mattster77

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Mattster77's favorite FMLs

By jobless - 20/01/2009 16:52 - France

Today, I've been dating a girl for a year and she's only touched my penis twice. Once by accident. FML

agreeclassic 29 072

vote type 1 12 994

By MIND BLOWING - 20/10/2012 13:57 - Canada - Toronto

Today, after waking up from a drunken night, I realized the burning sensation I had from the lube during sex was because I used hand sanitizer. FML

agreeclassic 13 259

vote type 1 39 805

Balls!

By BigmouthStrikesAgain - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, after a tennis lesson, the coach was picking up the stray tennis balls around the court. Trying to be helpful, I asked him, "Do you want me to grab your ball bag?" His eyeballs almost burst out of their sockets. FML

agreeclassic 32 449

vote type 1 8 447

By mavstrr1764847 - 27/06/2011 18:38 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of five years proposed to me in front of my entire family. He later confessed that it was part of a dare with his friends because, "There was no way you'd say yes." Guess who has to explain this to all my relatives? FML

agreeclassic 45 418

vote type 1 3 732

Not a Bio major

By Anonymous - 27/06/2011 13:55 - United States

Today, my boyfriend said that to be extra careful he's been taking my birth control pills too. FML

agreeclassic 67 155

vote type 1 8 145