LordLlampaca

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25 years-old
Sunday 29 October 2000
single

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Lordllampaca's favorite FMLs

By Anonymous - 01/06/2017 20:00

Today, one of my best friends accused me of stealing her friend. I wasn't aware that we hadn't managed to graduate from nursery school despite nearing our thirties. I was also unaware that friendships could be owned/stolen/etc. FML

agreeclassic 3 735

vote type 1 383

By BatWife - 29/03/2017 19:00 - United States - New London

Today, my husband cleaned out our fireplace and found a very dead, mummified bat. After chasing me around the house with it, he set it atop the mantle. He refuses to get rid of it, and calls it "Henry". FML

agreeclassic 4 920

vote type 1 625

Free Playboy for the guy that can't even use it. Oh, cruel fate.

By Anonymous - 09/03/2017 02:00

Today, I received a Playboy magazine that I never ordered, and now my husband won't stop laughing at me or calling me a closet heterosexual. FML

agreeclassic 5 359

vote type 1 749

Hear this?

By soundslikeadumbcommentersituation - 11/07/2014 20:34 - Canada - Brampton

Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML

agreeclassic 45 873

vote type 1 6 944

By Anonymous - 14/04/2014 03:17 - United States

Today, I was talking dirty with my husband over the phone while he was out of town. I started to verbally act out his fantasy and got quite into it. I was returned with silence. Embarrassed, I tried to hang up. Turns out the call had already been dropped, five minutes prior. FML

agreeclassic 49 008

vote type 1 7 882