smoothies14

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31 years-old
Sunday 14 August 1994
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Smoothies14's favorite FMLs

By maxthndr - 10/02/2009 05:36 - United States

Today, my boss fired me via text message. I don't have a text messaging plan. I paid $0.25 to get fired. FML

agreeclassic 428

vote type 1 36

By :| - 26/09/2015 04:10 - New Zealand - Nelson

Today, my 6-year-old daughter touched a tray I'd just pulled out of the oven. I quickly swatted her hand away, but then noticed she wasn't hurt or burned at all. I then gingerly touched the tray and got scalded. My daughter giggled maniacally as I screamed. To be honest, I'm now terrified of her. FML

agreeclassic 29 743

vote type 1 4 280

Who are you?

By LCDRBrownHercules - 22/09/2015 01:44 - United States - Lake Elsinore

Today, my 5-year-old daughter sobbed inconsolably on my return home from a several-month long deployment to the Middle East. I was touched by her reaction until she blurted out that she wasn't crying because she missed me, but because my shaved head looked scary ugly. FML

agreeclassic 25 984

vote type 1 2 020

Classic

By auraya1985 - 12/09/2015 21:34 - United Kingdom

Today, I got called into the school by my daughter's teacher. Apparently my daughter informed her class that over the weekend she spent her time with her daddy watching porn stars while her mummy was at work. It took a long time to convince her they were actually watching a TV show called "Pawn Stars". FML

agreeclassic 28 373

vote type 1 1 900

By smoothies14 - 12/09/2015 01:15 - United States - Weatherford

Today, I had a nightmare and woke up terrified, scaring my roommate. What was the dream? That I'd had a panic attack because my box of Honey Nut Cheerios was torn and the bag inside was improperly folded. FML

agreeclassic 22 107

vote type 1 4 376

smoothies14 app_comment_confession_title

smoothies14 32

Sunday 13 September 2015 6:46

The sad part was there wasn't even a box of cheerios in the room at the time (even though there usually is). I had to go to my food spot and double check anyway so I could sleep.