elevoloxx

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Beaver Dam, United States
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Elevoloxx's favorite FMLs

Just a term of endearment

By Joe - 25/02/2009 19:05 - United States

Today, I had the cops called on me because I accidentally texted, "I'm going to kill you and use your head as a hood ornament" to my ex-fiancé, instead of my best friend. I only texted that because he got a better grade on an exam than me. Now I have a court date. FML

agreeclassic 32 025

vote type 1 45 746

By Anonymous - 08/08/2012 05:59 - United States

Today, I was driving down a dark country road with the windows down. Suddenly, a giant barn owl flew through my side-window and smacked into my head, causing me to drive into a ditch. FML

agreeclassic 30 216

vote type 1 2 850

Dick move

By facepalm - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had to ask my boyfriend to stop measuring his penis during our conversation. FML

agreeclassic 31 832

vote type 1 4 545

Small mistake

By lorahayes - 05/01/2012 18:39 - United Kingdom

Today, I was on the train listening to my iPod on shuffle. The "Oompa Loompa" song came on, and slightly amused, I started humming it. It wasn't until I noticed that the man next to me was a midget that I understood the horrified looks I was getting. FML

agreeclassic 38 951

vote type 1 10 307

By furryballoon - 22/11/2011 04:46 - United States

Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML

agreeclassic 40 616

vote type 1 6 888