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Avagirl's favorite FMLs

By pchemist - 22/02/2009 00:13 - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He said I was way too good at sex so I must have lied about not having much experience, and he "wouldn't be with someone who is hiding something." WTF? FML

agreeclassic 89 523

vote type 1 7 001

Strong bonds

By Anonymous - 02/05/2009 08:12 - United States

Today, my 6 year-old daughter asked, "What would happen to me if you and daddy died?" I told her that she'd probably live with her Uncle Ant and Aunt Ilene. She looked at me and said, "You guys can die. I won't cry. I get everything I want over there." FML

agreeclassic 102 498

vote type 1 10 027

By sweet - 26/03/2009 18:08 - United States

Today, I was taking the metro into DC for my internship. Two guys came in and started talking to each other in Arabic. One boy turned to the other said "Do you think shes cute?" The other responded "Her face is hideous but she has nice tits." I am fluent in Arabic. They were looking at me. FML

agreeclassic 91 378

vote type 1 5 442

By Tourist - 26/03/2009 07:19 - United States

Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to help, I slowly say, "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says, "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML

agreeclassic 206

vote type 1 1 164

By Mason_Jayson - 22/03/2009 19:45 - United States

Today, I was at a sandwich shop and couldn't help but secretly remove a loose hair from a girl standing in front of me. I yanked it and she instantly began screaming and crying. It was in fact a very long mole hair. The thing started bleeding like a gunshot wound. My apologies went unnoticed. FML

agreeclassic 45 869

vote type 1 168 681

Mason_Jayson app_comment_confession_title

Mason_Jayson 0

Monday 23 March 2009 18:37

This is my FML. In my UNDESERVED defense...I do have a little OCD, I work in healthcare and automatically want to help when I see something like that, and there may have been a few beers involved. I'm not a pervert and have never done anything like that before (and you had better believe since). And for those who are curious: the mole was on her shoulder and the hair I touched was down by her shoulderbladeish area. This sucker was LONG.