timesnipe

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San diego, America
29 years-old
Sunday 30 June 1996
single

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I like batman

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Timesnipe's favorite FMLs

By Foxy - 05/02/2009 14:06 - United States

Today, I had just gotten over the flu and thought I was better. So me and my boyfriend decided to have sex. As I was about to orgasm, I puked all over his face. He was so disgusted that he ended up throwing up on me as well. FML

agreeclassic 70 367

vote type 1 26 889

By Anonymous - 25/03/2012 12:09 - Australia - Croydon

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

agreeclassic 47 896

vote type 1 15 226

So… good news, or…?

By daddy-o - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML

agreeclassic 35 098

vote type 1 21 194

By Anonymous - 14/03/2012 07:33 - United States

Today, I got pulled over for drunk driving. This is the second time its happened. I was completely sober both times. FML

agreeclassic 26 442

vote type 1 16 533

By anonymous - 14/03/2012 05:18 - Canada

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my fiancé, when he jumped up and viciously sat on my face. I then heard, smelled, and tasted the most violent, horrific fart known to man. I still can't get the taste out of my mouth, and he can't stop laughing. I'm getting married to this guy. FML

agreeclassic 31 077

vote type 1 14 194