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I got an FML published!!! Lol wow and I submitted it when I was still pretty upset I didn't think it'd get published :P Okay anyway I ended up calling the police and they were able to find him, along with my books and apparently a ton of other stuff since he'd been robbing people all day and drugs. Hopefully this isn't an omen or anything about my upcoming semester...

By ssjfml - 11/08/2015 14:56 - Denmark - Copenhagen

Today, while enjoying the nice weather in a park, I opened my eyes to the sight of some guy jacking off, half-hidden behind a tree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 318

You deserved it 2 006

By mymidlifecrisis - 08/09/2016 04:53 - United States - Valley Village

Today, after years in a relationship I realized that my partner does not like the music I listen to, the food I cook, the pictures I take, the way I dress. The only thing she likes is when I take her out to eat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 974

You deserved it 1 396

By Anonymous - 23/08/2010 23:28 - United States

Today, I was driving home with my dad after buying a new truck. We were on the freeway and the engine wasn't revving up very much. My dad thought that something was wrong with my transmission, so he reached over to change gears. Most cars won't go into reverse at high speeds. Mine does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 253

You deserved it 3 136

These boots were made for walking

By Triple F - 07/03/2009 17:16 - United States

Today, I laced up my fabulous new boots and walked outside to find my hot neighbor, with whom I carpool every morning. I struck a pose, feeling quite confident. Upon taking my first step down the stairs, I fell forward. I woke up an hour later with 7 stitches in my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 197

You deserved it 40 345

Reached my limit

By stuckonrepeat - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I received the results of the exams that I re-took in order to improve my grades. I got exactly the same grades as before in all four exams. Point for point identical. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 735

You deserved it 19 926

Thanks, I hate it

By ZeldaovaPeach - 05/07/2016 12:44 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I received an envelope with my name written in beautiful writing in my mailbox. I just moved in the day before and hadn't given the address to anyone or met my neighbors yet so I was a bit surprised by it, even more surprised to find nothing but a dick pic inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 252

You deserved it 1 208

By Magnus_the_Red - 09/09/2009 04:13 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me she didn't want to get it on with me because she didn't want to "ruin my innocence." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 641

You deserved it 3 991

Broke

By candidcripple - 30/12/2013 05:57 - United States

Today, while sitting in a handicapped seat on the bus, an old man angrily approached me and chewed me out in front of everyone for not leaving the seat empty for "those who actually need it." Then he stormed off the bus, stepping heavily on my broken foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 647

You deserved it 4 508

By bpruitt95 - 31/12/2012 06:46 - United States - Pitkin

Today, I was at a party. Everyone was drunk, and I happened to overhear someone say, "Where's that guy in the black jacket? I'm going to beat his ass!" I wouldn't have thought anything of it, had I not been the only one wearing a black jacket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 499

You deserved it 3 435

By Apparentlycreepy - 03/03/2011 07:24 - United States

Today, I got rejected by two different guys. One was my ex-boyfriend who said he wanted to keep our friendship, and the other was a guy I went on a date with who faked a European accent the whole time during our date despite him being born and raised in Texas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 612

You deserved it 6 635

By kiddo - 28/01/2009 15:42 - United States

Today, on my 18th birthday, my mom told me the man I thought was my father for 18 years was actually not my father, and my real father was in prison for murder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 130

You deserved it 2 133

By Completely Fed Up - 20/04/2016 18:55 - United States - Spokane

Today, after 2 weeks of hard work in the heat planting a garden, just as I thought the most stressful part was over, my wife's mother comes over and brings a huge dog. She then threw a tennis ball for the dog into my freshly seeded garden multiple times, completely destroying most of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 438

You deserved it 1 547

It's not karaoke night, mom

By RadioactiveKush - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Monroe

Today, my drunken mom began to frantically scream, "YEAH", "WOO HOO", and, "ALRIGHT" at some kindergarteners that were singing 'Amazing Grace' in honor of a restaurant owner who had recently died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 783

You deserved it 2 598

HeEeEeeEeeEeeeelp

By stuckinalift - 18/02/2011 01:31 - United Kingdom

Today, I got stuck in a small elevator. It started to violently judder up and down after I pressed the 'Help' buzzer. The man on the intercom wouldn't stop laughing at how my voice was jumpy from the juddering movements before he called for help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 036

You deserved it 2 921

Lost

By Anna - 02/10/2012 17:37 - United States - Murfreesboro

Today, I got lost at Best Buy. Meanwhile, my mom freaked out, and they called out my name over the intercom. When I walked up to the desk and they saw I was 17, the employees burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 064

You deserved it 4 442

Plenty of pep

By awks - 01/10/2012 12:50 - United States - Stuart

Today, I was going through Facebook photos of a pep rally in the hopes that I'd be in at least one of them. I was in one alright. Pulling out a wedgie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 305

You deserved it 5 969

By Narehs - 13/01/2010 01:05 - United States

Today, I was the only cash register open at the local supermarket. I had to sell condoms and chocolate frosting to my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 281

You deserved it 2 917

By Gassy and sassy - 07/12/2014 06:15 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I farted while I was in the car with my driving instructor and my partner. They couldn't hear it, but it smelled so bad that my instructor thought there was a gas leak, and he made us switch cars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 969

You deserved it 6 781

By ardea_alba - 01/01/2016 20:27 - Russian Federation - Yekaterinburg

Today, I was talking to myself in the bathroom to remind myself of what chores I need to do. My husband overheard me and is now convinced that I was on the phone with someone. No amount of proof, logic or reasoning can convince him that I'm not cheating on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 891

You deserved it 2 299

ardea_alba tells us more.

ardea_alba 8

Sunday 3 January 2016 19:11

OP here: I'm a work-from-home mom and devoted wife :) We share bank accounts, mails, FB profiles (yes, we're one of those couples) and anything else you could think of...He knows how my phone works and what features it has better than myself, so to sum up - no, there is absolutely no reason he would think that except the fact that I am the first relationship he hasn't cheated in, so I guess it's true what they say - 'you assume for others what you're capable of yourself' :) cheers to all,

By Stuby14 - 23/11/2015 14:31 - United States - Brookings

Today, my girlfriend and I were sending dirty messages to each other. We were getting really into it until she replied to one of my messages with, "Oooooh yeah." I read it in the Kool-Aid man's voice and couldn't stop laughing. Mood killed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 323

You deserved it 5 796