jems_

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27 years-old
Thursday 01 January 1998
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Jems_'s favorite FMLs

By offbeans - 17/02/2009 02:29 - United States

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

agreeclassic 267 596

vote type 1 90 937

Suave

By ooblie - 08/12/2010 08:22 - United States

Today, after receiving a lovely massage from my boyfriend, I was lying topless in bed beside him. Just as I was thinking this would be the perfect opportunity for some intimacy, he looks at me and says, "My mom is SO awesome." FML

agreeclassic 36 025

vote type 1 4 023

By Ed - 05/12/2010 13:53 - United States

Today, I came home from work to find my five year old daughter drawing unicorns on the wall. The same wall that I had to repaint last week because it had puppies on it. FML

agreeclassic 29 673

vote type 1 11 087

Bad influence

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Singapore

Today, my son told his teacher that she "has a nice rack." He's four. FML

agreeclassic 33 431

vote type 1 12 015

By Laura - 30/11/2010 03:03

Today, I caught my daughter attempting to stick pencils up our cat's butt. FML

agreeclassic 44 092

vote type 1 5 400