting desperate.

4. We all have a dark side.

Today, while my boyfriend and I were talking with his sister-in-law about a TV show, his 6-year-old nephew walked up just in time to hear how Santa killed the protagonist's parents. I've never seen such a heartbroken face in my life, and now he won't stop asking if Santa kills people. FML

By xmassmasher / Tuesday 2 December 2014 07:52 / United States - Ruston

5. Hard times have fallen on the North Pole.

Today, after telling my young kids all about Santa, his reindeer and his sleigh, we saw him. Smoking a cigarette in the beat-up car next to ours at a red light. FML

By JessThompson / Wednesday 5 December 2012 16:50 / Canada - Hamilton

6. Is that a candy cane in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

7. You will NOT be coming down my chimney tonight.

Today, a man dressed as Santa Claus walked by me, grabbing my butt. He smelled of pipe tobacco and pee. He pulled me close to him and whispered, "I bet you're naughty but you feel so nice." I looked dumbfounded at him as he winked and yelled, "You're on my list." FML

By Anonymous - / Wednesday 15 December 2010 05:09 / United States

 

8. Hey, it could've been alive. Everything in perspective.

Today, I bought a Santa hat. After wearing the hat for a few hours, I noticed a strange lump near the tip of it. I stuck my hand inside to dig out the mysterious object. It was a dead cockroach. FML

By Anonymous / Sunday 30 November 2014 04:44 / United States - Mahwah

9. How could you have expected him to say that?

Today, I thought it would be cute to put on a Santa hat and ask my crush what he wanted for Christmas. He said "A girlfriend." I took off my Santa hat and yelled "Ta-da!" He added, "An ATTRACTIVE girlfriend." FML

By Anonymous - / Saturday 29 November 2014 16:28 / United States - Portland

10. I don't think he's going to like it there.

Today, my mother came over to visit, and my kids started excitedly telling her Christmas is coming soon. She freaked out, saying Christmas is a "Satanic holiday" and telling them that Santa is going to hell along with everyone who celebrates it. My children are now traumatized. FML

By Jane M - / Friday 25 October 2013 23:20 / United States - Lafayette
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