rossmty

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Rossmty's favorite FMLs

By Nyquilwtf - 23/09/2012 05:03 - United States

Today, I learned that Nyquil has such an amazing effect on me, that it won't even allow me to wake up to go to the bathroom. FML

agreeclassic 24 932

vote type 1 2 530

By fuckshitcockwaffle - 31/05/2013 14:59 - Australia - Bayswater

Today, while feeding my neighbour's cats, I mistakenly switched up their foods. One has medicated food that causes drowsiness. The healthy cat got knocked out like a log. I panicked, laid him out by the bed, and spilled milk around his head to make it look "natural." I think I'm going to hell. FML

agreeclassic 33 525

vote type 1 37 599

Honest mistake

By Luke - 19/03/2013 09:59 - United States - Liverpool

Today, my department found out that we're getting a new supervisor for the third time this month. I joked about how we're like "the foster kid nobody wants." One of my coworkers burst into tears and ran off. I later found out that she had been a foster child and never once had a stable home. FML

agreeclassic 38 533

vote type 1 30 147

By RedWaters - 06/03/2013 20:20 - United States

Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML

agreeclassic 61 552

vote type 1 15 916

By claytwin - 04/03/2013 20:10 - United States

Today, I was walking to my professor's office. I've had an upset stomach all week, and I still felt a little gassy, so I politely decided to pass gass before entering the room. More than just gas came out. FML

agreeclassic 40 648

vote type 1 7 521

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claytwin 14

Monday 4 March 2013 23:17

My first FML to get published and I am not proud of this moment but I did waddle back to my dorm to take a shower, and then I continued on with my life.