cedar306

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Cedar306's favorite FMLs

By Kyokushin - 03/06/2009 14:15 - United States

Today, I came home from work when I heard people in my apartment. My apartment was supposed to be empty, so I entered ready to fight some thieves. I rushed in and hit the closest person to me before the lights switched on. It was a surprise party. I broke my girlfriend's cheek-bone. FML

agreeclassic 55 970

vote type 1 20 216

By parkoursam - 10/03/2015 16:45 - United States - Chicago

Today, I went to get a physical, forgetting I'd shaved my pubes the day before and still had bad razor burn. My doctor told me I had "dicken pox" and was prescribing me with shaving cream. FML

agreeclassic 30 520

vote type 1 7 247

parkoursam app_comment_confession_title

parkoursam 7

Wednesday 11 March 2015 23:48

Thanks for the advice lol

By nosexforthee - 23/01/2015 19:25 - United States - Katy

Today, during a family game of basketball, my 15 year old son shoved me hard to get the ball. I fell and cut my arm badly on the ground. I yelled at him for being an idiot. He replied "Oh jeez, a bleeding woman being a bitch, what a fucking shocker." My husband doubled over laughing. FML

agreeclassic 43 677

vote type 1 7 999

By danielzcwu - 29/12/2014 19:11 - Taiwan - Taipei

Today, I slept on the plane ride home and had a scary nightmare. I started screaming in my dream, so loud that it shocked the old lady sitting next to me into screaming as well. The whole plane began laughing as we were both screaming. FML

agreeclassic 35 325

vote type 1 4 450

danielzcwu app_comment_confession_title

danielzcwu 10

Tuesday 30 December 2014 7:40

Here's my original post on FB. FML condense make us condense it to 300 words :p aww man.. Just went through one of the most awkward moments of my life. I Just got off the plane from Taipei to hk, during the flight I fell asleep and had a nightmare. I can't remember what it was about. But, I think I was being attacked. So anyway, I started screaming in my dream, unfortunately that translated to screaming in reality as well. It was a loud scream as well cause it was enough to wake me up. The good and also funny thing is it wasn't just me screaming, there was this old lady sitting next to me, who I guess after I was screaming also started screaming.... It was like domino scream! Luckily I still had my eyes closed and realized it was too awkward and embarrassing to explain myself, I could hear people laughing behind me, beside me and in front.. So I just kept my eyes closed. Seriously , one of the most awkward moments I've been in, it took all my will power to continue pretending to sleep and self control not to laugh cause that old aunty screaming after I screamed was Damn funny... I did a muffled giggle when she was saying ... omg this boy scared me to death.. Luckily someone said quite loudly poor kid he must've had a nightmare.. Sigh.... FML

By Anonymous - 13/05/2013 23:51 - United States - Quincy

Today, while doing a fun genetics game in Biology, I found out that I was adopted. Turns out the game wasn't so fun. FML

agreeclassic 60 422

vote type 1 3 481