KhaoticKreature666

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Lewiston, Maine, United States
31 years-old
Saturday 01 January 1994
single

A propos de Khaotickreature666

Laughter is the key to survival

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Khaotickreature666's favorite FMLs

Sweet talker

By Anonymous - 27/12/2013 22:39 - United Kingdom

Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML

agreeclassic 56 113

vote type 1 7 275

By Achoo - 03/02/2019 11:00 - Australia - Beckenham

Today I sat down with my morning coffee and sneezed, it's my heavy period day so I've ruined my undies and new pj pants, stained a chair traumatized my children from the blood and burnt myself from the spilt coffee. FML

agreeclassic 2 913

vote type 1 260

By heartattack - 03/02/2019 16:00

Today, after I moved into my new 1930's house, my elderly rescue dog raised her hackles and stared at the wall behind my bed for two full minutes. I thought she might have recognized something from her old job. She's a retired cadaver dog. I guess I'm never sleeping, again. FML

agreeclassic 2 611

vote type 1 312

By the_pheasant66 - 26/06/2010 10:31 - Ireland

Today, I got my eyebrow pierced. When I got home to show my family, my little sister said, "That's so fake!" and tore it off my face. FML

agreeclassic 60 142

vote type 1 11 025

How dare you

By pissed off - 01/07/2012 01:00

Today, my husband staggered home after a night of drinking. He was too intoxicated to find the toilet so he started to pee in the cat's litter box. Apparently, he was invading her territory and she attacked him. His scream as she bit and scratched him must have woken the whole world. FML

agreeclassic 23 519

vote type 1 2 635