jdt12399

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26 years-old
Saturday 23 January 1999
single

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Jdt12399's favorite FMLs

By FML.. - 06/04/2009 19:51 - China

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

agreeclassic 707

vote type 1 492

By NothowIimaginedmyday - 03/10/2015 04:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was shaving his beard in the bathroom when I left. An hour later, I found him exasperated after having shaved half his body. I had to help him shave every nook and cranny left because he said he was in too deep and couldn't turn back. Yes, his bumhole too. FML

agreeclassic 25 993

vote type 1 3 691

By Anonymous - 23/08/2015 17:34

Today, I passed my driver's test. My instructor took the learner signs off his car and let me drive back to my place. I guess he didn't bet on me crashing the car just a few blocks from the test center. FML

agreeclassic 21 462

vote type 1 5 732

By Oopsie - 28/07/2015 17:18 - United States - Saint Albans

Today, a revolving door got the better of me. I made it into the crowded lobby, unlike my skirt. Bad day to wear a thong. FML

agreeclassic 29 477

vote type 1 3 807

By simply_meeeee - 20/07/2015 15:10 - United States - Glen Carbon

Today, after hours of waiting in line, I finally met my favorite band. After posing for a picture, I looked at my phone to find that instead of taking a picture with me and the band, my friend took selfies. FML

agreeclassic 33 782

vote type 1 2 987

simply_meeeee app_comment_confession_title

simply_meeeee 26

Tuesday 21 July 2015 2:06

I'm surprised mine got published! And yeah, I was furious with her. Consider her unfriended!