happymembrane

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Happymembrane's favorite FMLs

By EPICfml. - 02/03/2009 19:01 - United States

Today, my dad woke me up at 6 told me to take a shower and drove me to school only to say "just kidding, happy snowday!" FML

agreeclassic 91 640

vote type 1 13 536

By Kimberpoo - 14/03/2013 06:21 - United States - San Diego

Today, I discovered the "may have a laxative effect" warning on my sugar-free jelly beans should actually read "don't fart after consuming". FML

agreeclassic 32 903

vote type 1 5 686

Awkward pause

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Blue Springs

Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML

agreeclassic 48 511

vote type 1 17 925

By phatdaddy62 - 18/02/2013 17:23 - United States

Today, my wife mentioned that she wanted to give me a three-way. I was ecstatic, until she opened her right hand, only to reveal a 3-way lightbulb. FML

agreeclassic 18 819

vote type 1 42 551

phatdaddy62 app_comment_confession_title

phatdaddy62 23

Tuesday 19 February 2013 3:31

Im a criminal defense and divorce lawyer. That prank might not have desirable results!

By klovemachine - 04/02/2013 03:50 - United States

Today, I was washing the dishes at work. I had to pee really bad but first I wanted to finish the dishes. A coworker jumped out from behind the ice machine. I screamed like a girl and pissed my pants. FML

agreeclassic 29 096

vote type 1 5 623

klovemachine app_comment_confession_title

klovemachine 24

Monday 4 February 2013 15:09

Nope. Just me and the coworker.