verycleanfloor

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Verycleanfloor's favorite FMLs

By KAAALIS - 16/03/2009 02:20 - United States

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

agreeclassic 738 927

vote type 1 496 027

By lorrilanee - 20/11/2010 06:20 - Australia

Today, I finally made out with my boyfriend. Let's just say his idea of making out is moving his tongue like a lizard. FML

agreeclassic 34 212

vote type 1 5 090

By Anonymous - 13/11/2010 07:14 - United States

Today, I told my parents that I wanted a little brother. My dad apparently thought it would be funny to tell me that my mom just swallowed my little brother. FML

agreeclassic 534

vote type 1 82

Damn, son

By Bob - this FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I received a restraining order from a girl I have never met. FML

agreeclassic 40 764

vote type 1 3 758

By single - 10/11/2010 02:10 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. He got on the bed on all fours and crawled towards me, saying "My precious... my precious" in Gollum's voice. FML

agreeclassic 44 463

vote type 1 7 626