nemcali

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Nemcali's favorite FMLs

Classic mistake

By Anonymous - 17/07/2021 15:01 - United States - Fargo

Today, I woke up from a dead sleep needing to fart. The second I tried to push it out, I realized it wasn't wasn't fart. FML

agreeclassic 830

vote type 1 489

My ex

By Anonymous - 14/09/2013 20:09 - United States - North Kingstown

Today, my psycho girlfriend tried to blackmail me into giving her money, threatening to show everyone the nude pictures I'd recently sent her. Except the pictures on her phone that she threatened me with weren't even of me. Nice to know I'm also being cheated on. FML

agreeclassic 60 898

vote type 1 5 098

By pleasedtomeetyou - 13/01/2010 16:42 - United Kingdom

Today, I met my boyfriend's notoriously difficult mother. I had been looking forward to meeting her and making a good impression. Unfortunately, I could not greet her as her son's penis was still in my mouth. FML

agreeclassic 33 171

vote type 1 16 395

By nep012 - 27/11/2014 07:12 - United States

Today, I had to end a first date with the words, "You can get out of my car and go upstairs yourself, or I can come around and drag you out, bring you up the stairs, and knock on your door," because he'd gotten completely plastered in a span of about three hours. And yes, I had to drag him. FML

agreeclassic 33 965

vote type 1 3 343

nep012 app_comment_confession_title

nep012 3

Thursday 27 November 2014 21:29

Can't believe I got published on my first submit!!! Made an account just to comment back haha. First of all, wow, thanks for all the support :) and no, there will be no second date! Also yes, I am a girl lol, and dragging him out wasn't really that hard.

Heartless

By Anonymous - 24/08/2020 02:02

Today, I received a positive Covid-19 test. Despite being largely asymptomatic, the company I work for decided that I've behaved with "gross neglect" by coming to work in an attempt to support the company's ambition, and promptly fired me with no benefits. FML

agreeclassic 1 706

vote type 1 1 569