Pedro1237

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Pedro1237's favorite FMLs

By Anonymous - 10/09/2011 05:05 - United States

Today, I pretended to drunk text some friends. When in all reality I was sitting home all alone. I don't know what's worse: that I pretended that I was social and drunk, or that the friend I said I was with was actually with them. FML

agreeclassic 11 146

vote type 1 52 453

By omfgnooo - 09/09/2011 23:22 - United States

Today, I was masturbating while chewing gum. Halfway into the session, the gum flew down my throat, causing me to violently choke. My mom had to rush in and help me while I still had my pants around my ankles. FML

agreeclassic 17 869

vote type 1 54 921

By Stuck - 08/09/2011 10:00 - United States

Today, I heard on a TV show that it's possible to fit a standard light-bulb in your mouth, but it can't be removed afterwards. I just had to try this out. And then visit the local hospital to get it removed. FML

agreeclassic 9 340

vote type 1 67 848

By StupidApple - 25/05/2011 00:02

Today, I found out that whenever I send my son to his room, he goes on his iPod and buys the most expensive apps he can find. So far I've been charged $600. FML

agreeclassic 24 873

vote type 1 53 277

Love language

By gummy bear - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, trying to be an old-school romantic, I asked my girlfriend, "Where art thou, my love?" via SMS. She replied, "Toilet." FML

agreeclassic 17 662

vote type 1 31 267