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xxxkdjahkakdkd

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Xxxkdjahkakdkd's favorite FMLs

Oh no, oh God no

By hlev24 - 03/03/2009 16:20 - United States

Today, I was on my way home from a friend's house. I called home ahead of time to let my parents know I was on my way. My dad picked up and in a panting voice said, "Now isn't a good time, drive around the block for 15 minutes." FML

agreeclassic 104 111

vote type 1 6 735

By Anonymous - 13/02/2014 15:47 - United States - Kennett

Today, trying to be a responsible parent, I bought my daughter a pack of condoms in case she ever decided to have sex. She turned them into balloon animals and went back to playing video games. FML

agreeclassic 35 538

vote type 1 53 141

Who goes there?

By scared shitless - this FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - San Francisco

Today, at my job as a night janitor, at which I work alone, I saw an old man enter a bathroom. When I went to investigate, it was completely empty. I'm now scared to work. FML

agreeclassic 60 116

vote type 1 3 936

By OakStake - 08/12/2013 22:07 - United States - New York

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

agreeclassic 60 332

vote type 1 3 427

By Blood on my hands - 07/08/2013 05:40 - United States

Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML

agreeclassic 53 175

vote type 1 25 761