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Gaming the system

By Anonymous - 13/06/2025 00:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today, I can admit I was wrong for cheating but my psycho ass ex took her revenge too damn far. Instead of cheating back or going wild with her girlfriends or breaking up with me, she called the authorities on my parents and had them deported. FML

I agree, your life sucks 643

You deserved it 440

Adding insult to insult

By Ugh - 25/06/2025 20:00 - Netherlands

Today, a month after our breakup, my ex sent me a glorious butt pic. This was followed up with, "Wrong person, please delete that." I asked her for two years to send me sexy pictures, and she always refused, saying it was "too slutty" for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 389

You deserved it 113

Modern romance

By Herbie03 - 15/07/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, my partner caught me cheating... on ChatGPT. I was secretly using AI to write my love poems. She said that she knew it, because she could “feel the difference in emotional tone.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 73

You deserved it 617

Maddening

By ballnchain - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my insanely jealous wife flipped out and made me promise never to hug any of my female friends or go to lunch with them, ever. It's "cheating." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 934

You deserved it 20 121

Overwhelmed

By Anonymous - 23/08/2025 20:00 - Australia

Today, and ever since I got pregnant, I hate how my husband smells. I hate his perfume, his toothpaste, his body odor, everything. When I tell him, he feels offended. I just want a hygienic man to be a little less hygienic, is that too much to ask? FML

I agree, your life sucks 160

You deserved it 492

Date night to remember

By Anonymous - 26/08/2025 17:00 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, I'd planned a low key date night with my partner for tonight. I told them about it last night. When they got home, they asked why I was dressed up. When I mentioned the date night, they just shrugged and said "Oh, OK" then made a joke about my lipstick. They didn’t change out of their grubby clothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 365

You deserved it 164

Classico

By Anonymous - 28/08/2025 20:00 - France - Nogent-sur-Marne

Today, it's been 3 years since my wife told me we should take a break from sex. We haven't touched each other since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 415

You deserved it 132

Siren alert

By Anonymous - 20/09/2025 20:00

Today, after weeks of everyone at work avoiding me, I finally asked my coworker what was up. She informed me, “You’re 350lbs and try to dress like an office siren, it’s pathetic to look at.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 165

You deserved it 479

Booze is bad

By Eight months on the lease left - 24/11/2025 12:00

Today, I caught my boyfriend drunkenly pissing out the window. Apparently, I should be happy he pissed out the window instead of just wetting the bed. When I suggested he drink less, he got furious and yelled that I might be a lesbian, since I apparently want him to be a "pansy girly bitch boy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 85

Busted

By Sometimes you gotta get tough - 02/01/2025 13:00 - United States

Today, after the seventh morning in a row where my son threw a fit because he wanted to wear summer clothes, I put him in shorts and a tank top and put him outside. He got the message and changed into long sleeves and pants. Ten minutes later, cops pull up. My nosy neighbor called CPS. FML

I agree, your life sucks 624

You deserved it 115

Indifference

By sad - 13/01/2025 05:00 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I got a new haircut and style. Feeling pretty. My husband got home and is not even a little interested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 369

You deserved it 169

Needy smol bean baby

By He's special - 29/01/2025 08:00 - United States

Today, my cat keeps walking into my room and screaming at me to pay attention to him. When I try to do so, he moves away. Then he yells at me from a distance. I don't wanna play this game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 317

You deserved it 186

What's going on?

By Anonymous - 31/01/2025 09:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I wanted to surprise my girlfriend by cleaning the entire house while she was at work. I even lit incense to make it extra special. When she came home, she walked in, sniffed, and immediately accused me of "cheating or something" because "only guilt makes you clean this much." She also blamed me for adding more dust by burning incense. FML

I agree, your life sucks 596

You deserved it 96

Zoning out

By Anonymous - 11/02/2025 00:00 - Slovenia - Ljubljana

Today, I went to get gas for my car. While waiting in line at the cash register, I was next person, and I noticed the cashier had her name tag on her boob. I like to know other people’s names, and the name tag said Irene. The cashier saw me looking at her breast so now I'm not sure if she thinks I’m a pervert or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 306

You deserved it 201

Boxed in

By Anonymous - 26/02/2025 17:00 - United States

Today, at sparring, I got paired up with a girl, who said, "Don't go easy on me because I'm a girl!" Thirty seconds into the match, she was on the floor whimpering and crying. Now everyone is whispering and glaring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 455

You deserved it 145

Rough deal

By Anonymous - 15/04/2025 13:00 - United States

Today, I constantly hear single moms being bashed trashed and judged no matter their situation. I just got dumped again for being one. No one seems to know or care that I’m a single mom, because my daughter’s conception wasn’t what you’d call consensual. FML

I agree, your life sucks 472

You deserved it 96

Living alone, but not really

By Anonymous - 20/04/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I finally have my own space and was hopeful that I would get to improve myself in different ways, personally… except that the thin walls contradicts my personal goal during this moment of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 288

You deserved it 142

Kinda mid

By Anonymous - 07/06/2025 18:00 - Canada - Surrey

Today, I don't know, I guess I'm just tired. Like everything I have done has been for nothing. Yet I can't seem to quit, it's like this is what I was meant for, to just suffer, I had absolutely nothing to do on a Thursday, All I do is go to the gym and come home, and just watch the paint dry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 265

You deserved it 257

The happy couple

By Sexless - 18/06/2025 13:00 - United States

Today, on our honeymoon, my wife still won't have sex with me. When I brought it up, she started crying and said she's still "not ready" for sex. We're both in our late twenties. When the fuck will she be ready? FML

I agree, your life sucks 426

You deserved it 211

Kids these days…

By Anonymous - 24/06/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I learned my mom doesn’t have many pictures from my childhood, but she does have a cabinet of police reports, hospital records, letters from teachers and neighbours, letters of lifetime bans from places, bills for damages, court records, and all from before I was 10. Man, I was a bad kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 149

You deserved it 549

Heart to heart

By Anonymous - 11/07/2025 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my sister answered texts from my girlfriend as though she was me. My girlfriend was glad we had a real heart to heart, even if it was just texts, while I was busy at work. I have no idea what they talked about and I’m too cowardly to break her heart by telling her it was my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 455

Thanks, I hate it

By Not funny mom! - 18/07/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I couldn’t figure out why I was getting so much spam in my professional email. My own mother thought it would be a hilarious “prank” to sign me up for a ton of random mailing lists. I missed an amazing job opportunity due to her bullshit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 533

You deserved it 89

Breaking news

By Anonymous - 31/07/2025 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out my parents still enjoy sex in their 60s, whereas my wife put an end to our sex life because she was tired of faking her orgasms. I had no idea she was faking, I thought our sex life was good, if she’d have told me I’d have done something about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 125

You've got something…

By Chris - 04/08/2025 00:00 - United States - Kansas City

Today, I rushed out of the bathroom with toothpaste smeared all over my chin and cheek. I was so anxious about going on a date that I didn’t realize this until said date pointed it out halfway through dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 175

You deserved it 408

Anarchy in the UK

By Anonymous - 23/08/2025 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, a lack of porn is ruining my life. My boyfriend refuses to verify his age for some reason, so now every time he’s horny he pesters me instead of sneaking off to the bathroom. I enjoy sex and porn too, but not three times a day. I’ve got other shit to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 230

You deserved it 276

The golden child

By Anonymous - 27/08/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to use my mum's laptop so she told me the password was just my sister's name. I hit a wrong key and misspelled it, so the incorrect password prompt came on screen. The prompt was: "Favourite child?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 482

You deserved it 87

Time for plan A

By Anonymous - 20/09/2025 22:00

Today, it’s my birthday. I had a miscarriage at 12 weeks in June and was not planning on having another kid. Took a Plan B pill after a rendezvous in August, but found out this AM that I’m pregnant. Guess the Plan B didn’t work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 313

You deserved it 223

Confusing

By here's a giant baby - 05/10/2025 03:00

Today, my boyfriend told me he was horny. Since it has been a while, I offered to help. He sighed and complained that he didn't feel attractive and didn't want sex. I laughed and asked if he grew a vagina overnight. He got mad and stomped off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 147

You deserved it 418

Hair today, gone tomorrow

By JB. - 25/10/2025 12:00

Today, I've come to the realization that the only people to call me handsome are women above the age of 55, gay men, or women trying to get money from me and failing. I don't even get a compliment on a haircut after not cutting it for a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 292

You deserved it 122

Please be happy

By Anonymous - 10/12/2025 15:00

Today, I went all out for my husband on our anniversary. I planned meals, took him to a stage show, and got him a bottle of cologne he loves. He was moody, distant, and at one point crying. Why? He found out his ex-wife is getting married today and he couldn’t stop thinking about her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 80

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, I went to a Hobby Lobby with the director of the play my daughter is in. He leaned in to grab a bottle of blue paint, and I mistook it for a hug. When he looked perplexed, I hugged him again, this time jumping in celebration of finding the blue paint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 515

You deserved it 560

Today, while studying in India, I was peacefully journaling, reflecting and enjoying the beautiful landscape. And then a monkey threw its poo at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 283

You deserved it 5 407

Today, I realized just how shy and awkward I really am when I averted my eyes to avoid making eye contact with someone who turned out to be a cardboard cut-out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 281

You deserved it 2 142

Today, my boyfriend told me that he gets more pleasure out of using a Q-tip than he does having sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 995

You deserved it 6 095

Today, a man I don't know came up to me and started screaming about how "all you damn Mexicans were stealing American's jobs" and he stormed off. I'm Native American, and I'm pretty sure we've been here longer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 950

You deserved it 4 494

Today, after getting married recently and my wife making a ton of promises about "things" we'd do, she admitted she won't do any of them and said I should just accept that she lied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 018

You deserved it 753