JesusYacob

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Somewhere over the rainbow, with glitter.
34 years-old
Thursday 02 May 1991
couple

A propos de Jesusyacob

The names Taylor. Not Jesus, nor Yacob. A Day to Remember

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Jesusyacob's favorite FMLs

By bucollegegirl - 08/10/2012 14:07 - United States

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he said that I should go to the bathroom so we don't end up pregnant. When I asked why, he said that I need to "pee out the semen." I explained to him 5 times that I don't pee out of my vagina. He still doesn't get it. FML

agreeclassic 41 811

vote type 1 6 579

Thanks, I guess?

By hungry? - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Talbott

Today, some friends told me that my natural body odor smells like cooked beef and roasted onions. I'm disgustingly delicious. FML

agreeclassic 23 146

vote type 1 4 583

By poked - 06/03/2011 00:24 - United States

Today, my father who left my family over 10 years ago and never contacted us or paid child support, poked me on Facebook. FML

agreeclassic 63 920

vote type 1 4 147

By sickkid - 23/11/2009 18:05 - United States

Today, I found out that my dad hides his Viagra from my mom by keeping it in an Aspirin container. Now I have a terrible headache and a boner. FML

agreeclassic 571

vote type 1 69

By RosaP - 28/02/2009 06:40 - Canada

Today, I slept over at a friend's house. We decided to dress up as ninjas and play a trick on her younger brothers, sleeping in the basement. While sneaking down the stairs, in the dark, her mother came home. Thinking I was a robber, she beat me with a lamp. FML

agreeclassic 24 337

vote type 1 42 387