breeeex5

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Breeeex5's favorite FMLs

The bitch is back

By thatsucks - 28/02/2009 11:10 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later, I got a text saying, "I just dropped the bitch off, I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I later asked him about it. He said, "Megan, I have no idea what you're talking about." My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

agreeclassic 1 291 209

vote type 1 143 525

By ohsnap - 22/01/2011 21:24 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was going down on me, when I heard my dog start growling. He must have thought my girlfriend was hurting me, because out of nowhere and before I could do anything, he attacked her. FML

agreeclassic 35 862

vote type 1 5 755

By mortified - 22/01/2011 16:04 - United Kingdom

Today, my dentist pulled a pubic hair out of my braces. FML

agreeclassic 20 490

vote type 1 55 404

Wanking yourself to death

By SkinsCastSelection - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I had an asthma attack because I was masturbating too vigorously. FML

agreeclassic 20 312

vote type 1 47 647

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 09:53 - France

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

agreeclassic 46 328

vote type 1 29 275