leighxleigh

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Leighxleigh's favorite FMLs

Happy to see me

By brighteyes - 31/01/2009 17:01 - United States

Today, I tried to befriend the lonely boy who sits at the end of my table at lunch. He always sleeps or does homework during lunch. I walked over to him, tripped, and spilled my open bottle of water on his jeans. I apologized profusely and wiped off his pants with napkins. He got hard. FML

agreeclassic 36 032

vote type 1 11 942

By Anonymous - 26/02/2011 20:19 - United States

Today, I found out why my cell phone has been going missing every night for the last few months. My sister has been "borrowing" it so she can hold it against her crotch and repeatedly push the vibrate button. FML

agreeclassic 59 532

vote type 1 5 182

Tasty

By Emily Salt - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, whilst nibbling on my husband's ear, I swallowed a lump of his earwax. FML

agreeclassic 44 026

vote type 1 25 675

By mom21 - 08/02/2011 17:46 - United States

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s teacher asking me to come pick her up. My daughter wouldn’t tell her what was wrong. I left an important work meeting. When I got there she stated her boyfriend broke up with her and she couldn't emotionally make it through the rest of the day. She's 5. FML

agreeclassic 59 501

vote type 1 7 988

mom21_fml app_comment_confession_title

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Wednesday 9 February 2011 1:17

WOW. First off, the only reason I posted this was because I called my husband to tell him about this and he thought itd be funny to post this on here. Now I wish I hadn't. Most of you people are more dramatic than my daughter. I made an account to defend my child. She's five. She was just being silly...

By me - 13/01/2011 20:48 - United States

Today, my daughter was expelled from her school for beating another kindergartener with a Dr. Seuss book. FML

agreeclassic 39 223

vote type 1 7 782