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Lolawesome's favorite FMLs

Traumatized

By Anon - 31/10/2009 11:08 - United Kingdom

Today, I invited my very animal-phobic boyfriend over. I have a dog and a rabbit, who are always well behaved, so I insisted they wouldn't do him any harm. My dog peed all over his shoes and my rabbit furiously humped his leg and wouldn't let go. He's now even more terrified of animals. FML

agreeclassic 32 739

vote type 1 12 214

By Baby eater - 20/05/2014 00:00 - United States - Clarksville

Today, I told my 4-year-old neighbor that I'm pregnant. His response was to attack me with a stick "for swallowing a baby." Three people had to pull him off. FML

agreeclassic 51 531

vote type 1 5 840

By Anonymous - 27/09/2013 20:33 - United States - Spring Branch

Today, I broke up with my abusive girlfriend. She responded by breaking into my place and stabbing my hamster with a fork. FML

agreeclassic 80 038

vote type 1 4 559

By Anonymous - 18/08/2012 04:51 - Australia - Forestville

Today, the whole family came over to celebrate my 18th birthday. My grandfather bought me a giant mathematics book. Apparently, he didn't want my 16 year old sister to be "jealous", so he got her the new iPad. FML

agreeclassic 36 273

vote type 1 2 094

Nasty

By Anonymous - 08/02/2012 17:45

Today, I was attacked by a bird at three in the morning. The bird was being attacked by an owl, and it decided the safest place to land wasn't in a tree, but my face. No one will believe me, despite the 12 stitches across my face. FML

agreeclassic 28 017

vote type 1 2 227