The Top

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Callous

By kysier - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Campbellsville

Today, I was turned down from the dream job that I was promised two years ago, once my chemo and radiation therapy was finished. His excuse? He never actually expected me to survive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 934

You deserved it 2 477

I just work here

By fishingforubies2 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Aruba - Oranjestad

Today, it was my first day working at a library. I expected it to be fun and peaceful, not to end up having to call the cops on a guy who started jerking off into a book. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 274

You deserved it 1 878

Moron

By hendrixisgod86 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Crestview

Today, some genius shot through a red light, hitting my car and nearly killing me. When I went to ask if he was okay, the first words out of his mouth were, "I hope you have insurance". FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 520

You deserved it 2 182

Precision strike

By argfarblewarblearble - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I was laying on the couch, listening to music. I guess my brother noticed that I was yawning a lot, because when I opened my mouth and yawned again, he dropped one of his rancid toenail clippings into my mouth, then broke into hysterical laughter at my freaking out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 264

You deserved it 2 407

Magical mystery tour

By FranticFarAwayDaughter - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, my mother was transferred from the hospital to a long-term care facility. Nobody I talk to at the hospital knows what facility they sent her to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 145

You deserved it 270

Harsh but fair

By darkangel7410 - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Lafayette

Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After looking into it, one of the 1-star ratings claimed "mechanical problems". The description of the reason, "He drives a Ford." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 764

You deserved it 2 639

Intervention

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - New Zealand - Christchurch

Today, my mom and I staged an intervention for my alcoholic dad. Within minutes he'd turned everything around on us, claiming we're in no position to judge him for drinking since we use "too much water" when we shower. Apparently that's on the same level as being an abusive alcoholic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 140

You deserved it 866

Mr Heckles

By soon to have a fist shaped hole in my ass - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Canada - Cornwall

Today, my neighbors in the apartment above me yet again had a loud fight, well past midnight while I was trying to sleep. I stood on my bed and pounded on the ceiling to shut them up. And now I'll have to explain the two fist-shaped holes in the ceiling to my landlord. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 248

You deserved it 8 861

Whut?

By what did you say? - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Today, I went for a job interview. The woman interviewing me had such a thick accent that I had to keep asking her to repeat herself. She got so frustrated that she ended the interview super early. I don't think I got the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 948

You deserved it 1 282

Shotgun wedding

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Grand Rapids

Today, my father shot my fiancé. He's fine, but the wedding is off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 110

You deserved it 4 758

How dare you?

By Paramedic - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I was the paramedic at the scene of a car accident. One lady was hurt, and we had trouble getting any information from her as she was sobbing. I radioed in the details and said "...a lady in her mid 30's, ETA 10 minutes." She stopped crying, slapped me, and said, "I'm 28." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 560

You deserved it 4 508

Petty thief

By Already Broke Asf - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Rock Hill

Today, my 19-year-old brother broke into my dorm and robbed me. When I tried to file a report, my brother went to my parents and told them that he took it because I owed him money on a bet. Guess who lost $92.50. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 351

You deserved it 2 413

Genius

By wow. - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Chicago

Today, I let my sister use my phone to play music in the shower, expecting her to use the speakers I have. She used a ziplock bag with a hole in it to connect her headphones. Now I have a waterlogged phone and my sister still doesn't understand why it didn't work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 986

You deserved it 8 267

I'll give you 30 quid for one clarky cat

By allykat - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Canada - Brampton

Today, I bought my cat a fun toy at the one of a kind craft show. It has catnip in it, which he loves. He flipped out, so I took it away. He won't stop trying to break into the cupboard I put it in. My cat has a drug problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 524

You deserved it 5 877

What's my rating?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went online to check my credit report. My credit report says that I'm deceased, and have no rating. I'm at least 90% sure that this is not true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 962

You deserved it 2 618

My little boy

By stubble - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I had to meet my mother. Being a college student, I decided I was too lazy to shave this morning. She noticed the stubble on my face, and started crying because I'm growing up. I'm 23 years-old. My dad yelled at me for making my mom cry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 310

You deserved it 3 553

FIRE!

By chinesef000d - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was sleeping in my apartment when I woke up to the smell of smoke. Alarmed, I ran out to the kitchen to find my roommates trying to put out a fire on the stove. As soon as they saw me, they ran for it, informing me that it was my problem now. They used my good frying pan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 354

You deserved it 3 248

Innocence

By Hahapasdroleleptit - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I was sitting on the bus following a harrowing breakup. A boy of no more than 6 looked at me full of compassion and said, "Are you crying because you're ugly?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 409

You deserved it 6 012

What's my age again?

By bullseyed - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I planned to drop a water balloon on my visiting prankster brother from my new apartment's balcony. As he crossed the street, I launched the balloon, and sent it right behind him. It hit an eight year-old on a scooter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 654

You deserved it 36 810

Some things never change…

By simon - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I moved into university residence, looking forward to finally being able to come out of the closet. I started chatting with the hot guy moving in next door to me. He said I was cool, and he was glad because he was afraid he'd be living next to a gay guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 261

You deserved it 11 217

Rough

By vela9002 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, on my flight to Vegas, I was wishing that a really cute guy would come sit in the seat next to mine. A few minutes later, a really cute guy sat in the seat next to me, and even started to talk to me. When I said, "I like rugged men," he said, "Oh yeah, me too, I really like buff guys." FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 980

You deserved it 13 887

Howdy!

By welcome to the neighborhood - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Silver Spring

Today, I met my new neighbors. The first thing they did was build a fence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 875

You deserved it 1 935

Vicious bastards

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2020 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Runcorn

Today, I decided to go for a jog to try and get fit. I definitely got my exercise in, because I was mercilessly chased by a goose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 203

You deserved it 251

Oh no…

By Lentil - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I went over to my neighbours' to politely complain about their dog, who had been barking non-stop for hours. This issue has been going on for months, and I finally decided today, of all days, was the day to resolve it. When I got there, they'd just got home from giving birth at the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 636

You deserved it 4 039

Move!

By CrimsonAmaryllis - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, after two and a half hours of travel, it was finally my stop on the train. I politely waited for a group of women to get off first. They took so long to move that the train doors closed. I shouted at one through the door to call the conductor. She watched and smiled as the train departed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 871

You deserved it 4 238

Seniors!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, in the senior class I teach, I asked my students who had traveled outside of the country, excluding Canada and Mexico. One student raised his hand and proudly stated, "Arizona". He wants to be a doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 356

You deserved it 3 476

You never know

By lolwut - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Albany

Today, I saw my teacher using her phone in the middle of class, so to joke around with her, seeing as we're on pretty good terms, I said: "Using your phone in class? For shame." She looks me in the eyes and says, "Would it be OK if I told you I'm arranging my father's funeral?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 974

You deserved it 18 729

Hood life

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my car wouldn't start because of the cold weather. Since I was at a friend's house, I asked him to jump-start it. After taking about ten minutes to start his vehicle and park it by mine, we found that both of our car hoods were frozen shut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 014

You deserved it 3 916

Absolute beginner

By scardeycat13 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went snowboarding for the first time. I was so scared that I passed out. I was only on the kiddie hill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 496

You deserved it 10 916

Get it on

By 0867142 - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I found out that I spent a year helping my dad get back into shape, not for his own good health which was what I thought, but so that he could cheat on my mom with five other women. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 435

You deserved it 2 466

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, whilst my parents and I were out, my older brother thought it would be funny to play porn on my computer. At full volume. With my window wide open. Now my next-door neighbors tell their kids I'm a spawn of Satan, and the weird guy from across the street winks at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 170

You deserved it 7 436

Today, at 30 years-old, I can finally move out. I could have chosen an apartment close to work, but instead I decided to stay close to where my mother lives. Since I told her, she's been complaining that I'm selfish and I'm creating a lot of problems for her by moving so far away. I'll be living half a block from her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 916

You deserved it 319

Today, I was comforting my friend who has a toxic relationship with her Mom. She said, "If I'm such a failure, they always make it known that I can't live up to their expectations." It caught me a bit off guard when she said, "I wish she would just leave me alone and leave my life just like your mom did." FML

I agree, your life sucks 389

You deserved it 84

Today, I was choking on an apple and asked my sister to get me some water. She got some. Then drank it herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 762

You deserved it 238

Today, my coworkers surprised me with a bunch of gift cards to Panera, Chick-fil-A, Chipotle, and other nearby fast food places, as well as an "Easy Work Lunches" cookbook. When I reacted with shock, they said, "We're all so sick of you eating cans of sardines in the break room everyday. Please eat anything else." FML

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 766

Today, my family and I went to the movie theater. There weren't enough free seats near the front, so I sat a few rows back with my grandpa. He kept throwing our snacks at my parents' heads all through the movie. He claimed he'd been asleep the whole time, and I'm now grounded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 944

You deserved it 2 374