ashleyelli123

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Ashleyelli123's favorite FMLs

By RC3Welly - 09/03/2012 22:58 - United States

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

agreeclassic 800

vote type 1 1 943

By yeah - 27/08/2010 23:16 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend and I were role playing when her mum walked past the slightly open door, saw me, and chased me out of the house for stealing her baby's innocence. I was only wearing a red speedo. FML

agreeclassic 14 794

vote type 1 38 990

The language of love

By TextsAlot - this FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, my husband has been out of town for a week. The only text I've got from him was, "I didn't take a poop today." FML

agreeclassic 33 550

vote type 1 3 989

By chewybarseventy - 24/08/2010 06:17 - United States

Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML

agreeclassic 34 529

vote type 1 11 083

By qtpieo1 - 13/08/2010 16:14 - United States

Today, I was at the pool with two boys I babysit. The eldest wouldn't get out of the pool so I pretended to call his dad. He then ran out of the pool, pushed me down, grabbed my phone, chucked it into the pool and then ran back into the pool. FML

agreeclassic 41 527

vote type 1 9 741