theOneness

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Theoneness's favorite FMLs

By Achoo - 03/02/2019 11:00 - Australia - Beckenham

Today I sat down with my morning coffee and sneezed, it's my heavy period day so I've ruined my undies and new pj pants, stained a chair traumatized my children from the blood and burnt myself from the spilt coffee. FML

agreeclassic 2 913

vote type 1 260

By cls_x - 24/02/2013 07:53 - United States - Riverview

Today, I was holding the door open for a friend. She told me to wait a second because she had to finish a text. Nearly a minute passed before I asked why she wouldn't come inside to finish typing. We were at a Chinese restaurant. She thought the "No MSG" sign meant you couldn't text inside. FML

agreeclassic 37 451

vote type 1 4 033

By ItGirl - 09/11/2014 02:36 - Sweden - Eskilstuna

Today, my dad got so drunk that he forgot my name. He started calling me "It". FML

agreeclassic 39 540

vote type 1 3 370

By okaythen - 04/10/2013 09:37 - Egypt - Cairo

Today, a cute guy ditched his date and walked up to me, calling me beautiful. Not knowing how to reply, I just blushed. His date got angry and left. "Sorry. I take that back," he then said. "I was just trying to get rid of her. Thanks anyway." FML

agreeclassic 55 305

vote type 1 3 717

By Whoops - 02/11/2018 14:00

Today, my mom decided she wants to try a new family bonding experiment: Being naked around the house for an entire week. She wants us all to eat dinner, watch tv, etc. completely naked. She says she will ground me and my siblings if we don't try it. FML

agreeclassic 5 264

vote type 1 274