mellybear131

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Mellybear131's favorite FMLs

By kaitlynn - 01/02/2010 20:56 - France

Today, at four in the morning, I was asleep with my boyfriend beside me. I started yelling at him in my sleep and broke up with him. When I woke up, he was gone. FML

agreeclassic 40 896

vote type 1 10 270

Worried dad

By Anonymous - 01/08/2012 04:17 - Canada

Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML

agreeclassic 64 398

vote type 1 12 248

By Anonymous - 16/06/2012 19:03 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, my sister asked me if I was going to be getting married "for real" this time, because she didn't want to waste her money like she did on my previous engagement. The reason that one didn't work out in the first place is because she slept with my fiancé. FML

agreeclassic 51 474

vote type 1 2 554

You have been warned

By PUA - 15/03/2012 01:06 - United States

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her huge, ex-Marine father took me out back, saying he wanted to show me something. That something was a machete. He savagely buried it in a tree stump and said, "Son, if you break my daughter's heart, that'll be your dick." FML

agreeclassic 39 376

vote type 1 6 610

So… good news, or…?

By daddy-o - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML

agreeclassic 35 098

vote type 1 21 194